Tag - special needs

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Why We’ve Chosen At Home Learning This Year—Our Interview With CBC
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Pandemic Parenting: Back to School or Not?
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Can’t Wear A Mask? Stay Home Or Wear A Face Shield
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Mind What You Say To A Highly Literal Child
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Pandemic Parenting When You Have A Child With Special Needs

Why We’ve Chosen At Home Learning This Year—Our Interview With CBC

📷  Spencer Gallichan-Lowe/CBC Avery was on the 6 o’clock news last week. The title of the CBC news segment was, “Why some parents of kids with special needs are making the ‘heart-breaking’ choice of at-home learning.” You can read the full story on the CBC website HERE and the video segment that aired is below.  When the reporter called to talk to me about our decision to opt out of in person learning, I had a lot to say. When she asked if I’d appear on camera to elaborate, I agreed (even though I was in “active wear” and hadn’t washed my hair in um, awhile). The news van would be at our house in an hour so I scrambled to shower and find something to wear. As an aside, the camera really does add 20+ pounds, so high waisted pants that tie at the midriff, paired with a tight tank that belongs to your daughter is not the most flattering wardrobe choice. But I digress… As I got dressed, I braced myself for a difficult discussion. We had given ourselves a deadline of September 1st to tell our daughter she wouldn’t be attending school in person. I dreaded breaking this news to[…]

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Pandemic Parenting: Back to School or Not?

Last August we were deciding what school backpack to buy and whether or not to sign up for the school lunch program. This year we’re deciding whether or not to send our children back to school in the midst of a contagious virus. It feels surreal (word of the year right there). This isn’t a choice anybody imagined having to make. Though everyone is saying, “Whatever your decision, we support you, no judgment,” that’s not entirely true. People are judging. Though it’s not really about other people’s choices, but about justifying and feeling secure about our own. But here’s the thing. PANDEMIC. There is no security, and the uncertainty brings out the worst in some people. Imagine a single working mom who has no option for childcare and who would absolutely keep her kids home if she could. Then imagine she scrolls through her Facebook feed and sees the following comment: “If you’re sending your kids back to school, you better update your will.” What an awful thing to say. It’s dramatic and mean. An insensitive and ignorant comment like this compounds the guilt and distress she is already feeling. If you were sitting down with this mom over coffee masked[…]

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Can’t Wear A Mask? Stay Home Or Wear A Face Shield

This “mask wearers versus non-mask wearers” situation is divisive. Like, aggressively divisive. I don’t consider myself to be the least bit aggressive, but even me, a kitten by all accounts, has her claws out.  This pent up frustration is why I “went low” at the grocery store last week. I’m not beating myself up about it mind you. This issue has potential life or death implications. But not everyone sees it that way. Full disclosure—I DO see it that way.  As the parent of a medically vulnerable child, I’m not screwing around. People who choose not to wear a mask or face shield in public piss me right off. So yes, I acted in an uncharacteristically immature and passive aggressive manner. But seriously. Seriously.  The story… I was grocery shopping at Farm Boy, a local grocery store I frequent because it’s small, and their health and safety protocol makes me feel secure. Also, the staff all wear masks, unlike the unionized grocery stores. As well, I’ve found most of their patrons tend to mask up which makes me feel safer.  So when I shopped there last week, I was disappointed to see so many people shopping bare faced. I hid my annoyance,[…]

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Mind What You Say To A Highly Literal Child

My daughter is literally the most literal person I know. Her brain is just wired that way.  If she asks for an extra big scoop of pasta and I say, “I hope your eyes aren’t bigger than your stomach,” she’ll say, “Nope. My eyes are normal size.” Or if you tell her, “We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it,” she’ll ask, “Which bridge? Are we driving or walking over it? Can I pack a snack?”   Until recently, if I snuggled her and said, “You’re so delicious, I could just eat you up,” she’d wriggle away in protest and exclaim, “I’m not food!” She understands now that it’s an expression of affection, and that I won’t actually come at her with a fork.  I love a witty figure of speech, a pun, or clever turn-of-phrase, and use them often. As a rule, I think this is the best practise. How else will a child learn to communicate effectively if we don’t introduce modern vernacular and push the language bar? This morning I inadvertently pushed the bar too high. The horrified expression on my sweet girl’s face is burned on my brain; because her literal brain mistook my “tech specific” language for something alarmingly[…]

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Pandemic Parenting When You Have A Child With Special Needs

I just had a full blown pandemic panic attack. I haven’t had one in years. A general panic attack I mean—pandemic specific panic attacks are a new thing.  If you’ve never experienced a panic attack, they’re pretty awful. It’s a slow build that can also feel like an out of the blue gut punch. It’s hard to breathe. Picture a floundering fish, gasping for air. There’s sweating, a racing heart, and a tightening in the chest significant enough to question whether or not to call 911. There’s also a sense of doom. Big time foreboding. There can also be tears. A lot of them. It’s nothing I would personally recommend.  During the SARS outbreak in 2003 I was busy giving birth to my first child and fairly oblivious to the hysteria. I was, from what I can remember, pretty chill for its entirety.  But pandemics are clearly panic proliferating. I mean, have you been to a grocery store in the past three days? The frozen food FOMO is enough to set anyone enough off. But I think what I experienced earlier today is rooted in something above and beyond the regular “I don’t have enough toilet paper and sandwich bread” panic. […]

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