humour Archives - Page 14 of 18 - Forever In Mom Genes

Pink Eye

Aug 16 2011

I took a photo of my eyes a few weeks ago in all their teary, weepy, oozy pinkness. I had a bad case of conjunctivitis. I planned on posting the picture with info about the “dos and don’ts of eye infections.” However, it cleared up and I deleted the repulsive pic. You’re welcome. So guess what returned this morning? Pink Eye has reared its crusty head once again. The unfortunate victim this time around? My brown eyed boy. Make that, my brown and pink eyed boy. This morning he woke with one lid sealed shut. I had him lie on the couch with a warm cloth over his eye to loose things up. I left the room to grab the drops and in the meantime, Avery nicked the cloth from her defenceless, half blind brother and put the diseased cloth over HER eyes! She was moaning and making all kinds of dramatic, “whoa is me” gestures. Apparently she wanted a little of the attention her brother was receiving. Well little girl, it’s very likely you’ll be receiving more than that. In about 24 hours, I’ll have two brown and pink eyed children on my hands (speaking of hands, they should[…]

Aug 14 2011

We’re all subjected to the sting of embarrassment. We may flounder amid an awkward silence or flush in the face of a social slip up. It happens. It seems to happen to me a lot. I have a knack for saying the wrong thing—a joke falls flat or I call someone by the incorrect name (turns out I’ve been calling my neighbour Leanne for over a year. Her name is not Leanne). I’m quite skilled at plunging feet first into graceless situations; falling off curbs, walking into sign posts, exposing body parts or food wedged between teeth. I bring these blunderments upon myself. I often half pay attention in social situations and it bites me in the butt. From forgetting names to joining in and laughing at an inappropriate part of a conversation. It’s not that I’m disinterested. I’m just easily distracted. I’m a poor multi-tasker. I end up doing too many things at once and my focus becomes fuzzy, resulting in a multitude of clumsy missteps. Updating my Linked-In account tonight (while talking on the phone, cropping photos and chatting on Twitter) I inadvertently sent out an invitation to EVERY SINGLE PERSON on[…]

Jul 14 2011

At the end of the school year, our family went to the annual Fun Fair. It was the usual fair fare; games, cotton candy, raffles, a bouncy castle. There was also an inflatable tunnel. My child handed over his ticket, went in, crawled around and eventually attempted to exit. He got stuck. Somebody had to pull him out. Feet first. And suddenly, I was transported back eight years. Oh yes, it was all coming back to me in excruciating detail. Though, I don’t recall spectators or buying tickets.

Apr 16 2011

I haven’t exactly been sticking to the training schedule for the 10 km race my husband and I signed up for. Correction: HE signed us up for. Seriously, why is running (unless you’re late for a spa appointment or being chased by an angry squirrel) ever necessary?? Oh right. My butt. That’s why. * Artist: DS

Jan 04 2011

I’m busy. So very busy. I can’t believe how busy I am. And he’s so busy. And she’s too busy. And don’t even bother with them, they’re really quite busy. And things aren’t going to suddenly get less busy. Unless you become incarcerated. Or you slip into a coma. Work, kids, activities, social engagements, chores, errands, the pursuit of happiness–these things take time and we get busy and yes, there’s gettin’ busy, which also requires time. A little anyway. Hi honey. I often ask incredulously, “How is it possible that I’m SO busy? I work from home, part-time.” The fact is, life is as busy as it we allow it to become. That’s deep. I need to italicize that. Having a full and active life isn’t a bad thing. But, when it causes you to shirk certain responsibilities like calling your ninety year old grandpa on a regular basis or to let important relationships slide, busy becomes a four letter word. We can always find time to surf the net, watch a movie, get our hair done. We’re not too busy for those things. So when we tell someone we’re too busy to see them, to call them, to check[…]

Category - humour

Pink Eye

Linked In Shame

Happy Birthing Day

Gotta Run

BUSY is The New Four Letter Word?