I’m A Loser Baby

“I’m a loser baby, so why don’t you kill me?” A rather dramatic song lyric don’t you think, Beck? I may be a chronic loser, but it’s no reason to snuff me out. Maybe just let me nap for awhile. I’ll even get up and make you dinner if you just look for my lost stuff while I’m sleeping. 
I can’t believe how many hours I’ve wasted searching for misplaced things, retracing my steps, looking for clues. We parents are all losers at some point. Sleep deprivation, hectic schedules and dividing our attention between spouses, bosses, children and pets… it’s no wonder we can’t keep track of our things.


Here are some of the items I’ve lost over the past few months. I actually made a list of them awhile ago but…I lost it.

  • My sunglasses. And no, they are NOT on my head. I checked.
  • My cell phone. I have to call myself several times a week to locate it. My kids think this is hilarious.
  • Family movie passes. They didn’t find this hilarious at all.
  • A library book which I found AFTER purchasing a replacement copy.
  • A deodorant stick. It came home from the store…. and then? Gone. How is this possible?
  • A birthday invitation with RSVP info. I had to stalk hunt down the party host on Linked-In.
  • Two earrings….two different earrings. Unless I get my nose or belly button pierced they’re now useless.

And this–the most ridiculous of all. Last November I got up early one morning to line up at one of those Door Crasher sales. I triumphantly snapped up the last laptop; a coveted Christmas gift for our son. I snuck it into the house and carefully hid it until Christmas. Clearly I’m excellent at hiding, but abysmal at finding because come Christmas Eve, I couldn’t find it anywhere. There were frustrated tears and colourful words muttered under my breath while I searched in vain. Christmas morning our son received a cordless mouse and an IOU from Santa explaining that the computer was on its way.

On Boxing Day I braved the crowds and to buy a new one. I bet you can guess what I found later that night? Bingo – right there in a Rubbermaid bin in the crawlspace (along with several stocking stuffers I had forgotten about). It all worked out in the end, but obviously I need more sleep, greater focus and a better system for organizing my life.

What silly things have you lost? Did you ever find them? Can you help me find my deodorant? And finally, what do you…um….wait, I lost my train of thought.

Related: Other Stuff I’ve Lost


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