Zombies Are People Too

Today I planned to write about my interview…the one I was so excited/nervous/hopeful about and the email I received informing me I was “unsuccessful in the interview process.” And that I suck. And should leave the teaching profession forever and never look back. And that I’d be better suited working at a McDonald’s drive-thru than at the District School Board. (I *may* have embellished a little, but you get the gist).
But, I’ll save that post for tomorrow when I’m not quite so bitter and sleep deprived. Like, REALLY sleep deprived. Let me tell you about my sleepless night – in point form because it’s all I can muster. If this post stops dead, there’s a strong possibility I passed out on my keyboard so please send coffee…
The following schedule could apply to either  a) A Night Shift Worker b) The un-dead c) A mother of young children and a dog with stomach issues…
7:45 p.m. Announce to family that I am exhausted and designate husband as official child bather and bed tucker-inner. Retire for the evening.
8:00 p.m. Slip into kidless bed with a cup of tea and Glee cued up on the laptop. Nestle under covers. Experience a moment of bliss.
8:03 p.m. Moment of bliss over. DS slips into bed asking to read Harry Potter together. Put Glee on pause (I’m aware that can be taken both ways. I mean it BOTH ways). Spill tea on pajama top.
8:30 p.m. Bed returns to kidless state. Watch Glee, feel old and wish I could hold a tune.
9:00 p.m. Put on a load of wash, let the dog out, attempt to fall asleep.
10:30 p.m. Try to stop torturing myself going over the interview questions over and over again. Take off socks because the tossing and turning has made me sweat.
11:00ish p.m. Fall asleep.
11:30 p.m. Awoken by whimpering dog. Let him out. Watch out the window as he attempts to make his mark on the frozen tundra.
1:45 p.m. Zzzzzzzzz.
12:00 p.m. Guess who needs to go out again? Wonder if he ate something weird?
12:05 p.m. Put dog in laundry room downstairs “in case of a code brown” and go back to sleep.
1:00 a.m. Can’t stand the dog crying downstairs any longer, so let him back upstairs.
1:10 a.m. Back to sleep…sort of.  I was really pissed off at this point and it’s hard sleep when you’re miffed.
1:30 a.m. Avery shouts “Mama!” from her room. Wait. Listen. Silence. Go back to sleep.
2:15 a.m. Avery up again. Don’t want her disturbing daddy who’s sleeping with her. The guy has to work in the morning. Fetch the night owl and bring her to bed with me.
2:16-3:35 a.m. The girl is awake. AWAKE. I try to sleep but can’t with somebody draped across my neck.
4:00ish a.m. Back to sleep. Finally.
5:30 a.m. Hubby comes into bedroom to get dressed for work. “Hi hon. What’s that you say? You’re going to be late tonight?  Awesome.”
6:15 a.m. DS up and loitering outside my room, trying to decide if it’s safe to enter. Brave kid decides to come in. Says he hears strange noises from downstairs. Ya, that would be the dryer. Sigh.
6:45 a.m. Feel guilty DS is up, alone. Haul weary butt out of bed with new appreciation for what zombies must go through… Poor zombies.
Hey!  Look at that I typed this whole thing without passing out on my keybo
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