Tag - Dogs

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Crazy Dog Walking Lady
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A Little Doggone Privacy Please!
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Happiness Is Finding The Sunny Spot
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Who Let The Dogs Out, WHO, who, who, who?

Crazy Dog Walking Lady

Have you seen Crazy Dog Walking Lady? Oh wait, there she is. *sees own reflection in a car window as she’s pulled along by a pack of dogs itching to get on with their morning pee* We have two dogs. Well, more like one and half since one small dog + one smaller dog add up to one whole dog with some extra fur left over. For the past month we’ve also had a guest dog. Her name is Jazz but we like to call her “Jazz Paws” while doing Jazz Hands in the air. She just stares at us blankly. Dogs clearly don’t understand Broadway references (unless you’re referring to the musical Cats. they love/hate that one).   Now that I’m seeing this photo up close, I have to say Jazz looks a tad “taxidermied.” She’s actually quite lively in person canine. Too lively even—this girl requires four walks a day. That’s a lot for a lazy bitch like me (not a curse word in dogspeak by the way). It’s impossible to teach dogs to use the toilet Jazz also refuses to use the yard. To date, nary a droplet of her pee has graced our lawn. So even[…]

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A Little Doggone Privacy Please!

After the tremendous success of yesterday’s post all about pooh, it’s clear we’re all craving more explicit poop talk. What? One person really liked it and the “Pooh on my hand” bit? It killed. Well I laughed anyway. I have just one more thing to add to this log. Haha… Oh the potty humour. You gotta love it. Well, you do if you have young children. Parenting is just one endless fart joke. This is our dog Roger channelling his inner Luke Perry. He’s mastered the “shmize,” don’t you think? He can really tell a story with those bulgy chihuahua eyes of his. Roger: part chihuahua, part terrier, part weenie   He may look tough, but he’s actually afraid of his own shadow. And fireworks. And vacuums. And toenail clippers. And cats. Especially the cheeky cat who lives in the house behind us.    I’ve witnessed this brazen kitty chasing poor Roger in circles around our yard. Totally humiliating.    Yesterday I looked outside just in time to catch Roger doing his doggy business while his feline nemesis hung over the fence, squinting at him with her mocking cat eyes. How is a dog supposed to concentrate on the task[…]

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Happiness Is Finding The Sunny Spot

As I worked today {and by worked I mean, surfed the net…for “research” purposes, downloaded a few itunes and ate my kids’ Goldfish crackers straight from the bag}, my dog strolled in and curled up on the floor beside me. For Roger, a dog we adopted a few years ago from a shelter, this is his happy place. He’s content with little comforts, like finding the sunny spot. He gets excited about simple things like trips in the car and walks in the park.  How wonderful life must be, to be carefree and without a worry in the world. In my next life, I’m coming back as a dog. 

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Who Let The Dogs Out, WHO, who, who, who?

It was a ruff night last night and I’m dog gone tired. The kids didn’t wake me. They slept like babies. It was the wild animal kingdom outside my open bedroom window that woke me. It started with a single dog barking his furry head off, which soon spread to dogs near and far (I don’t care about the far off dogs, it’s the near ones I had a problem with). There were low growlers, high pitched yappers and assorted yelps in between. When I thought the canine chorus couldn’t get any louder, a screeching cat joined the cacophony…or catcophony in this case. To make matters worse, the woman in the house “kitty” corner to us (funny enough, not the cat owner, but the owner of the dog who started it all) began yelling, “Lucky! Lucky stop it!! LUCKY!!!” It took every ounce of self control I had not to yell, “Sir (this woman has a very deep voice), stop shouting at your dog and bring him inside!” She finally got Lucky under wraps. Then the cat settled down and the other dogs followed suit. In the words of the Baha Men, “Who let the dogs out?” and why? It[…]

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