relationships Archives - Forever In Mom Genes

Mistakes Happen—What You Do Next Matters

Jun 29 2020

You might have the best of intentions, but you can be accidentally offensive or innocently insensitive. We’ve all done it. It’s what we do next, after the mistake or misstep, that shows who we really are. I saw this image on Instagram and wanted to share it. I traced it back to the original source—because we should always do that if we can. Giving credit where credit is due is worth a little sleuthing because creating beautiful pictures and thoughtful graphics takes work. I found the artist’s page and read what she wrote to accompany the graphic she created. I nodded in agreement with her sentiments about treating people with love and respect, and about checking our privilege and biases and just being better. Amen girl. *Posted with permission from @ARTBYBIANCAGA If I hadn’t looked for the original content, I wouldn’t have seen the author’s EDIT. In this simple addition to her post she demonstrated her commitment to listening and learning. Isn’t this what we’ve all be vowing to do? To listen and learn and change by accepting feedback with an open mind and a gracious heart? When we admit that we didn’t know what we didn’t know, we grow.[…]

Jun 29 2018

Getting invited to your high school reunion isn’t necessarily exciting. In fact, the idea of reuniting with former classmates can be downright nauseating. Not because you find your old school chums repugnant, it’s the thought of small talk and the notion of maybe not quite measuring up. I wrote a bit about the awkwardness of being a human, with examples of personal awkward moments. I mean, if you can’t laugh at your own idiotness, what’s the point? Every person, even the super confident ones, are socially awkward at times. It’s a fact. I didn’t go to my ten year high school reunion. Not because I didn’t want to, but because at 4,386.5 km away, it was a daunting trek. And not one I could easily take having just started a new job. By all accounts it was fun and there was a good turn out. But only ten years out of school, there were still egos to manage, reputations to overcome, and importance to prove. So, it was fun, but with an edge. I did make it to our twentieth. With two young children at home, I welcomed a little “mom-cation.” The atmosphere was quite relaxed. Now in our thirties,[…]

Dec 16 2016

This post isn’t intended to be political, but his electoral “win” makes me worry about my daughter’s future. He who shall not be named doesn’t even try to hide his distain for people with disabilities. It makes me wonder if her life will be more difficult because he’s giving people the message that it’s okay to be intolerant and cruel. However, there’s a kindness army rising up against hatred and discrimination. Kids are being raised to believe in equity and love and compassion. We’re surrounded by it, basking in their warmth and inclusion. My daughter’s school and neighbourhood friends treat her like the important person she is, worthy of respect and friendship. Avery’s been asking to go shopping with friends for weeks. She doesn’t actually care about buying anything. It’s about the experience. And her purse. She brings it with her on special outings. Inside you’ll find her lip balm, her pretend debit card, her (bicycle) driver’s license and a handful of coins. I drove my daughter and her two friends to our local mall to do some Christmas shopping. I tried to stay in the background to give Avery the feeling of shopping on her own with her friends like[…]

Nov 22 2016

Conflict turns my stomach. It makes my chest tight and uncomfortable. I feel legitimately sickened by it. I avoid arguments, and negativity, and pot stirring, and drama as best I can—not because I’m a high road walker. It’s more about self-preservation. I wasn’t kidding when I said conflict makes me sick. As a sensitive, over thinking, soft-hearted, earnestly reflective, people pleasing, peace making empath, it’s a struggle for me to let it go. Why can’t I be more like Elsa?! I take hurtful words or actions to heart. I absorb them and replay them in my mind. That’s the tricky part about being a “highly sensitive empath“. It eats me up. When friends in my life are in a bad place, I absorb it like a mushy sponge. Instead of spitting an insult back at the insulter, I swallow it. This is not to say I swallow people’s spit. Only my own. Somebody told me once that this makes me weak. So I slapped her hard across the cheek and kicked her squarely in the crotch. Okay, not really. But I really gave it to her… but only in my head. Don’t get me wrong, if you mess with one of[…]

May 06 2016

Anxiety is a pain. Whether we come by it genetically or situationally, it hits all of us at various times in our lives. I’ve written about my struggle with worry—as a parent of a child with a variety of medical issues, I worried about our girl a lot. I looked too far ahead and fretted about the what ifs. I couldn’t stop the catastrophizing. When you live in the past or in the future, you miss the present, and that’s where all good stuff happens. So I did the cognitive behavioural therapy exercises and it made a world of difference. Don’t get me wrong, I still have moments where I freak the hell out, but I know how to reign it in. This whole being mindful thing is a work in progress. Adults coping with anxiety is one thing, but what about children with anxiety? Watching your child worry is like being poked in the stomach with a sharp stick. I’ll unabashedly tell you about my battle with my worry monster, but sharing someone else’s story is offside. But I can say that having a sibling with disabilities can create fear and anxiety for good reason. Watching your sibling choke and[…]

Category - relationships

Mistakes Happen—What You Do Next Matters

Why You Should Go To Your High School Reunion

A Trip To The Mall That Meant So Much More

Dealing With Conflict—The Story Of An Empath

Small Kids, Big Worries