Tooth Fairy Meets The Elf

Whatever genius thought of the Elf On The Shelf is ho, ho, ho-ing all the way to the bank. In case you’re unaware, the elf is sent from the North Pole to keep an eye on the children of the house and report back to Santa. Currently we have an elfin house guest named “Quacky” (don’t ask…his name is a stupid story within a stupid story) living with us.

Every night our son tucks Quacky into the little bed he made for him in his bookcase. Each morning, he wakes to discover the elf is missing. When the family is asleep, this inanimate elf becomes “real.” He sneaks out of bed and gets into all sorts of mischief. He also uses the phone to call Santa…long distance. Occasionally he uses my computer to shoot Santa an email update. (I’m not sure, but I think he has also been logging onto some nasty elf porn sites.)

We are having a blast moving the elf around the house and staging him in different scenarios before we go to bed (don’t you just LOVE the legit lies we’re encouraged to tell our children around the holidays?). The other night my husband and I were laughing our heads off at some of the completely inappropriate situations we thought about leaving the elf in. I won’t subject you to our immaturity, but we came up with some doozies! Some might even be illegal. (If we get arrested, please send a file to jail hidden in a fruit cake.)

Last week our son lost his tooth. Literally. It fell out in the family room before bed and we could NOT find it anywhere.

Finally, after moving the couch, we spotted a little white speck. How it got behind the couch…? That must been a pretty forceful tooth expulsion. 

We did the usual oohing and ahhing and documenting on the calendar and phoning of the grandparents to share the milestone news, and then…it was time for our toothless child to tuck the elf in for the night. At that point I noticed our son’s worried face. I asked him what was wrong. He said, and I quote, “Oh man. I don’t have a good feeling about this. An elf and the Tooth Fairy, in the same room? This can’t be good.”

I put on my most serious and concerned face and assured him that elves and fairies are on friendly terms. There would be no turf war of any kind.

However, in the morning the elf had been the victim of a toilet papering prank and his bed had been short sheeted.

Damn fairies.

My god I love Christmas.


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