Viral ESP


My daughter can detect a looming medical appointment and has the uncanny ability to manifest a wide array of viruses to thwart any procedure. Viral ESP is what I’m calling it…

Due to extreme feeding issues as an infant, a G-Tube was recommended. The day before the surgery, our girl had an allergic reaction of some kind and the procedure was rescheduled. She was in perfect health until the next scheduled date, when she came down with a chest infection. The procedure was rescheduled once again. The next date? Flu. By the fourth attempt, Avery had started eating on her own. Not a lot, but enough to cancel the G-Tube surgery permanently. Four years later, no G-Tube and Avery has found a respectable niche of her own on the growth curve. 
The next procedure was an ECG and 24-hour Holter Monitor. We missed the appointment because Avery contracted Scarlet Fever. Excuse me? Are we living in pioneer times?  Who, with the exception of Laura Ingalls Wilder, gets Scarlet Fever??

 A few months later, Ear Tube insertion surgery was postponed due to a cold. Unimaginative, but effective none-the-less.

Recently, Avery was slotted for a sedated EEG. We rescheduled due to a case of Shingles. Personally, I think she really outdid herself with this one. Shingles usually occurs in adults. A mere 5 percent of cases occur in children under age 15.  Bravo “Mini Meryl”, bravo.
When I picked up the anti-viral meds to combat this latest infection, the pharmacist looked surprised. Perhaps because of the unusual diagnosis or possibly due to my own self-prescribed meds — three cans of anti-Shingles Pringles. 
As the last of the pox faded, Avery really upped her game with a perforated ear drum and leaky infection. Well played my friend, but if you think that will get you out of going to your cardiologist appointment on Wednesday, think again…

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