2010 - Page 7 of 9 - Forever In Mom Genes

Heads Up

Apr 12 2010

Look up. See that pitiful header? No! Not YOUR head. You have a perfectly nice cranium. I love your hair by the way. I mean, look up at the top of this blog. The title header is making me crazy. I can not get the damn thing to stretch (that’s what he said) or at least appear in the centre. Is that too much to ask? Is it?? Ok, I’m getting a little shrill here. I hate when things are off kilter. I feel at ease when things are fully on kilter. Is it really a big deal that the thing is off centre? It shouldn’t prevent me from continuing to write, especially since writing is therapeutic and calming. So the header’s a little askew. Big deal. Deep breaths. Shake it off. Just shaaaaaake it off… Bah! It’s no use. I won’t rest until my header is at it’s maximum length (again, that’s what he said). Any blogger experts out there who know what my problem is? (ahem, by that I mean my blog problem…)

Apr 10 2010

Parents often complain about their child’s picky eating. It’s common and it’s SO frustrating. You go to great lengths to make a nutritious and delicious meal and your ingrate of a child tosses the whole thing on the floor. It makes me crazy(er). Avery is a picky eater to the extreme. On a pickiness scale from one to ten, she’s an eleventeen. I plan on buying this book asap -> Not that it will likely help much in our particular situation, but at least I’ll have some laughs while cleaning spaghetti sauce off the wall and using a Tide stick to remove a blackberry stain from the canvas mat of a painting in our dining room. True story. At three months of age Avery refused to nurse and we have struggled to feed her ever since. She was hospitalized at eight months of age for “Failure to Thrive” and was scheduled for g-tube surgery on four separate occasions. Due to illness, the surgeries were postponed. We ended up canceling the last scheduled procedure and got lucky; Avery started eating enough by mouth on her own to get by with out the tube. Three years later, Avery is still a skinny[…]

Apr 08 2010

Your children have the power to make you weep with joy and puff with pride. They also have the power to embarrass you beyond belief. Last week my daughter had an appointment with her cardiologist; a very nice man whose office Avery mistook for a playground. She was a holy terror opening drawers and slamming doors. The only way I could concentrate on what the doctor was saying was to hold her, bouncing her on my hip. This tactic did the trick until she decided to investigate down my top. Maintaining a serious conversation while a third party has a sticky hand wedged in your cleavage is challenging. Without warning my daughter grabbed my shirt and bra in an iron-like grasp and pulled them both swiftly to the side, giving the doctor an eyeful. I’m sure only look out of professional interest as the left side of my chest was exposed, which everyone knows is where the heart is located. I basically died. On our next outing we popped into the mall to check out the new spring fashions. While I was ogling a pretty floral skirt, Avery who was strapped into her stroller, reached out to fondle a[…]

Apr 07 2010

Here are ten honest things about me… in no particular order 1. I’m sarcastic. Sometimes too much so. What? Like I’m the ONLY one? (See?) 2. My top left front tooth is a fakity, fake, fake. 3. I f*cking curse far more than a lady should. 4. I always imagined having three children. After Avery however, I chickened out. I sometimes mourn the baby that will never be. 5. I can’t do an accent of any kind to save my life, although to the chagrin of those in ear shot, I continue to try. 6. I have to say, “Drive safely” to anyone leaving my house AND I must blow a stray eyelash off my cheek while making a wish or something bad will happen. It’s exhausting controlling the fate of others let me tell you. 7. I like to be the one “in charge” at all times (number 6 makes more sense now doesn’t it?). It’s probably why I loved being a teacher. The teacher is always in charge. 8. I need a chemical peel on the backs of my hands. Why didn’t I slap on some sunscreen back in the day? Damn hindsight. Now I’m cursed with seventy[…]

Apr 01 2010

I talk incessantly about being tired, but I can’t help it. This girl child is killing me over here with her 2 AM-5 AM “Night-Owl parties.” At least being over-tired gives me an excuse for being such a giant loser.I’ve lost so many things in the past few weeks, I’m literally at a loss. I have misplaced/or lost forever…never to be seen again: …my cell phone (like, a lot) …a wallet where I keep gift cards (later found in a purse side pocket) …our video camera …my favourite wooden bracelet …the beautiful necklace my friend gave me for my 40th (all found behind the dresser in my closet) …my drivers licence (never recovered…had to get a new one) …the t.v. remote for three days (found under the couch. I swear I looked there. Several times) …every damn hair elastic I own. Where do they go? Furthermore, where are all of my bobby pins? …a cheque made out to me (found in the kitchen catch-all drawer) …the charger adapter for my new iphone (found under my bed…no clue how it got there) …a brand new, never opened pack of iPhone screen covers (I suspect it went out with the recycling) …a[…]

Archive - 2010

Heads Up

The Ultimate Picky Eater

Whose Kids Are These Anyway?

Honestly Me

Loser