Archive - November 2013

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Morning has broken…my spirit
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Possibly The Most Frightening Toy Review Ever
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When Your Child Chokes
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Chimichurri Garlic Bread
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Skinny Pig Doppleganger

Morning has broken…my spirit

  Sweet photo, right? Big brother helping his little sister with her homework while mum makes a nutritious breakfast. Yes, he’s helping his sister with her math. He’s trying, he really is and god love his sweet heart for that. But mere seconds after this photo was taken, little sister backhanded her doting brother in the face shouting, “I do it myself ‘Bastiannnnnnnnnnnn-nah!” As for the nutritious breakfast? I haven’t been grocery shopping in awhile and had to mix two kinds of cereal together to make enough. And we were out of milk so I thinned yogurt with water and hoped it would pass for milk. They’d be too busy complaining about the bruised bits in the mashed banana to really notice the milk anyway. After asking my daughter to get out from under the table, stop touching the dogs and to finish her breakfast about a dozen times, I put my face in my hands and admitted silently that mornings are not my favourite time of day. I knew what I should do. I NEEDED to sit down at the table with the kids. Avery wanted my attention. Any good parent could see that. However, I am not always[…]

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Possibly The Most Frightening Toy Review Ever

  It took me YEARS to get over The Blair Witch Project and don’t even get me started on the emotional scars inflicted by Paranormal Activity. I actually don’t mind the “during” part of these frightening flicks — it’s the movie aftermath that causes the problem — bumps in the night + an overactive imagination = a terrified me My girlfriends and I considered renting The Conjuring recently. Didn’t happen. The trailer alone scared me silly. Those “based on a true story” movies are THE worst. If you dare, watch the trailer below and you’ll see what I mean. There’s a scene where the mother is blindfolded, playing hide and seek with her daughter — she asks her child to clap as a clue to her hiding place. She hears a clap alright, but it’s not her daughter. It’s, it’s….who in the hellraiser knows?! Clearly there was something evil in that house and it had me running scared.  Explaining the premise of the movie to my husband, I imitated the freaky “clap, clap.” This would come back to haunt me later in the shape of a tiny blonde girl who sees and hears all… *Watch how I seamlessly switch from[…]

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When Your Child Chokes

  Not all parents of children who have a disability of some kind obsess. Admittedly, I do. I struggle to tame the worries that invade my thoughts and I tend to hover over my daughter. (Think helicopter blades whirling furiously over head, bubble wrap dispenser on the ready.) My child has global development delays, speech and gross motor issues, and seizures. Despite her diagnosis she has made incredible progress. For a child who doctors said may never walk or talk, she is doing both — in your face, science. Our girl is no longer a baby. She is active and bold and curious. To deny her independence and the chance to explore would be cruel, so I hold my breath and let her go. Up the stairs by herself; higher on the swings; in the pool, close by, but liberated from her water wings. As it is for any child, loosening their reins allows them to reach further. So despite my racing heart, I’m trying to give her space to grow. My other child, Avery’s big brother, laughs when I remind him to chew his food. To him, grapes are juicy mouthfuls. To me they are ominous orbs of imminent choking. I’m not completely insane though — I stopped cutting[…]

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Chimichurri Garlic Bread

  Hello chimichurri sauce. Where have you been all my life? We first met at a restaurant and you had me at the first savoury mouthful. Then I made you at home and put you on my chicken breasts. (That sounds wrong somehow, but at least I didn’t say pork loins!). Then I spread you on a warm loaf of garlic bread and introduced you to my girlfriends at Games Night. You made us swoon. You’re one little hottie of an appetizer, but it’s also possible that I got slightly carried away with the red chili pepper flakes… Chimichurri Garlic Bread Ingredients: garlic bread loaf, homemade or store bought 2 cups fresh parsley and/or cilantro 6 cloves of garlic (more or less depending on how garlicky you like it) 1/4 of a small red onion 1/2 cup olive oil splash of red wine vinegar (optional) 1 tablespoon lime or lemon juice kosher salt  red chili pepper flakes, to taste diced fresh tomato 1 ripe avocado, cubed Method: Pulse garlic and onion in food processor until finely chopped.  Add parsley and/or cilantro, and pulse briefly.  Transfer to a mixing bowl and add the olive oil, lime/lemon juice, vinegar and stir.   Season[…]

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Skinny Pig Doppleganger

I’m in love with my son’s Skinny Pig Ernie. Ernie may be ugly to some of you. Okay, to any of you who have seen a photo of him or met him in person. I know this because you’ve said things like, “Dear god he’s ugly.” Or “Wow. What the hell IS that?!” And, “You have a walking penis for a pet.”  And this. Which made me laugh uproariously.  “Why the heck would you get an animal who doesn’t have fur?” somebody else asked. “He’s disgusting.” He may be “hair challenged” but he’s certainly not disgusting. He’s friendly and he loves to snuggle. And even without much hair, he’s baby soft. He’s like holding a warm peach with toenails. Ernie is the perfect fit for our family. We get “different.” And why did we name him Ernie? His namesake is my Grandpa Ernie. Ninety-four years old, he’s a force of nature. He lives on his own and until a recent foot infection, he did his own shopping, cooked his own meals and took care of his house. He’s witty and sharp and completely with it. Ninety-four. A few years ago he decided he’d try growing a gotee, just to switch[…]

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