Rabbits, Rabbits, Rabbits

No, I’m not reciting the rhyme that is supposed to ward off campfire smoke. I’m literally saying there are rabbits, rabbits, rabbits EVERYWHERE this summer. Back yard, front yard, side yard, boulevard…there are herds of marauding fuzzy bunnies everywhere.

They’ve been grazing on our lawn, which I don’t mind. I’d like it more if they’d focus on eating the weeds. So far they’ve stayed out of my garden, but that’s probably due to the fact that I’m a horrible gardener surrounded by excellent gardeners. These bunnies are well fed. And they’re BIG. And plump. I wonder if any of my neighbours have ever trapped one? Maybe roasted it or put it on a spit? Eww. You’d have to skin it first though, right? How disgusting would that be? Remember that movie “When Rabbit Howls” starring Shelley Long? And why do I even know that? It’s odd I can remember who starred in a 20 year old made for t.v. film, but I can’t remember where I left my car keys (that’s not a metaphor by the way. My keys have been missing for three days).

Anyway, if a neighbour had skinned a rabbit I suppose we’d have heard some kind of howling. If I did live next to somebody who skinned a rabbit, I’d have no choice but to move. I can’t even look at rabbits in the meat department at the grocery store. Trapped under plastic wrap, decapitated, hairless bunnies. The horror. Chickens aren’t as recognizable as animals as they’re generally sold in pieces. And ground meat. You can pretty much convince yourself the product was never really an animal at all.

I used to be a vegetarian. For ten years I didn’t eat anything with a face. Then when I was pregnant for the first time, I craved red meat so desperately that I forced my husband to drive me to the Keg where I ingested an obscenely large steak…and then finished his.

Today, my family proudly goes by the label of “Flexitarian” or “Veganish.” This means we eat meat, eggs or dairy occasionally. Organic whenever possible (though holy cow, it’s expensive). I’ll come clean and admit we did have burgers two nights this week, and chicken kabobs tonight and salmon linguine is on the menu for tomorrow night. So basically we suck as Flexitarians.

At least we’re not eating rabbits, rabbits, rabbits. 

*My son would like me to add that his parents suck. He does not. He’s a true vegetarian who hasn’t eaten an animal in years. 

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