My Mandate To Hydrate


Gator skin, flakey fingernails that won’t grow beyond the boundaries of their nail beds, hair resembling a wheat field at harvest time… I’m in the midst of a dry spell.

What could be missing from my daily routine that could be responsible for this desperately dry situation?

I drink at least one glass of water a day so…. oh wait. Mystery solved.

Our bodies are 70% water so I’m guessing it’s a tad important. I like water (especially with a little squeeze of lemon) so I’m at a loss as to why I’ve been avoiding it. 

I have decided to end this drought and made a plan to liquify my assets so-to-speak and came up with a Mandate to Hydrate. I vow to drink water all day, every day for a week, and then *graph my results.

The first day I may have overdone it. When my teeth started floating, I knew I had H2Overdosed.

Day Two, I sipped water sensibly throughout the day (not madly gulping tumblers-full like a college freshmen at a Kegger like Day one). By lights out I had consumed about nine glasses of water. I felt good; maybe a little bloated, but in a “my tummy sounds like a waterbed” sort of way, not in a “I drank a bottle of wine, ate a burrito the size of my head” kind of way. There’s a difference.

By Day Three I noticed a slight change in my skin—it looked less like crepe paper and more like actual human skin. Also, my energy level increased.

Other benefits include appetite suppression and a reason to get up to take a break (to fill my water glass) which gives me a little stretch and gets the circulation going. I assure you, I’m not in my nineties, it just sounds like it.

Working from home I get so absorbed in what I’m doing, I often forget to get up and move around. Many WAHMs have been found by their husbands upon returning from work, fused to their home office chairs, petrified. It’s very sad.

Something I didn’t expect was that the more water I drank, the more I wanted. Is that weird? I had myself convinced this meant I was diabetic, but then wondered if perhaps my body, now quenched, got a taste of what it had been missing and greedily hungered for more fearing the “rainy season” may end at any time. It’s a theory, but I don’t think it holds water.

Sorry. I seem to pun even more when properly hydrated.

Anyway, I’ve tasted the benefits of this mandate and I don’t plan on returning to my parched ways any time soon.

The only downside? The peeing, obviously. So much pee. If I had a flow chart I could better illustrate this point. Get it, flow chart? I’d laugh out loud, but I’m afraid I’ll pee my pants.

The tides are turning. On Day One, I saw a lot of the inside of my bathroom door (when I actually remembered to close it). By Day Seven though my body seems to be learning how to regulate the situation.

How much water do YOU drink per day? 

Feel free to join this mandate—if only to be able to say Mandate to Hydrate…it’s fun, right?

A dry sense of humour is good. Dry skin and split-endy hair? Not so good.

*The graph exists in my head only. I’m more of a “Let the results speak for themselves” kinda gal anyway.


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