Here Comes The Bride?

This girl is a perfect mix of sporty spice and Barbie Girl. She’s equally happy climbing trees and examining bugs or shopping for “bootiful” dresses and experimenting with clip-on earrings and pink nail polish. But lately she’s been decidedly more girly, obsessed with fru-fru frilly and smitten with wedding gowns.

(This video snippet is Avery wearing her cousin’s bridesmaid gown…like a boss.)

The matrimonial fascination started shortly after my cousin Kelsey announced that she’s getting married. When Avery heard this exciting news she wanted to know who was going to the party and would there be cake and what will her dress look like?!

To add to the wedding whimsy we watched a video of my cousin Allison’s wedding. Avery watched intently, admiring the beautiful wedding gown, the flowers, the dancing. She was mesmerized. On the car ride home so told us she would be getting married. “Who are you going to marry?” I asked her. “My brother Bastian,” she answered with absolute certainty.

I get why she’d want to marry him—he’s sweet and funny and he makes a mean bowl of mac and cheese. He’s a catch.

“You can’t marry your brother,” I told her. “He’s already part of your family. You marry somebody to make them a new part of your family.”

She pondered that for a moment and then proclaimed that she would marry her dad. Clearly this concept will require further discussion.

“I don’t know who I be marrying,” she said in a frustrated huff after I broke the news that she can’t marry her dad, or me, or any of our pets. “Maybe Cooper?” she asked after some thought. Now she was on the right track. Cooper is my friend’s adorable son. Avery loves that he likes to run and climb and swing from monkey bars and isn’t afraid to get his hands (and entire body for the matter) dirty. Clearly soul mates. For now.

My dearest cutie girl, I hope with all my heart that one day you will find a partner who loves you as much as we do. You have so much love in your heart, it seems right that one day you’ll find a soulmate to share it with.

But when I really think about it—the realities, the challenges, the logistics—it doesn’t seem easy or if I’m being honest, possible.

And then something like this comes along—this beautiful story about a young woman who marries her love. If you have a minute to read “To My Daughter With Downs Syndrome On Her Wedding Day” you won’t regret the time spent.

I cried three sentences in. Not because the bride is beautiful (and she is), or because weddings always make me weepy, or because the story is a message of hope for my own daughter.

No, I cried mostly because of the look on her parents’ faces. Their daughter was experiencing something that perhaps they thought she never would. Their pride is evident as their hearts are clearly exploding with joy for their little girl. She found happiness and independence and love.

Does my daughter necessarily have to get married to find happiness? Of course not. Absolutely not. But if she wants it and wishes for it and one day finds it in somebody to share her life and love with, how lovely would that be?

Related: I wrote this over on my other blog—some wonderings and worries (I know. I need to get a grip on on all of that.) about will she or won’t she get to be a mom?

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