Archive - June 2013

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Navigating The Hormonal Highway of Motherhood
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My Little Pony, Sexy But Lonely….
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Parenting Fails…and WINS!
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Have You Seen My EyePhone?
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Worry Wart

Navigating The Hormonal Highway of Motherhood

  Are these photos blurry? I can’t tell because my parental pupils are sleepy and everything looks fuzzy to me. Even my legs. Oh wait, they ARE fuzzy since I haven’t time to shave in weeks. That’s the thing about parenting—you will be tired and busy and have only fleeting moments to yourself for approximately twenty years. Only then will your life regain a steady direction. But, by that time you’ll be hitting menopause and your new found direction will soon go out the window. But it’s okay because it’s all worth it. The fatigue, the worry, the self-doubt, the sacrifice, the loss of identity. Wait, where was I going with this? Oh yes, parenting is a trip worth taking. This trip is fuelled by joy, love and laughter, and caffeine and let us not forget, hormones. Hormones can cause us to feel pretty overwrought at times. The lack of sleep doesn’t help. The less sleep I get, the more emotional I become. It’s rather comical, according to my husband. Pregnancy hormones cause us to furiously fluff our nests in preparation of our little ones. They also contribute to us blowing things out of proportion. Like the morning my husband and[…]

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My Little Pony, Sexy But Lonely….

I assure you this is a PG-rated post despite the suggestive title. I’ll explain, but first you MUST listen to the My Little Pony Theme Song below. It’ll only take a minute. Actually, the first 5 seconds will suffice. It’s essential for the rest of this story. No really. Now that the song is firmly lodged in your brain FOREVER (The tune sticks like glue. No anti-horse reference inferred by the way.) we can go on. My daughter adores the My Little Pony gang — both in their pony and human forms. She watches the show at home on Netflix and sometimes her brother watches too. He says he doesn’t like it, but I say neigh. He so does. One day shortly after watching the show, I heard him singing the theme song to himself but with new and *improved* chorus which goes like this… “My little pony, sexy but lonely.….” (it’s important to note that the word sexy must be sung with a Sean Connery accent). Why? He’s ten and thinks the word seksi is hilarious. I’m 40-esque and agree; especially when said with an accent while rolling your eyes dramatically. Now we have this shtick where certain extended[…]

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Parenting Fails…and WINS!

  Some parenting blogs explore every aspect from positive to painful. While some share only the bright shiny moments and leave the missteps hidden in the shadows. I try to share the positive moments whenever I can. There’s already enough web woe to go around. However, I also divulge some of the sad times, the worries, and the parenting fails. And I fail. Often. Sometimes I worry my mistakes will somehow damage two otherwise perfectly perfect people. I’ve sent my kids to school with waffle sandwiches because yet again, I didn’t make time to get to the grocery store. Out of frustration, I’ve slapped my child’s hand. I’ve pouted like an insolent child. I’ve lied about my daughter’s age. I’ve hidden in the bathroom to check my email. Dinner has consisted of GMO laden crap instead of organic healthy and homemade because sometimes cereal for dinner just happens over here. Moments like these are not exactly worthy of a mom medal of honour. I’ve sent my children to school in raincoats on a sunny day because the weather App on my phone — accidentally set to ‘Vancouver’ — said it would rain. It was 28 degrees and sunny. I’ve neglected[…]

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Have You Seen My EyePhone?

Warning: Do not scroll down if bloody eyeballs make you squeamish. I don’t know how or why, but a blood vessel burst in my eye. Yes, that rhymes. I’ve always considered myself a pupil of poetry. Perhaps now I will make this writing genre my new focus. But please, don’t lash out if you don’t care for poetry. Hey, how about a little ocular haiku? creepy bloody ball seeping, spreading, reddening crimson orb, blinking It seems I just composed the first ever eye-ku. Sorry? Like I said, for reasons unknown, my left eyeball exploded. The white of my eye was stained blood red. A subconjunctival hemorrhage isn’t serious. It happens — possibly the result of a scratch or a strong sneeze. Or perhaps a tiresome flight on the red eye. Of course I took photos of it. Wouldn’t you? The other morning I woke up, rolled over and slowly opened my eyes (both the red one AND the white one) and there was my iPhone propped up on my bedside table, staring at me! My husband, funny guy that he is *said sarcastically* had reset my homescreen to this. The man is always pulling pranks on me. I’ll have to[…]

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Worry Wart

     I’ve always been a worrier. I mostly focus on the biggies like death, illness, accidents, the environment, loss. I’m really fun to be around sometimes. 😉  When you become a parent worry takes on a new dimension. We are in charge of somebody else. Like truly in charge — of their health and well-being. If we drop the ball, it’s worrisome to say the least. And when one parents a child with medical or developmental challenges, that’s another level of worry. I’ve always been able to cope with my worrying with a little reassurance, or with some stern self-talk. Lately however, my usual tactics have failed and my worrying has reached ridiculous heights. For example, if my husband takes a few minutes longer than normal on his way home from a Sunday morning coffee run, I begin to fret. “What if his car went off the road? What if he was held up at the Tim Horton’s Drive-thru? What if…..oh screw it, I’m texting him!!” And god forbid he doesn’t reply immediately. The other day as I was examining a wart (sorry. gross. but necessary for this story) on my daughter’s knee, I had an epiphany… I worried[…]

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