2015 - Page 10 of 10 - Forever In Mom Genes

A Soft Place To Land—A Story About Friendship

Jan 23 2015

I’m not calling my friends soft but, they are. Not in a doughy “Gym? What gym?” kind of way. But in a gentle, comforting, curl up in their bosom and nestle, kind of way. Not that I curl up in their bosoms. There is absolutely no bosom nestling going on. Except for that one time at that Christmas party and it was completely innocent. Life is stressful these days. Like REALLY stressful. I have no idea why, it just is. Maybe it’s because a lot of serious stuff goes on “mid life.” Good god, we’re middle aged. I’m just going to go ahead and glaze over that statement. The pace seems to have picked up. There’s always somewhere I need to be and something I’m scrambling to catch up on. I don’t get to see my friends as much as I’d like. Mostly it’s a quickie phone call here, a funny text there. Like I said, we mid-lifers have commitments and responsibilities out the whazoo. However… If I should need a friend, I have only to reach out with a faint whimper, and as if by bat echolocation or some kind of emotional ESP, they are there—with wine and wisdom and[…]

Jan 22 2015

Conversations like these with my eight-year-old special girl make me want to scoop her up in my arms and then storm down to the playground, finger wagging, to kick some rude kid butt. Me: How was school today? Avery: Good. I made you a card. I did my letters. Me: Who did you play with at recess? Avery: Katie and Susanna. But Katie say, “Go play with your own friends.” Me: What?! Avery: She say to me, “Go away.” Me: Silence. Stewing. Blood pressure rising. Me: So what did you do? Avery: I want to play with Susanna, but Katie say, “Play with your own friends.” Me: So who did you play with? Avery: I just walked around by myself. Avery adores Katie (not her real name). We’ve had her over to our house a lot. But things have changed. Katie who was new to the school last year and didn’t speak English, has friends now—friends she’s not willing to share. This isn’t a post about “mean girls.” It’s old news that kids can be little a-holes. It’s also a fact that kids who are different are often excluded. Different is not “cool” in elementary school. No, this isn’t anything[…]

Jan 11 2015

2014 was a year flanked on both ends by grief. Our family lost close family members in February and December. There was also the death of a pet in the middle (insignificant in comparison, but try telling that to a sobbing child who has only just recently had his first experience with losing a loved one). I’ve written about how death has affected our children. Insecurities, anxiety and fears have been addressed by talking about our feelings honestly, but age-appropriately. For the most part, the kids are coping and moving forward. Our daughter Avery, eight years old, but cognitively closer to age four, is still struggling with the loss of her Grandie. She talks about her daily. When she’s particularly sad, she makes an “I miss you” card to add to the collection whose intended recipient will never see. Avery dreams about her Grandie a lot and the mornings following those dreams are hard. She’ll cry and ask “why?” There’s really no good answer to that. So she’ll squeeze her eyes shut like her granddad taught her and say, “Grandie is in my heart.” And of course, it breaks my heart. Avery answered the phone last week (her new[…]

Archive - 2015

A Soft Place To Land—A Story About Friendship

When Your Child Is Shunned

Life Lessons Learned From Loss