Archive - December 2014

1
Oh Man…She Loves Her Barbie Van!
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The Two Most Important Things In The World
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Independence: Aisle 4
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Really Kevin??

The Two Most Important Things In The World

Avery and I have been home all week. Some random virus latched onto Avery and wouldn’t let go. And because I basically wear my child like a sweater (she likes to be close), I was an inevitable casualty of germ warfare. Cuddling in bed with a sweet little kid, watching Barbie on repeat, drifting in and out of sleep, isn’t the worst thing. Though I could do without this wretched phlegmy cough. I swear I busted a rib hacking up something that shall not be named. It’s clear to me now that I need to kick up my health regime. I have a responsibility to myself and to my family. So January, you and I have a date with a little something called, “Get up off your ass you sickly excuse making carb hogging not enough water drinking allergic to exercise blob.” Until then, I’m resting. And drinking lots of water. And slathering myself in Vicks Vaporub. I’m ashamed of myself for putting my health last. By ignoring the signs that I was getting run down, I allowed this to happen. And because I’m ill, I was unable to make the trip home to be with my family during a[…]

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Independence: Aisle 4

Just look at the joy on this child’s face. She LIVES to shop, but the poor kid is saddled with a mother who detests shopping. However, I have to wear clothes (in public anyway) and feed my family, so shopping is a necessary chore. I’ve tried pawning it off on my spouse, but he can’t shop himself out of a paper (or plastic, or cloth reusable) bag. I sent him to the grocery store one morning for apple juice, bread, and milk and he came home with grapefruit juice (what kid drinks grapefruit juice??), bagels, almond milk, and a pie. Close, but yet so frightfully far. I’m coming to embrace the whole grocery delivery thing. I fought against it at first, concerned it would it cost more. Turns out I spend less since I don’t end up with $50 worth of impulse purchased potato chips, too good to pass up deals, and whatever else I might have a craving for in the moment. When I’m organized and on the ball, I plan ahead and get groceries delivered. Other times, I hit the supermarket so Avery can revel in her shopping happy place. She and I both push our own carts.[…]

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Really Kevin??

I’ve never had a cat, so I’m reaching out to any cat people out there for some clarification. Is it normal for a cat to stand boldly on a stove-top…repeatedly, even after sauteing his paws several times?! You know how toddlers think if they can’t see you, you can’t see them? I can totally see you Kevin. Though he has a beautiful plush bed equip with a dangly toy and cushy pillow, he prefers to stuff himself into baskets. Normal, right? Orange fuzzy kitten scarf!!! One size fits all! Order yours on Etsy. Do all cats have such a lax work ethic? On his application he said he’s interested in computers. Liar, liar, paws on fire. He doesn’t know a CPU from a CPmew. He’s only interested in playing with the mouse! Ask him to take a message and he writes, “Dec. 4th: catnipcatnipcatnipcatnipcatnipcatnipcatnip” Cheeky cat. Lazy or just really, really, really relaxed?? I was told to keep a cat off the counter, spray him with water. We tried it. He seemed to enjoy the light misting. Then I tried splashing him with water from this yellow bowl. Here’s Kevin ON THE COUNTER drinking from the “scary” yellow bowl. Know[…]

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