Loom Lemmings


If you have children within the ages of 4 and 14 you’ve heard of the Rainbow Loom. In fact, you’ve probably gone out with the throngs of other zombie-like parents to buy one and you now have a little sweatshop in your home where your children are pumping out bracelets by the dozens.

How many elastic bracelets does one need anyway? Apparently a lot. In every possible colour combination.

The story of the Rainbow Loom is an interesting — why the hell didn’t I think of it?! — kind of tale. Choon Ng, the toy’s inventor and the dude who came up with Silly Bands are laughing their way to the bank right now. And if you try to mock them, it won’t work because they’re rubber and you’re glue and whatever you say bounces off them and sticks to you.

I was oblivious to this new craft craze until my daughter started coming home with dozens of colourful fishtailed bracelets up her arm.

“My friends made them for me!” she told me proudly. I asked my son about it and he filled me on this latest must-have toy fad sweeping the nation.

So what did I do? I followed the trail of other parents to the toy store to buy my children a loom. Why? Because I wouldn’t want my kids to be left out of a trend enjoyed by seemingly every other child in the world. I guess this makes me some kind of loom lemming.

This fact makes me feel both maternally proud and embarrassingly horrified.

Here Are Seven Lessons I Learned From The Loom:

1. If there’s a bandwagon passing by, I will jump on it.
2. Parents will buy pretty much anything for their offspring if they possibly can.
3. The loom’s appeal lasts for about two days (well, in MY house anyway).
4. What I thought might be a great exercise to help develop my daughter’s fine motor skills turned out to be an exercise in frustration.
5. There are now elastics ALL OVER MY HOUSE.
6. I will never ever need to buy another hair elastic in my entire life.
7. You can buy and add beads and charms. YOU can. I’m not buying anything.

*Bonus fact: When I was six years old a neighbour kid shot me between the eyes with an elastic. 


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