Halloween Treats For Baking Cheats

It’s not that I can’t bake. It’s just with all the precise measuring and following of directions I’d rather not. I’m more of a culinary free spirit. 

But, when my daughter decided to throw a ‘Haunted Halloween Hip Hop Dance Party,” I knew we’d need wicked good (possibly baked) treats. I let my little party animal choose a few treats from Pinterest. Then I adapted them to make them as easy and baking-free as possible. I’m a witch like that.

Here’s what I whipped up in my cauldron (aka double boiler which I haven’t used in a bat’s age): 


Chocolate Bar Mummies:

  1. Unwrap mini chocolate bars (I used Coffee Crisps) and eat at least four. 
  2. Melt white chocolate or white candy melts (also called moulding wafers) in a double boiler. Do not look at the ingredients in candy melts. The horror… 
  3. Drag the melted candy over each chocolate with a fork (the tines make nice mummy wrapping lines) or drizzle. 
  4. Add two chocolate chip eyes. 

Rice Crispy Monsters:

  1. Buy a box of rice crispy squares from Costco. 
  2. Eat as many free samples as you can before you check out. 
  3. Unwrap a dozen or so rice crispy squares and set aside. You can make these yourself but for the love of ghosts, why?
  4. Choose 2-4 candy melt colours. Melt one colour at a time in the double boiler. Once fully melted, dip the end of a rice crispy square in the melted candy. 
  5. Add candy eyes. (You can buy them in a pack from Bulk Barn or Michaels.)
  6. Let harden/dry on parchment paper. 

Creepy Cake Pops:

  1. Send your spouse out for a party pack of Tim Bits. Make sure he also brings you a double-double. Choose whatever Tim Bits flavours you want (I used all plain). 
  2. Melt more wafers in your double boiler. You could also use a mircowave. You absolutely can make your own cake from scratch, but Tim Bits are already round and cakey so…??
  3. Put one Tim Bit on a (long) lollipop stick and roll around in the melted candy. 
  4. Stick in styrofoam base (I cut a styrofoam ball in half into two domes for this purpose and steadied in a bowl. I just saw this cake pop stand online and have added it to my “want-it” board on Pinterest since it looks like I’m kind of a cake pop savant and will be making loads more. 
  5. Repeat using multiple colours. Add sprinkles if desired. And who doesn’t desire sprinkles? 

Two Bite Brownie Spiders:

  1. While you’re at Costco trying samples of pierogies and potato chips, buy a tub of Two Bite Brownies Side note: A boy I taught in my grade two class… his dad invented Two Bite Brownies.
  2. Pierce brownie body with four holes on either side with a skewer or toothpick.
  3. Cut black licorice laces (Bulk Barn) into eight legs and stick in the holes.
  4. Glue on candy eyes with icing or melted chocolate.

Melon Monster:

  1. Cut a watermelon in half and try not to severe a finger. 
  2. Scoop out the flesh and dice or ball into vampire bite sized pieces. 
  3. Carve teeth into both halves of the melon and put back together. 
  4. Add strawberries (or whatever you can find in the fridge) for eyes. 

Possessed Pizza:

  1. Frozen pizzas FTW! Costco has a yummy 3-pack. (With all the Costco mentions you’d think they’d sponsor me, right?)
  2. We enjoy plain cheese, but rest assured there are lots of ways to make your pizza look possessed. Google, “Scary Pizza” and you’ll find lots of tricks. Like mozzarella and olive eyeballs or black olive spiders. There’s even a Donald Trump pizza. Sorry if I just made you lose your appetite. 
  3. Bake and serve on a platter. 

Mozzarella Monster Fingers With Blood Sauce:

  1. Buy a box of frozen breaded mozzarella sticks. 
  2. Bake and serve with marinara sauce for a bloody good dip. 

Crispy Treats:

Put orange Cheezies and orange Party Mix in a black bowl. Bam! You’ve just Halloween’d that snack.

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