Archive - June 2013

1
Navigating The Hormonal Highway of Motherhood
2
My Little Pony, Sexy But Lonely….
3
Sometimes You Just Gotta Dance
4
Parenting Fails…and WINS!
5
Have You Seen My EyePhone?
6
Worry Wart
7
Do You Have A “Special Needs Script?”
8
Magical Meal Moments…mostly

Navigating The Hormonal Highway of Motherhood

  Are these photos blurry? I can’t tell because my parental pupils are sleepy and everything looks fuzzy to me. Even my legs. Oh wait, they ARE fuzzy since I haven’t time to shave in weeks. That’s the thing about parenting—you will be tired and busy and have only fleeting moments to yourself for approximately twenty years. Only then will your life regain a steady direction. But, by that time you’ll be hitting menopause and your new found direction will soon go out the window. But it’s okay because it’s all worth it. The fatigue, the worry, the self-doubt, the sacrifice, the loss of identity. Wait, where was I going with this? Oh yes, parenting is a trip worth taking. This trip is fuelled by joy, love and laughter, and caffeine and let us not forget, hormones. Hormones can cause us to feel pretty overwrought at times. The lack of sleep doesn’t help. The less sleep I get, the more emotional I become. It’s rather comical, according to my husband. Pregnancy hormones cause us to furiously fluff our nests in preparation of our little ones. They also contribute to us blowing things out of proportion. Like the morning my husband and[…]

Read More

My Little Pony, Sexy But Lonely….

I assure you this is a PG-rated post despite the suggestive title. I’ll explain, but first you MUST listen to the My Little Pony Theme Song below. It’ll only take a minute. Actually, the first 5 seconds will suffice. It’s essential for the rest of this story. No really. Now that the song is firmly lodged in your brain FOREVER (The tune sticks like glue. No anti-horse reference inferred by the way.) we can go on. My daughter adores the My Little Pony gang — both in their pony and human forms. She watches the show at home on Netflix and sometimes her brother watches too. He says he doesn’t like it, but I say neigh. He so does. One day shortly after watching the show, I heard him singing the theme song to himself but with new and *improved* chorus which goes like this… “My little pony, sexy but lonely.….” (it’s important to note that the word sexy must be sung with a Sean Connery accent). Why? He’s ten and thinks the word seksi is hilarious. I’m 40-esque and agree; especially when said with an accent while rolling your eyes dramatically. Now we have this shtick where certain extended[…]

Read More

Sometimes You Just Gotta Dance

Come on, get your freak on!  * This is much better, or far worse…depending on how you look at it, with the music turned on. (click top left to turn on music). ** A friend watched this and said, “Just how drunk were you?” Sadly, this is me sober.The Thornburys are known to randomly break into dance or song for no apparent reason. So if you plan to visit, consider yourself forewarned.

Read More

Parenting Fails…and WINS!

  Some parenting blogs explore every aspect from positive to painful. While some share only the bright shiny moments and leave the missteps hidden in the shadows. I try to share the positive moments whenever I can. There’s already enough web woe to go around. However, I also divulge some of the sad times, the worries, and the parenting fails. And I fail. Often. Sometimes I worry my mistakes will somehow damage two otherwise perfectly perfect people. I’ve sent my kids to school with waffle sandwiches because yet again, I didn’t make time to get to the grocery store. Out of frustration, I’ve slapped my child’s hand. I’ve pouted like an insolent child. I’ve lied about my daughter’s age. I’ve hidden in the bathroom to check my email. Dinner has consisted of GMO laden crap instead of organic healthy and homemade because sometimes cereal for dinner just happens over here. Moments like these are not exactly worthy of a mom medal of honour. I’ve sent my children to school in raincoats on a sunny day because the weather App on my phone — accidentally set to ‘Vancouver’ — said it would rain. It was 28 degrees and sunny. I’ve neglected[…]

Read More

Have You Seen My EyePhone?

Warning: Do not scroll down if bloody eyeballs make you squeamish. I don’t know how or why, but a blood vessel burst in my eye. Yes, that rhymes. I’ve always considered myself a pupil of poetry. Perhaps now I will make this writing genre my new focus. But please, don’t lash out if you don’t care for poetry. Hey, how about a little ocular haiku? creepy bloody ball seeping, spreading, reddening crimson orb, blinking It seems I just composed the first ever eye-ku. Sorry? Like I said, for reasons unknown, my left eyeball exploded. The white of my eye was stained blood red. A subconjunctival hemorrhage isn’t serious. It happens — possibly the result of a scratch or a strong sneeze. Or perhaps a tiresome flight on the red eye. Of course I took photos of it. Wouldn’t you? The other morning I woke up, rolled over and slowly opened my eyes (both the red one AND the white one) and there was my iPhone propped up on my bedside table, staring at me! My husband, funny guy that he is *said sarcastically* had reset my homescreen to this. The man is always pulling pranks on me. I’ll have to[…]

Read More

Worry Wart

     I’ve always been a worrier. I mostly focus on the biggies like death, illness, accidents, the environment, loss. I’m really fun to be around sometimes. 😉  When you become a parent worry takes on a new dimension. We are in charge of somebody else. Like truly in charge — of their health and well-being. If we drop the ball, it’s worrisome to say the least. And when one parents a child with medical or developmental challenges, that’s another level of worry. I’ve always been able to cope with my worrying with a little reassurance, or with some stern self-talk. Lately however, my usual tactics have failed and my worrying has reached ridiculous heights. For example, if my husband takes a few minutes longer than normal on his way home from a Sunday morning coffee run, I begin to fret. “What if his car went off the road? What if he was held up at the Tim Horton’s Drive-thru? What if…..oh screw it, I’m texting him!!” And god forbid he doesn’t reply immediately. The other day as I was examining a wart (sorry. gross. but necessary for this story) on my daughter’s knee, I had an epiphany… I worried[…]

Read More

Do You Have A “Special Needs Script?”

Writing a movie script? Fun!   Writing a script for your child to have on hand for when peers, out of ignorance or curiosity, call his younger sibling a “retard“? Not quite as much fun. But it’s important to arm kids who have a sibling with special needs with the words to thwart such attacks. And what about the parents of children with a disABILITY? Parents like me with soft hearts and thin skin. There was a time when I considered having cards made up to hand to strangers who stared or made unsolicited comments. I thought by having the words written out, I’d be better able to explain without getting emotional. Since then, my skin has thickened an inch or two and with time and experience and I now welcome the opportunity to address them directly, and calmly. Usually. More often than not, people are receptive upon hearing the information when delivered in a respectful manner. And yes, the “respectful” tone employed for such exchanges takes effort. Look out Meryl Streep — the Best Actress award goes to… Addressing adults — check. I seem to have that under control. Minus the time when that crusty awful woman shushed us.[…]

Read More

Magical Meal Moments…mostly

The cheerful chatter, the sweet sharing, the ardent appreciation of your creative efforts in the kitchen — meal time is the cornerstone of a family, and the most magical time.    Haha. Just kidding. It’s exhausting. Nobody is clambering to eat the healthy dishes I’ve slaved over, except for maybe the two begging dogs who are slobbering under the table, getting hair on my pants.   Meals are a balance between casual conversation and intense negotiations. “How was your day? Just eat two more bites!” And let’s not forget reminders like, “Too much! Slow down. Hurry up, its getting cold. Chew! That’s too big, you could choke. Drink your water. Please don’t stab the table with your fork. Elbows off the table. Elbows off your brother. This is my chair, THAT is your chair. Just eat, no more talking.” Left behind are leisurely dinners by candlelight, savouring food and adult conversation. Family dinners are loud and messy. Just like life. Milk will get spilled. Peas will roll onto the floor. Ketchup will end up in somebody’s hair. Kids will pick out the onions. Parents will eat the leftovers from their children’s plates. And someone (usually me) will rest their forehead[…]

Read More

All images and text are copyright © 2019 Forever In Mom Genes