humour Archives - Page 2 of 18 - Forever In Mom Genes

Parenting Exposed (literally)

Jun 07 2016

Parenting makes us vulnerable. We expose parts of ourselves we never imagined we would – emotionally and sometimes, physically. Something happened several years ago that I’ve only shared with a select few. I feel like now is a good time to dust off the details and share it out loud because I can laugh about it now. Back in the summer of 2011 when my daughter was a spunky five-year-old, we were invited to attend a big outdoor children’s event. I didn’t want to go. It was difficult taking my daughter out back then. She’s a precocious kiddo whose physical and cognitive delays make it tough to rein her in sometimes. But, my son who was obsessed with lizards at the time was desperate to see the reptile show at the party. His needs frequently come second to his sister’s—which is often the case of siblings of kids with special needs. He was so looking forward to holding a Bearded Dragon, how could I deny him that lizardy pleasure? We were at the event less than five minutes when Avery stuck a sponge covered in green paint in her mouth, picked up a pile of goose poop in her hand, and[…]

This New Form Of YOGA Is Sure To Catch On

Oct 22 2014

I love yoga. Or more accurately, the idea of yoga. Not to mention the sinewy limbs that come from actually practicing yoga instead of sitting on your ever widening ass watching You Tube videos about yoga while eating crackers slathered in 115 mls of apple butter. If this yoga class comes to a studio near me, I’m so signing up. HILARIOUSLY calming. Who’s with me?

Oct 17 2014

Alternate titles for this post include: Thugs Of The Insect World We Don’t Like You, So Buzz Off Get Off My Apple Arsehole You’ll Never Make Honey. Get Over It Wasps Are Wankers Go Back To Your Own Planet Wasps. What Are They Good For? Absolutely Nothing. I decided on the hornet inclusive title because a) LOL! and b) Hornets are jerks too. So are wasps good for anything? They’re part of our ecosystem (though I stand by my claim that they are invaders from another planet. Magnify them about 100x and you can totally imagine a wasp-alien eating Sigourney Weaver). Wasps eat pests like aphids and other creepy little insects. They also act like tiny vultures by eating and disposing of dead rotting stuff. I know this is a helpful thing; the circle of life and all that, but why do they have to be so annoying about it? Go ahead and eat my apple core, but can you at least wait until I put it down? And when a raccoon has a tantrum and hurls my food waste bin across my lawn, do you really have to swarm me like that? I’m merely trying to remove[…]

Oct 14 2014

When this first photo was taken my daughter was three years old and just started having status epilepticus seizures and I was STRESSED out. And skinny. I felt sick to my stomach a lot of the time—great for my jeans, but not much good for anything else. Five years later, we’ve settled into our lives. There are still stressful moments, but as you can clearly see by my shapely rump, I’m not letting it get to me. “A fourth slice of pizza? Why yes, I think I will.” This post isn’t a commentary on weight gain or the fact that my hair hasn’t changed much in half a decade. No, it’s more about… ~ leaning on friends and family ~ understanding it’s easier to focus on the negative than to find the positive, but that the latter is so much better ~ choosing to laugh, because sometimes it really is a choice ~ being gentle with yourself (I’m still working on that) ~ realizing we can’t control everything (working on that one too!) ~ spending meaningful time with family because man, kids grow up fast don’t they?? ~ learning that stress can be managed with a little work and[…]

Sep 05 2014

This is what I do upon occasion whilst I’m supposed to be working or cleaning my house or grocery shopping or god forbid, exercising. I visit the countless random thoughts in my head and jot them down. I also, upon occasion, use the word whilst. 1. Recently I wrote about how we all eventually fall prey to the dreaded mom cut. So what do I go and do anyway? I get clipped despite my own warning. I was going for more ‘Julianne Hough’ than mom cut. Preeeeeeetty sure I nailed it. Wait, why are you sniggering? I can’t even properly evaluate what’s going on on my head at the moment. I woke up and immediately pulled my hair back into a stump of a ponytail. I’m a creature of habit. My friend laughed at me because I didn’t know who Julianne Hough actually is. She’s the host of that dancing show on t.v. This is what happens when you don’t have cable. I’m the one on the right. Just in case you didn’t know because Jules and I are basically twins. I’d better put on a hat. The last thing I need is the paparazzi following[…]

Category - humour

Parenting Exposed (literally)

This New Form Of YOGA Is Sure To Catch On

Honk If You’re Hornet—A Rant About Wasps

Oh How We’ve Grown

Random Thoughts In My Head