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Disabilities Are Not “Special Needs”

Mar 21 2017

It’s taken a decade of research into genetics and specific diseases and disabilities for me to gain even a fraction of understanding of my daughter’s syndrome. I still have no idea what I’m doing half the time. And I make plenty of mistakes. Case in point—until recently I didn’t even realize that the label “special needs” was outdated and unacceptable. I’m immersed in this community, yet I was unaware. And if missed this, maybe you did too? I’m not easily offended. I curse, I make gross jokes. I try not to take what people say too seriously and I try to cut people some slack when they say the wrong thing. We all slip up. Words don’t tell the whole story. Our actions and intentions define who we are. But, when we are told point-blank that something is offensive, we should pay attention. Isn’t it our responsibility as compassionate citizens to do no harm whenever possible? And seriously, updating our vocabulary costs us nothing. Let’s take the r-word for example. I’ve written about it quite a bit over the years. The word itself is harmless. It means late or delayed. When used appropriately, it should cause no harm. But it does.[…]

Mar 07 2017

If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands. What, no clapping? Aren’t you happy?! Well, don’t let that make you sad because not many of us are consistently happy. According to the studies anyway. Science has us pegged as a sad sack of SOBs just trying to make it until cocktail hour. My daughter however, she’s perpetually happy. She gleefully claps her hands all the time for no apparent reason. It’s like a happiness explosion where her joy just can’t be contained and the sudden burst of happy claps is a way to let it out. I consider myself a very happy person, but I can’t say I feel “happiness explosion happiness” in adulthood very often. But alas, nobody is as happy as Avery. She doesn’t fit the typical mould. She doesn’t worry. She doesn’t know fear. And there’s zero hate in this kid’s world. It just doesn’t exist for her. I’d say she’s 90 per cent happy—9 per cent ‘meh’, when she’s tired or told, “No, you can’t host a play date right now.” And 1 per cent legitimate sorrow, usually when she’s missing a loved one. The rest of the time, bliss. I get the sense[…]

Feb 19 2017

Here are a few quotes about parenting that never fail to deliver a ray of sunshine on the difficult days. Feel free to leave a comment with a favourite quote that inspires you. 1. “Motherhood is about raising and celebrating the child you have, not the child you thought you would have. It’s about understanding that they are exactly the person they are supposed to be and that, if you’re lucky, they just might be the teacher who turns you into the person you are supposed to be.” ~ Joan Ryan 2. “One of the great things that any community can do is not teach tolerance, but live tolerance, not talk respect, but live inclusivity.” ~ Michael Pritchard 3. “The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.” ~ Helen Keller 4. Don’t focus on what she can’t do. Focus on what she can do. Like a boss. ~ Lisa Thornbury 5. “Parents of children with special needs create their own world of happiness and believe in things that others cannot yet see.” ~Unknown 6. “Sometimes the things we can’t change end up changing us.” ~ Unknown 7. “Listen[…]

Dec 16 2016

This post isn’t intended to be political, but his electoral “win” makes me worry about my daughter’s future. He who shall not be named doesn’t even try to hide his distain for people with disabilities. It makes me wonder if her life will be more difficult because he’s giving people the message that it’s okay to be intolerant and cruel. However, there’s a kindness army rising up against hatred and discrimination. Kids are being raised to believe in equity and love and compassion. We’re surrounded by it, basking in their warmth and inclusion. My daughter’s school and neighbourhood friends treat her like the important person she is, worthy of respect and friendship. Avery’s been asking to go shopping with friends for weeks. She doesn’t actually care about buying anything. It’s about the experience. And her purse. She brings it with her on special outings. Inside you’ll find her lip balm, her pretend debit card, her (bicycle) driver’s license and a handful of coins. I drove my daughter and her two friends to our local mall to do some Christmas shopping. I tried to stay in the background to give Avery the feeling of shopping on her own with her friends like[…]

Dec 06 2016

What do exhausted, stressed out parents really want? What’s an age appropriate gift for a child with autism? Is there an inexpensive toy suitable for a child with fine motor delays? Can certain games help with speech and language development and if so, are they actually fun? All good questions I’ll try to answer below—my merry gift to you this retail festive season. Parents, especially those parenting a child with special needs, rarely take the time to pamper themselves. The holidays are a perfect opportunity for you to gift them something that forces them to take a moment. Yes, I said “force them.” I know this from experience. #stubborn Presents To Pamper Parents: Special parents can be painfully practical. Since we’re often at a loss for time, practical and useful is always appreciated. Practical Presents for Parents: Sometimes it’s hard to know what to buy for a child with physical or developmental needs. When in doubt, ask the parents what might be appropriate. Here are a few ideas. Gifts for Kids With Cognitive, Motor, and/or Speech Delays: Happy gift giving! Feel free to message me any time[…]

Disabilities Are Not “Special Needs”

Are You Happy? If Not, Why?

25 Quotes About Parenting A Child With Disabilities

A Trip To The Mall That Meant So Much More

Special Gifts For Special Families