My My, What Sparkly Porridge You Have

I feel like Goldilocks living in this house filled with porridge lovers. I realize oatmeal is healthy and everything, but it’s gross. I’m a texture person. Porridge is a gruely mixture somewhere between vomit and lumpy soup. I’m not a big fan. Give me oatmeal cookies, crunchy oaty granola, even Hall and Oats, but keep your porridge to yourself.

My husband (aka Papa Bear) continues to ignore my pleas and has been making a LARGE pot of oatmeal every morning. He eats it. The kids eat it. And I’m guilted into eating it.

“It’s good for you! It’ll fill you up. Lower your cholesterol..blah, blah, blah…” he lectures.

So, I’ve been a good Little Miss Muffet, eating what I’ve been given. Oh wait, Miss Muffet ate curds and whey, not porridge. Whatever. Equally disgusting.

Yesterday, I drew the line when Papa Bear asked, “So? How is it?”

“Fine” I muttered, “but I could do without the sparkly bits. What are those anyway?”

“Oh ya. I tried to scoop out as much as I could.” Papa Bear explained.

He had added the baggie of “Reindeer Food” (oats mixed with red, green and silver craft sparkles) Avery and I had made to sprinkle on the lawn on Christmas eve to signal our location to Santa and his crew. Since we didn’t have any snow, we skipped it. I didn’t anticipate my husband would add it to my breakfast!

Maybe he thought Quaker had come out with a fancier version of Quick Oats? Or perhaps he thought the shiny coloured bits would entice me into eating it??

I’m going back to my protein shakes.


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