We hosted a puppy birthday party today and it was off the chain. Literally. There were dogs running free all over the yard and in my kitchen.
When I was a regular contributer for a popular website called The Yummy Mummy Club (now, “YMC”) I went by the handle “Party Mummy.” My beat was all things entertainment. I wrote about pet parties (why yes, we did throw a full-on dog wedding), kids’ parties, adult parties—some reeeeeally adult ones like a passion party, an unforgettable (for my husband at least) vasectomy dinner, various mom pub crawls—plus a vast array of “let your hair down for some serious fun” parties.
At one point I was attending or hosting some kind of festivity at least once a week. Lately however, I’ve been about as social as an incarcerated nun librarian mime in solitary confinement. It’s a temporary lull. Life just got busy and a little too serious.
However, when your daughter’s dog turns one year old you simply MUST throw a puppy party no matter what else you have going on. Even if the date falls on Thanksgiving weekend.
So today we somewhat hurriedly but happily hosted Ruby’s “ONE Year Birthday Party.” Puppy pants, optional.
Even though we put it together on the fly, it was furrific fun. Ya, I said furrific. You want to punch me in the muzzle now, don’t you? Canine times out of ten my dog puns cause a furry fury.
Sorry. That mutt have been a bit ruff to read and possibly a mastiff waste of time. Sorry. Haha. Okay, I’ll put the pup puns on paws.
We invited a few friends over who have small dogs to help celebrate. I wanted to send out a “Let’s Party Doggy Style!” evite, but this was a kids’ party. But, obviously tempting.
Four doguests were regrettably unable to attend. One was away for Thanksgiving. One was too old and tired to bother. One doesn’t play well with small dogs (aka prey). And one ate something she shouldn’t and had a bad case of the dog trots.
Our cat was also invited, but he spent the majority of the party hiding and/or hissing for no reason. FYI… come follow Kevin our funny feline with all the cattitude on his new Instagram account @fureverKevin. If only I was kidding.
Back to the party. This one is SO easy you could plan/prepare/host it with your eyes tied behind your back.
Here’s what you need for a pawsitively perfect party for your pooch:
DOGS (and their handlers)
MUSIC — we made a pawsome playlist with such canine classics as “Who Let the Dogs Out”, “Dogs Days Are Over” and “Hound Dog.” (Who Let the Dogs Out is now an infuriating earworm.)
DOG SNACKS—water and dog treats. Dogs will eat pretty much anything. I love that in a guest.
PEOPLE SNACKS—chips because they are a party staple (and by party I mean life), hot DOGS, puppy punch (doesn’t matter what’s in it, just call whatever it is puppy punch and you’re winning) and pupcakes.
When I came up with the name “pupcakes” I knew I was the cleverest hostess ever. But, assembling this hot mess took me down a few pegs. A drunk blindfolded baby monkey could’ve done better, so I invite you to try YOUR paw at these. Yours can’t possibly be worse than these puppies.
Ingredients: cupcakes (or drive-thru Starbucks muffins purchased 10 minutes before the party. I kid you not), homemade icing (As If I made it. Duncan Hines.), candy eyes, Bear Claw cookies cut into a circle for the muzzle and crescents for ears, a nasal Chipit, and an upside-down confetti heart sprinkle for the tongue.
I tried to draw on an icing mouth with a toothpick, but failed. Obviously. But, the dogs were aesthetically oblivious, and the kids didn’t seem to mind that these treats looked like the dog’s breakfast.
They ate them without complaint. I think I even heard them say, “Bone-appetit” and “Oh my dog these are good!”
Yappy barkday Ruby!!
Now that you’re a big girl, I hope you’ll stop sneak-pooping in the basement and yapping every time you hear a noise. Like, any noise. Please cut that out.
And, in answer to the burning question, “Who let the dogs out?” I did. Several times. I didn’t want any party guests peeing on the rug.