Tag - special needs

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Waiting Room Worries
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Tiny Dancer
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TIFF Kids—special films for special kids
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Her Special Squad
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Even The Best Doctors Make Mistakes

Waiting Room Worries

My husband and I have sat in many waiting rooms over the past few years, anxiously awaiting news. It’s scary, and nerve wracking, and lonely—your basic trifecta of darkness.  But thankfully and luckily and gratefully (your basic trifecta of good fortune) our children’s surgeries have gone well. Yes, I said children.  I rarely write about our developmentally typical boy child. He’s a full-on teen now and his stories are his stories to tell. But recently he had to have surgery. He’s the kid we don’t have to worry about or fill out complicated medical waivers for. I actually said something to that effect not long ago so apparently I jinxed it. Anyway, it was fine. He is fine. I asked him if I can share a bit about it at some point because we learned some things from this experience that I know other parents can benefit from. He said, “Sure,” with a shrug. So I’ll get to it one of these days.  But back to the undisputed star of this blog—our developmentally atypical girl child. She has several surgeries under her belt—none as serious as some of the ones friends’ children have gone through. But, there have been risks and[…]

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Tiny Dancer

My daughter is a dancer. Yes, she mixes up the steps and goes in the wrong direction at least half the time, but she doesn’t care one bit. She gets distracted and stops mid-step to wave to me or to watch herself in the mirror. And sometimes she trips and falls, but she always gets back up, smiling. She loves to dance. And lucky for us, she can.  We had been at another dance studio, but out of the blue the owners decided that a class for students with special needs was too time consuming, too much work, just too much effort. It reminds me of this story. So our tiny dancers were displaced and disillusioned.  But we’ve fallen back in step and been welcomed with open arms at our new studio.  Avery’s dance teacher is warmth and encouragement and inspiration. Miss Stephanie treats her special students the way treats all of her dancers. She pushes just enough and cheers them on. She’s choreographed the most wonderful dance for the girls to perform at the spring showcase—on the big stage in pink sparkly costumes, with grown up hair and fancy make-up. They’ll be dancing to Superstar by Love Inc—a perfect anthem[…]

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TIFF Kids—special films for special kids

  My eldest child has been making short films since he was old enough to use an iPad. One of his earliest was an iMovie project called, “A Video For A Special Sister.” He showed it class by class at his school in an effort to teach his peers what it’s like to have a sibling with special needs. The technique was amateur, but his message was mature beyond his years. Is it possible to be a doting stage mother if my child is behind the camera? Anyway, like some sort of cosmic cinematic kismet, a fitting showcase is coming to the TIFF Kids International Film Festival this year! My son and I are going to view the Jump Cuts Young Filmmakers Showcase—short films created for young people by young people.   This year’s theme challenges young filmmakers (grades 4-6) to create an onscreen representation of a disability. It will be interesting for my mini Spielberg to watch how his peers approach filmmaking, editing, and story telling. I wish he had known about this earlier and could’ve entered. He’d have won for sure! That was my dramatic stage mother voice again, wasn’t it? Speaking of disabilities (seamless segue, I know)[…]

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Her Special Squad

Kids can be cruel. They can sniff out “different” from a mile away, and sometimes they tease or isolate anyone who doesn’t fit in. As a teacher I’ve seen it. And as a parent, I’ve worried about it. But so far we’ve been blessed. I’m not a religious person so using the word blessed seems hypocritical, but it’s a fitting way to describe our experience with our daughter’s peer group. Our child stands out in class—her delayed speech, the EA who shadows her around school, her struggle to keep up, and her inability to understand—these all set her apart. But instead of shutting her out, her classmates circle around her and make her feel special in a “you belong” kind of way. Her teacher told me her friends actually bicker over who gets to take Avery to the office or who gets to partner with her for a project or stand beside her in line. I know Avery feels it. She adores her friends and talks about them with such love. As a mum, I am grateful for these compassionate kids. Their parents are obviously teaching them to treat others with respect and kindness. For that, we (personally but also[…]

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Even The Best Doctors Make Mistakes

A random question in a Facebook group brought the memories flooding back. I hadn’t thought that doctor in years, but now I’m remembering her dangerous mistake very clearly.    When our daughter was a few months old we knew something was wrong. In addition to missing developmental milestones, she refused to nurse and she started losing weight. These babies are the same age. Avery is the one in pink, obviously. She was so tiny in comparison.  This picture makes me sad. But it also makes me laugh. Hello, Andrew on the right? Breastfeeding was a struggle from day one. Poor suck, tongue tie, high palette, persistent thrush—these were the reasons given at the breastfeeding clinic. We switched to bottle feeding hoping it would help. It didn’t. Our baby was fading away and we begged doctors for help. Our family doctor who was on our side from the beginning sent us to see a well-respected pediatrician. Without even taking Avery out of her baby carrier to examine her, he dismissed my concerns as dramatic postpartum nonsense and shooed me away.  As an aside… three years later we met again in a hospital emergency room. He was the pediatric doctor on call[…]

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