Category - Stories

1
There Will Be Tears
2
Hard Labour Day
3
Trippin’
4
If The Shoe Fits, Wear It… Unless People Make Fun Of You
5
Rabbits, Rabbits, Rabbits
6
I Bumped My Head
7
Flowers In The (playhouse) Attic?
8
Whose Kids Are These Anyway?
9
Honestly Me
10
Tooth Fairy Meets The Elf

There Will Be Tears

Avery starts school tomorrow. Full day Junior Kindergarten, three days a week. I….am a wreck.  Many kind people have reached out to tell me, “It’s ok. It gets easier. She’ll love it. You’ll be fine.” All thoughtful and well-meaning comments. And it’s true, she will love it. And she will be fine. But will I? And will it really get easier? I felt the usual pangs and sentimental sorrow on my son’s first day of Kindergarten four years ago.  But it got easier, fast. But he didn’t stand out from his peers in a blatant and painfully awkward way. I didn’t have to meet with the school to discuss emergency procedures and ambulance protocol. He didn’t have to wear a helmet at recess to protect his curly haired head from frequent falls on the unforgiving blacktop. He didn’t have his own personal Educational Assistant shadowing his every move to ensure his safety. He didn’t wear a diaper. He didn’t receive quizzical looks from his peers or other parents. He was happy. He fit in. I didn’t worry. But this is different. Now I worry. All the time. A lot. We never thought we would see this day. Avery was never[…]

Read More

Hard Labour Day

  This Labour Day weekend has been ripe with nothing but…hard labour – housework, grocery shopping, banking and more housework. I enjoy filing and making lists, sorting items into neat little baskets and arranging books by size. My kids’ closets contain labelled bins and clothes arranged by type and colour. Whenever I’m stressed, I open their closet doors and stare. The order of it all soothes me. That’s not normal is it? I guess they don’t tack “freak” to the end of neat for nothing. Being neat however, is not the same as being clean. Beyond the colour coded folders lay epic dust balls and sticky floors. Lately my attention to housekeeping basics has declined. The combination of a busy schedule, a potty training toddler and fatigue has taken its toll. It’s bad, but not this bad –> “Please Excuse the Mess” Yesterday as I vacuumed and dusted and sorted and mopped, I noticed my seven year old following behind me. “Are we having a party tonight?” He asked. “No” I replied. He thought for a minute and said, “I just wondered because this (cleaning) isn’t something you usually do.” Busted. This fall, I vow to have the cleanest house[…]

Read More

Trippin’

  I love everything about traveling; the logistics and planning ahead, stumbling upon something new and unexpected, exploring the unknown. I used to travel a lot in my single days. It was carefree and liberating. Those days seem to be over now. At least until our children are older. Taking a trip with kids is a lot different than traveling solo. There’s a whole new set of concerns and elements to consider. As we drove along the highway this summer on our family vacation, I had time to reflect (thank god for dvd players and stacks of Disney movies) about my favourite trip of all. It was an experience that both terrified and thrilled me. It was one of those soul changing, life shaping adventures that you never forget. This post is more of a personal scrapbook page than an actual blog entry, so please excuse the indulgence. I wanted to preserve some of my favourite pictures online…just in case. As I was looking through my old travel albums, I came across a poem I wrote. It’s corny and an amateur effort, but it makes me smile. Here it is….with pictures. Oh What A Long Strange Trip It’s Been ~[…]

Read More

If The Shoe Fits, Wear It… Unless People Make Fun Of You

Despite what you may have heard, I love shoes. There was a time way back in the day when I wore stylish heels, strappy sandals and cool Espadrilles. These aren’t so bad, are they? My chiropractor thinks they’re hot.   Then I left my job and stayed home to care for our daughter. Heels gave way to flip flops and Birkenstoks. Gotta love a birk…the way they mold to my feet, even with socks (only around the house, I swear) they’re like a second, tougher, more hippy lovin’ skin. I love them to my very sole/soul. And listen here shoe divas with your stilettos and killer calves, it’s sad that you will never know the pedial joy of Croc flip flops.  I also love my Uggs. Both pairs. I give my Uggs huggs whenever I’m feeling blue. What can I say? I’m a sucker for comfort. Though I admit after witnessing ladies who rock their hot heels, I wonder if I should give more consideration to the image my shoes project? I’m just not convinced that foot fashion is worth the price of swollen, blistered, achy feet. While doing some serious sole searching (Literally. I can’t find my other Ugg slipper[…]

Read More

Rabbits, Rabbits, Rabbits

No, I’m not reciting the rhyme that is supposed to ward off campfire smoke. I’m literally saying there are rabbits, rabbits, rabbits EVERYWHERE this summer. Back yard, front yard, side yard, boulevard…there are herds of marauding fuzzy bunnies everywhere. They’ve been grazing on our lawn, which I don’t mind. I’d like it more if they’d focus on eating the weeds. So far they’ve stayed out of my garden, but that’s probably due to the fact that I’m a horrible gardener surrounded by excellent gardeners. These bunnies are well fed. And they’re BIG. And plump. I wonder if any of my neighbours have ever trapped one? Maybe roasted it or put it on a spit? Eww. You’d have to skin it first though, right? How disgusting would that be? Remember that movie “When Rabbit Howls” starring Shelley Long? And why do I even know that? It’s odd I can remember who starred in a 20 year old made for t.v. film, but I can’t remember where I left my car keys (that’s not a metaphor by the way. My keys have been missing for three days). Anyway, if a neighbour had skinned a rabbit I suppose we’d have heard some kind[…]

Read More

I Bumped My Head

Today DS came home with this sticker stuck to his shirt. With my trip to Vegas coming up, I’m thinking I should ask the school for a few to take along with me. Kidding (mostly). The safety policies and procedures at our local school are outstanding. (I say this both as a parent and as a teacher). With Avery going to the same school next fall I can only say….PHEW. When DS bumped his head on the playground, he was examined, I was notified by phone and he was “stickered” so everyone in the school and at home would be on the lookout for any unusual behaviour. Frankly, I’m surprised his actual head even made contact with the ground. Did I mention it was Crazy Hair Day?

Read More

Flowers In The (playhouse) Attic?

  I love my brother. Not in a Flowers in the Attic sort of way, but a… Iamsoluckytohavesuchanamazingsibling kind of way. A few weeks ago my brother Michael and my niece and nephew came to stay with us during American spring break. I said it then and I’ll say it again, “BEST…VACATION…EVER” said oh so sarcastically. I am so sorry little bro. I truly wanted to show you a good time. Instead I ended up showing you the hectic hell that life in this house can sometimes be. Avery’s seizures started up again a few days after Mike and the kids got here and she had at least one every day while they were here. I was a bit of a wreck and took helicopter parenting to a new high. Also during their stay my dad was “packaged out” of his job (which turned out the be a GREAT thing. Early retirement couldn’t have happened to a more deserving guy. Love you dad), Mike got sick, my nephew sprained his ankle and I basically had a nervous breakdown. Goooooood times all around. So, they left for home a few days early. I can’t imagine why. I think I heard their tires screeching as[…]

Read More

Whose Kids Are These Anyway?

  Your children have the power to make you weep with joy and puff with pride. They also have the power to embarrass you beyond belief. Last week my daughter had an appointment with her cardiologist; a very nice man whose office Avery mistook for a playground. She was a holy terror opening drawers and slamming doors. The only way I could concentrate on what the doctor was saying was to hold her, bouncing her on my hip. This tactic did the trick until she decided to investigate down my top. Maintaining a serious conversation while a third party has a sticky hand wedged in your cleavage is challenging. Without warning my daughter grabbed my shirt and bra in an iron-like grasp and pulled them both swiftly to the side, giving the doctor an eyeful. I’m sure only look out of professional interest as the left side of my chest was exposed, which everyone knows is where the heart is located. I basically died. On our next outing we popped into the mall to check out the new spring fashions. While I was ogling a pretty floral skirt, Avery who was strapped into her stroller, reached out to fondle a[…]

Read More

Honestly Me

Here are ten honest things about me… in no particular order 1. I’m sarcastic. Sometimes too much so. What? Like I’m the ONLY one? (See?) 2. My top left front tooth is a fakity, fake, fake. 3. I f*cking curse far more than a lady should. 4. I always imagined having three children. After Avery however, I chickened out. I sometimes mourn the baby that will never be. 5. I can’t do an accent of any kind to save my life, although to the chagrin of those in ear shot, I continue to try. 6. I have to say, “Drive safely” to anyone leaving my house AND I must blow a stray eyelash off my cheek while making a wish or something bad will happen. It’s exhausting controlling the fate of others let me tell you. 7. I like to be the one “in charge” at all times (number 6 makes more sense now doesn’t it?). It’s probably why I loved being a teacher. The teacher is always in charge. 8. I need a chemical peel on the backs of my hands. Why didn’t I slap on some sunscreen back in the day? Damn hindsight. Now I’m cursed with seventy[…]

Read More

Tooth Fairy Meets The Elf

Have you heard of the Elf on the Shelf? An elf is sent from the North Pole to keep an eye on the children of the house and report back to Santa. Currently we have an elfin house guest named “Quacky” (don’t ask…his name is a stupid story within a stupid story) living with us. Every night our son tucks Quacky into the little bed he made for him in his bookcase. Each morning, he wakes to discover the elf is missing. When the family is asleep, this inanimate elf becomes “real”. He sneaks out of bed and gets into all sorts of mischief. He also uses the phone to call Santa…long distance. Occasionally he uses my computer to shoot Santa an email update (I’m not sure, but I think he has also been logging onto some nasty elf porn sites). We are having a hoot moving the elf around the house and staging him in different scenarios before we go to bed (don’t you just LOVE the legit lies we’re encouraged to tell our children around the holidays?). The other night my husband and I were killing ourselves laughing at some of the completely inappropriate situations we thought about[…]

Read More

All images and text are copyright © 2019 Forever In Mom Genes