Category: humour
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Dicknose
Eons ago on a date with a new boyfriend, we took his three year old nephew to the park. I was anxious to demonstrate my maternal side, so I pushed the little tyke on the swings, chased him enthusiastically through the grass, climbed the play structure with him and carried him piggy back style…
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Feeling Saucy
In the past two weeks, my baby girl flew the coop and flocked off to Kindergarten, I went on an adventure to the Big Apple, and dipped one toe back into the teaching pool… All good things, but I’m left feeling a little worn out. And when I’m tired I do moronic things. Much to…
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If The Shoe Fits, Wear It… Unless People Make Fun Of You
Despite what you may have heard, I love shoes. There was a time way back in the day when I wore stylish heels, strappy sandals and cool Espadrilles. These aren’t so bad, are they? My chiropractor thinks they’re hot. Then I left my job and stayed home to care for our daughter. Heels gave…
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That’s A Funny Way To Eat A Sand-Wedge
I went to see my family doctor last week for my annual exam. I had hoped to leave the three year old at home but alas, my husband was golfing, leaving me on my own to deal with a speculum and a curious toddler. I’m sure I’m not the first to tell this tale;…
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Here, Have A Cupcake or Ten
You know the unspoken rule, “Choose ugly friends and end up looking great by comparison.” Well, I obviously forgot this golden rule because my girlfriends are stupidly good looking. Fit, well dressed, dewy skinned, shiny haired bitches. All of them. How can I possibly hope to be the centre of attention with them getting in…