I’ve fallen victim to a nasty throat infection. It’s way down deep in my throat. It’s a deep throat infection. Bah ha. Just a little dirty Strep humour for you there. I have the immune system of a premature baby in the NIC ward and there’s nothing funny about that. Apparently, sleep IS vital for your health. Go figure.
I slept all day yesterday (minus a trip to the walk-in clinic for a throat swab. Gag). I slept through dinner and into the night. I knew a solid night’s rest would do me the world of good. However, at 2:28 a.m. a figure appeared at my bedside. My seven year old son, awakened by a nightmare, was terrified and shaking. He crawled into bed, snuggled up close (flash forward 24-48 hours from now and I’ll have a sick boy on my hands) and asked me if monsters were real. I explained they weren’t and that he was safe, blah, blah, the usual rigamorole.
I rolled over to go to sleep and cleared my throat. “Mum? Is everything ok?” he asked. “Yes, why?” I answered. He wanted to know if something was going on with me – like some sort of “change”…
He asked me to turn on the light so he could see me.  Oh my god, he thought I had transformed into a monster! He didn’t buy that my illness was a typical malady, but instead a genetic mutation into a creature of some kind. Coincidentally, my boy has recently started reading comic books on his own before bed…
I flicked on the light and he had a good look me. Sure, my PJs were mismatched, my hair was beyond tousled and my skin was white as a sheet, but does this make me a monster? According to my son, yes…it just might.
It took me fifteen minutes to convince him that I was indeed his “real mother” and not a monster. Sigh. He finally fell asleep once he was convinced I wasn’t going to eat his face. Ah nightmares. They’re scary real sometimes.
At 4 a.m. his sister (who is a living nightmare…what? I love her with all my heart but c’mon, it’s true. She’s killin’ us over here with these sleepless nights) woke up and stayed up for the day.
I may not be a monster, but I sure feel like one this morning. I’m tired and cranky and throat hurty and starving! I haven’t eaten in days. I’m so hungry, I could eat somebody’s face…

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