Seizure Salad

Our daughter has Epilepsy. The onset was sudden (at the age of three) and the year it took to bring her life threatening seizures under control was brutal.

Now secure in the knowledge the medication is doing its job to keep the big seizures at bay, we’re able to breathe. I can even leave Avery for the night without suffering a panic attack at the theatre, spending the second act with my head between my knees.

Today, we got the latest results of her recent EEG.They were abnormal and showed moderate seizure activity in her beautiful brain. *Our neurologist says lots of children out grow seizure disorders.

I had myself convinced this would apply to Avery. I imagined the doctor shaking his head in amazement saying, “Wow. How wonderful. Generally Epilepsy doesn’t resolve this quickly.” He didn’t say any such thing.

Despite this disheartening news, there’s still a good chance she will grow out of this. God, I hope she does. I also hope the medication will continue to provide a barrier between us and those frightening seizures. They were seriously alarming.

We will just have to wait and see what happens. I hate that. Isn’t there a cosmic cheat sheet out there somewhere I can peek at? Stupid uncertainty, you suck.

So now, we carry on as normal, even though life feels just a little less normal than it did yesterday.

* I refer to Avery’s neurologist as “our” neurologist, even though the guy has never examined me. He’s not my doctor obviously but as a parent I feel my child’s pain WITH her. That sort of makes her doctor our doctor. I wonder if he can prescribe me some drugs?

The title of this post pokes fun at a friend who inadvertently referred to her caesar salad as a seizure salad during dinner together one night shortly after one of Avery’s most devastating seizures. It was one of those innocent slips that can turn an atmosphere from awesome to awkward in a nano second. She was horrified. I was not. I was merely hungry, so I stole her garlic bread.


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