Garfield Was Most Likely A Zombie Cat

No matter what time I go to sleep, hauling myself out of bed in the morning is a struggle. If somebody could just invent an alarm that causes the bed to propel its sleepy occupant up and out in the general direction of the coffee pot.

My husband on the other hand is a chipper early bird. He bounds out of bed, no alarm necessary. My children take after him. They are up at the crack of dawn…every….day. Earlier on weekends.

Apparently sleeping until 9 am while your young children fiddle with the toaster and drive themselves to school isn’t allowed, so I’ve had to make adjustments.

I force myself awake at 6:30. Sometimes when I’m lucky I manage to steal another 15  minutes of precious “awake-but -with-eyelids-closed” time.

I may be physically standing and blinking and stumbling around at 6:30, but my brain doesn’t actually wake until around 8 am. That hour and half in between is called the “Mombie Zone.” Mombies are known to spill coffee and step on the dog, but they won’t eat you or anything. Unless you have peanut butter on your thumb and she mistakes your hand for a slice of toast. As a rule, it’s best to keep your distance from Mombies until they’ve had a cup of coffee and have spoken English (that made sense) at least once.

How do Mombies care for their young on weekdays? Here are three tips from this Mombie:

1. Help your children lay out their clothes the night before. While you’re at it, lay your clothes out too otherwise you’ll probably end up at school braless in fleece jammies.

2. Assemble the snack portion of school lunches at night, while you’re conscious. Then you only have to deal with the sandwich or soup or whatever main dish you’re packing in the morning.

3. Assign tasks to your children — e.g. open the curtains, feed the dogs, lay out the back packs, etc. Not only does this help you out, it keeps the little Energizer Bunnies busy.

Bonus: MY TOP TIP — put together a basket or bin of “busy work” for each child to keep them occupied while you make coffee, er, their breakfast. My kids each have a tub filled with worksheets (can you tell I was an elementary school teacher?), flashcards, a sketch pad, homework to review, spelling words, etc. plus one FUN thing (e.g. a comic book or sticker book). After 15 minutes of “work” they are allowed to do their fun activity. By then breakfast will be ready, kids will be eating quietly-ish and mom will be almost awake.

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