mindful Archives - Forever In Mom Genes

Mistakes Happen—What You Do Next Matters

Jun 29 2020

You might have the best of intentions, but you can be accidentally offensive or innocently insensitive. We’ve all done it. It’s what we do next, after the mistake or misstep, that shows who we really are. I saw this image on Instagram and wanted to share it. I traced it back to the original source—because we should always do that if we can. Giving credit where credit is due is worth a little sleuthing because creating beautiful pictures and thoughtful graphics takes work. I found the artist’s page and read what she wrote to accompany the graphic she created. I nodded in agreement with her sentiments about treating people with love and respect, and about checking our privilege and biases and just being better. Amen girl. *Posted with permission from @ARTBYBIANCAGA If I hadn’t looked for the original content, I wouldn’t have seen the author’s EDIT. In this simple addition to her post she demonstrated her commitment to listening and learning. Isn’t this what we’ve all be vowing to do? To listen and learn and change by accepting feedback with an open mind and a gracious heart? When we admit that we didn’t know what we didn’t know, we grow.[…]

Oct 05 2017

I understand the parameters of reality, so why do I worry so much? It’s pointless and I know that worrying is harmful, so why do I keep doing it? I think I have an answer. The first time I recall being really worried was when I was seven years old. My dad traveled a lot and one night his plane was late. I was convinced he had crashed and I worried myself sick. Of course he was fine. I had worried myself sick for nothing. Over the years I continued to worry about a variety of things from A to Z — some realistic, some ridiculous. They say only eight per cent of our worries are realistic. And of those, we can actually only do something about half. This means ninety-six per cent of the things we worry about are a useless waste of time. Why do some people worry more than others? I have a theory that we worriers have three things in common: 1. WE NEED TO BE IN CONTROL We dictate and delegate, but then end up doing everything ourselves because everyone else does it wrong. We like to organize and compartmentalize and strategize and basically orchestrate the outcome[…]

Aug 23 2017

Adrenaline is nature’s way of keeping us safe in the face of danger. It serves a purpose, but when a traumatic experience causes you to live in a constant state of fight or flight it can wreak havoc on your life. PTSD can wreck you if you let it. We’ve all experienced that jolt of muscle quivering energy that floods our bodies during scary or stressful situations. Like when the car in front of us stops unexpectedly causing us to slam the brakes. Or when a glass slips from our hands, but we catch it before it smashes. Our hearts race, but we quickly recover and move on. But sometimes the situation is painfully serious and the recovery time is substantial. Like when your child has a medical emergency—a near fatal seizure or maybe she chokes and stops breathing. I can’t begin to describe how frightening that is. We’ve been in this horrible place a few times over the past decade. We’ve watched helplessly as our youngest lay unconscious, or unable to take a breath. Our daughter Avery’s near fatal seizures have rendered her lifeless in my arms. I’ve seen her lips turn blue. We’ve watched paramedics bring her back to[…]

Mar 07 2017

If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands. What, no clapping? Aren’t you happy?! Well, don’t let that make you sad because not many of us are consistently happy. According to the studies anyway. Science has us pegged as a sad sack of SOBs just trying to make it until cocktail hour. My daughter however, she’s perpetually happy. She gleefully claps her hands all the time for no apparent reason. It’s like a happiness explosion where her joy just can’t be contained and the sudden burst of happy claps is a way to let it out. I consider myself a very happy person, but I can’t say I feel “happiness explosion happiness” in adulthood very often. But alas, nobody is as happy as Avery. She doesn’t fit the typical mould. She doesn’t worry. She doesn’t know fear. And there’s zero hate in this kid’s world. It just doesn’t exist for her. I’d say she’s 90 per cent happy—9 per cent ‘meh’, when she’s tired or told, “No, you can’t host a play date right now.” And 1 per cent legitimate sorrow, usually when she’s missing a loved one. The rest of the time, bliss. I get the sense[…]

Nov 22 2016

Conflict turns my stomach. It makes my chest tight and uncomfortable. I feel legitimately sickened by it. I avoid arguments, and negativity, and pot stirring, and drama as best I can—not because I’m a high road walker. It’s more about self-preservation. I wasn’t kidding when I said conflict makes me sick. As a sensitive, over thinking, soft-hearted, earnestly reflective, people pleasing, peace making empath, it’s a struggle for me to let it go. Why can’t I be more like Elsa?! I take hurtful words or actions to heart. I absorb them and replay them in my mind. That’s the tricky part about being a “highly sensitive empath“. It eats me up. When friends in my life are in a bad place, I absorb it like a mushy sponge. Instead of spitting an insult back at the insulter, I swallow it. This is not to say I swallow people’s spit. Only my own. Somebody told me once that this makes me weak. So I slapped her hard across the cheek and kicked her squarely in the crotch. Okay, not really. But I really gave it to her… but only in my head. Don’t get me wrong, if you mess with one of[…]

Category - mindful

Mistakes Happen—What You Do Next Matters

When We Worry Too Much And What To Do About It

PTSD—Always There Under The Surface

Are You Happy? If Not, Why?

Dealing With Conflict—The Story Of An Empath