Category - Stories

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The Beginning—This Is Not The Life We Ordered
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Boo Hoo, My Baby’s No Longer Two….
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Do They Have HBO in Hell?
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Oh. My. God. I’m. Tired.
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The Sweetest Birthday Boy

The Beginning—This Is Not The Life We Ordered

My husband gave me a tacky beer cozy—you know those foamy cups that insulate your bottle? “This is not the life I ordered!” was written across it in neon letters. It was a silly gag gift for an occasion I can no longer recall. When our daughter was diagnosed with the genetic disorder that would change all of our lives, I dragged out the beer cozy from a box in the basement and announced that I would be using it to hold all future beverages.  The Beginning: When our daughter was four months old we had concerns. This baby, our second child, wasn’t gaining weight, she refused to nurse or drink from a bottle, and she wasn’t achieving the milestones associated with her age. By six months we were worried. By seven months we were frantic. Our family doctor (the only medical professional who actually listened to us), was at a loss. She ordered the necessary genetic testing, and in the meantime referred us to a pediatrician who I took Avery to see several times. On the last visit, near tears, I begged him to take our concerns seriously. My husband and I knew something wasn’t right. His response to my plea for[…]

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Boo Hoo, My Baby’s No Longer Two….

Teary, Blubbery, Gloomy, Snivelly, Sappy, Sucky and Sobby The new cast of the Seven-Dwarfs? More like a perfect description of me approaching my baby girl’s 3rd birthday. Maybe I was a little grumpy or even a titch witchy? No. Not really witchy (I just used that word so I could use a photo of me as the witch from Snow White!) Really, I was more of a weepy, mush-bag. I could easily write a post wrought with emotion describing how far our little girl has come. How she’s faced obstacles and countless trips to hospitals and appointments with a smile and that giggle of hers that makes me want to laugh and cry at the same time. I could go on about how her daddy and I burst with pride every time she accomplishes a goal or does something that she was never “supposed” to be able to do. I could. But I won’t. Every parent’s child is special. Every parent bursts with pride on a daily basis. And, every parent feels sentimental on their child’s birthday. I’m no different. This year my husband, 6 year old son and our dog Roger (What? He’s totally part of the family) made[…]

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Do They Have HBO in Hell?

What do Spielberg’s Poltergeists 1, 2 and 3, White Noise starring Michael Keaton and the horror flick, The Ring all have in common? Creepy scenes involving a television! Growing up I was warned that T.V. was bad for me, but I thought that meant my eyeballs would implode if I sat too close. I had no idea that ghosts could burst out of the screen and that television was…evil. For years I ignored the warnings and lived dangerously. I watched Donny and Marie, The Love Boat and Fantasy Island. Sure, Donny and Marie’s relationship was somewhat unnatural, but it wasn’t “supernatural.” The Love Boat? Now what could be evil about an amorous ship? Maybe Doc was a little too touchy-feeling at times, but that’s not evil. Unless of course, he touched his patients inappropriately. And Fantasy Island? No wait, that show WAS evil. On so many levels. As I sprouted into a more discriminating couch potato, I enjoyed such non-evil classics as Silver Spoons, Family Ties, Growing Pains. The Wonder Years, and Roseanne. All perfectly pleasant and moral. Okay Roseanne could be foul at times, especially during that whole Tom Arnold spell, but I wouldn’t say she was evil (Though when[…]

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Oh. My. God. I’m. Tired.

Sleep deprivation and parenthood go hand and hand. I’m aware of this. But my kids are 6 and 3! Is there no end in sight to the persistent dark under eye circles, puffy lids and greyish skin tone? Not to mention the continuous state of “idiot” I seem to be in. Always forgetting where I’ve left things, trouble forming complete sentences, losing my train of um, you know, the…what was I saying? Lack of sleep turns a Yummy Mummy into a Dummy Mummy. Last night, I shut down my computer early. If you must know, my Tweetdeck crashed, so I figured the hell with it and turned in for the night. After tossing and turning for the usual hour or so, I finally drifted to sleep with soothing thoughts of how non-puffy and fresh I would be after a good night’s rest. 1:15 a.m.. The baby monitor lit up our room like a red light district. I jumped up and stumbled blindly down the hall to check on DD. Weird. She was sleeping like, well, like a baby. Back to bed. More adrenaline induced tossing and turning and then back to sleep. 2:35 a.m.. More screaming. Wailing actually and then[…]

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The Sweetest Birthday Boy

Is it just me, or does this seem like a LOT of presents?? We threw a birthday party for our 6yr old today. The weather was brilliant, nobody went missing or got injured and despite my pathetic cupcakes, the kids had a blast. We weren’t sure what to do for his party this year. Parents in our neighbourhood tend to go crazy overboard and we didn’t want to do that. Who am I kidding, we couldn’t afford it even if we wanted to. We ended up reserving the mini-soccer field behind our house. You can rent a public field from the city ($12 for 2hrs).     Hubby pitched a tent…ahem, for shade. We brought snacks and drinks, mangled cupcakes and scads of sports equipment – one of the many perks of being married to a gym teacher. My husband and his brother, also a P.E. guy organized all sorts of fun, active games. Our boy was such a great little party host. He introduced his neighbour friends to his school friends and made sure everyone felt welcome. There was only one injection of drama–an ambulance, sirens blasting went speeding toward our house while the pizza was being delivered. My[…]

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