Archive - May 2013

1
My Teeth May Be Floating But Damn My Skin Looks Good
2
Evel Knievel Rides Into Summer
3
I’m so full of it, it’s no wonder my eyes are brown
4
EEG Results Are In
5
Best Little Laugh
6
My Break Up With Joe and Why We’re Getting Back Together
7
Disney Park Guests Who Abuse The System Spoil The Fun For Everyone
8
Curse You Homophones!
9
Apparently I’m A Dinosaur…
10
When It Rains It Pours

My Teeth May Be Floating But Damn My Skin Looks Good

  That bandwagon I fell off, the “Mandate to Hydrate” one? Well, I’ve jumped back on. But this time, I have digital support. My hydration help comes in the form of an App called Drink Right. Don’t get me wrong, I can drink right. I rarely dribble down my chin onto my shirt. Unless of course that shirt is new, and white, and the beverage is red wine. Then I spill like the dickens. This App helps the dehydrated get fully saturated by providing (somewhat annoying) reminders throughout the day. It works like this. Download the *Drink Right App from itunes It’s .99 cents, but I got it free when it was offered as a free App from Apps Gone Free. What? You don’t have Apps Gone Free??! Oh my lord. Get it. It’s free and there are at least 7 new FREE Apps offered every day! It’s a steal. Well, it’s legal, but it’s a crime not to download it. Maybe I shouldn’t share? What if too many people get it and then it crashes and then I lose my free App connection? I obviously haven’t thought this through. Set up your specifics Input your age, gender, weight (don’t[…]

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Evel Knievel Rides Into Summer

My daughter is happiest when she’s moving. Running, hopping, scooting around on her wittle bum, and of course,  climbing — her forte. The kid can’t sit still. I on the other hand am more than happy to sit until dust bunnies collect at my feet. But, when you have a child who is in perpetual motion, maternal sitting is rare. And as “enjoyable” as it is to play soccer goalie in the basement or hover helicopter-parent style under the jungle gym, sometimes I need a few minutes to do “frivolous” tasks like, you know, make dinner or unload the dishwasher. Occasionally (when the gods are smiling down upon my weary head) I’m able to cue up Netflix or set out some puzzles to keep this whirling dervish entertained and seated within view (because when she’s out of sight, THIS happens). So when the Fisher-Price Fairy delivered our latest toy to test, I knew it would be a win-win. Avery couldn’t wait to take it for a ride. No, seriously. Look at her. She couldn’t even wait for me to take it out of the box. If I had a dollar for every ounce of her enthusiasm, I’d be a very[…]

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I’m so full of it, it’s no wonder my eyes are brown

The plans, the promises, the proclamations. I honestly believe in them…at the time. I am quick to jump on passing bandwagons, with every intention of remaining seated until the ride comes to a full and complete stop. However, I have a history of falling off said bandwagons the minute they hit a bumpy patch of terrain. Here are few of my plethora of passionate initiatives that have hit the bricks: Karma Cleanse I stuck with it for awhile. I did. And most days I strive to keep it alive, but there are days, man are there days, when I soak up catty gossip like a bun to gravy. Mmmm, gravy.   Mandate to Hydrate I know how important water is — for my health, for my skin, for energy, for weight control. So why don’t I drink more? Last week I downloaded an app called ‘Drink Right’ that actually beeps and tells me how much to drink and when. Hopefully this will help me bathe my insides with H2O.   Lisa Leftover Quest for Balance This epiphany seemed to fall on deaf ears. MY deaf ears. I really need to learn to listen better.   Making myself unavailable Ya, that[…]

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EEG Results Are In

To the untrained eye, these wavy lines are a series of peaks and valleys forming scribbles across a page. It seems incredible to me that anyone can decipher their meaning. A neurologist can examine these lines and see inside my child’s brain — she’s breathing, she’s dreaming, she’s learning, she’s remembering; the lines tell a story. Every thought, every action, every emotion is recorded and preserved within these lines. To the casual observer these lines are a curiosity. To somebody with Epilepsy, these lines are a gauge. A disruption in the electrical current may reveal seizures lying in wait. Our daughter was diagnosed with Epilepsy at the age of three. Her initial seizures were fierce and long lasting. Luckily three years later, seizures are being managed effectively with medication. They are so well controlled that our neurologist suggested she may have outgrown the disorder. What a wonderful thought. An EEG would help determine if this was indeed the case. We were excited and waited anxiously for the results. Recently I witnessed a child having a seizure. Not my child, but I saw my daughter’s reflection in this child’s face. My heart breaks for this girl’s family who must endure seizure[…]

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Best Little Laugh

I adore the internet. My son would say, “If you love it so much why don’t you marry it?” Silly boy, that would make me a polygamist. Despite my screen being dotted with the odd spot of negativity, the bright spots eclipse the darkness. One of the brightest spots for me is my relationship with Fisher-Price. Toys, babies, supportive moms, playful kids. Hello, it doesn’t get sunnier than that. Speaking of sunny, check out these two goofballs. Aka, the lights of my life…. Nature has assured that parents find their children impossibly adorable and entertaining so that we don’t lose our minds on them when they wake us up for no good reason at 3:47 AM…. like today. One of the newest and brightest spots on the web is the Fisher-Price Laugh & Learn webpage. It offers all kids of fun webisodes, games, activities and apps to keep our little ones happy and entertained. Possibly at 3:47 AM… To celebrate the launch of this new site, Fisher-Price is hosting a contest called the Best Little Laugh. Enter by visiting the Best Little Laugh page and uploading your favourite photo or video of your baby at his or her cutest/funniest. Why[…]

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My Break Up With Joe and Why We’re Getting Back Together

  I gave up coffee and now I mourn it every morn. You might be thinking, “Why would you give it up in the first place (you stupid self masochistic woman)?” It’s because of the jitters. That may sound like a fun 1950s musical group, but I assure you, the jitters ain’t fun. I’ve been on edge, worried about things — things I can’t possibly control. I thought by eliminating caffeine I might at least be able to control those pesky jitters, at least a little. So bye-bye coffee, hello pissed off, tired, she-bitch. It’s not like I drank a lot of coffee. One cup a day. Maybe two on the weekend. I’ve been off the sacred brown elixir (with the exception of a few half cafs) for a month now. And the jitters? They’re still there, lurking. I suspect they’ll remain until I learn to cope better with the stress that goes hand in hand with parenthood and WAHM-hood and general life-hood. So this morning I’m sitting here, sipping my herbal tea scrolling through my Facebook feed and I see this Reader’s Digest article, touting the benefits of coffee. *Eyes Widen, Mouth Waters, Heartbeat Quickens* It seems I broke[…]

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Disney Park Guests Who Abuse The System Spoil The Fun For Everyone

Recently I wrote about how grateful we are to Disney World for ensuring that every family is able to enjoy the magical experience to the fullest. For many children like mine with special needs, line ups and crowds can pose a challenge. The Guest Assistance Card issued to us made the world of difference to our family. I also wrote, “Sadly there are those who seek to abuse any system…” It’s true and to be expected. But this? THIS?! I am speechless…   “Some wealthy Manhattan moms have figured out a way to cut the long lines at Disney World — by hiring disabled people to pose as family members so they and their kids can jump to the front…” Read the full disgusting, deplorable story here.

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Apparently I’m A Dinosaur…

Call me a wet blanket, but I’m not a fan Hallmark holidays. Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day… I can’t help but think they make those who are missing special people in their lives, feel left out. I don’t make a big deal of these holidays, but when you have children who want to celebrate Mother’s Day by making you feel special, how can you say no? Avery was over-the-moon excited to show me the present she made for me at school. She wasn’t exactly sure what “Mother’s Day” was and she *may* have wished me ‘Happy Birthday’ several times over the weekend. But when she presented me with the candle she made at school she couldn’t have been more proud and I knew this gift came straight from her little heart.  The girl really does light up my life in so many ways… And my son, my sweet creative kid blew me away. Last year for my mom’s birthday, he and I wrote something for her — a mock animal project based on the elusive “Anne” grandma. This Anne-imal project was so much fun to work on together. Clearly he enjoyed it and remembered what to do since he[…]

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When It Rains It Pours

  We all have stuff to deal with. But hopefully said “stuff” is spread out and doesn’t happen all at once….like when life’s little challenges rained upon us in one intense deluge. Over the past three weeks… Daughter’s pre-op meeting with anesthetist Daughter’s pre-op general exam Grandfather in hospital Daughter’s EEG to determine if seizure activity is still present (still waiting for results) Mom gets five minutes of work done Daughter’s dental surgery Daughter’s annual blood work to screen for potential blood disorder associated with genetic condition Daughter gets Strep Throat and ear drum bursts Mom talks to her doctor about her rising anxiety and wonders if she’ll feel calm, cool and collected ever again? Mom gets Strep Throat. Daughter’s annual 24-hour Holter monitor test to assess rhythm, mom too sick to go so husband steps in Daughter’s blood work comes back “abnormal”. Mom freaks out and imagines the worst Mom, son and daughter go to Sick Kids for new blood test. Son faints. Mom questions whether 3 pm is too early to start drinking? Contractor hired to fix post-flood kitchen bails and we’re left counter and ceiling-less Mom has weird allergic reaction and breaks out in hives Another issue[…]

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