Archive - 2015

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He Tied Me Up
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Dumb Things Are Funny When You’re Over-Tired
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You Make Life Better—A Love Letter
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Funkins…FTW!
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I Made This Mess—Now It’s Time To Clean It Up

He Tied Me Up

  You thought this was going to be some kind of S&M scenario, didn’t you? Rest assured, you won’t need a safe word to read this story. But seriously, I really did get tied up—by a neighbourhood kid when we were seven. We were playing in his backyard when suddenly, I can’t remember why, he tied me to a garden trellis with a skipping rope. There was rake involved somehow too. I had limited upper body strength (if you could see me at the gym now, you’d see THAT hasn’t changed) and I wasn’t able to undo my tethers. He left me there for some time. As demonstrated by my current freedom, he obviously returned at some point to untie me. It’s crazy the things we remember with such incredible clarity decades later—which is made all the more remarkable since now, at the ripe old age of 40-something, I can’t remember a damn thing. I couldn’t possibly tell you my kitty corner neighbour’s name even though I just knew it. And then forgot it. And was reminded of it. And then forgot it again. I could ream off a laundry list of things I forget on a weekly basis. Wait,[…]

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Dumb Things Are Funny When You’re Over-Tired

As parents of young children, my husband and I don’t get out much. So when we do go out and stay up past lights out, we pay for it the next day. My parents looked after the kids just last weekend so we could go out and whoop it up. We whooped and were thusly pooped. When my parents dropped the kids home the next day, Adrian and I were two lumps of meat on the couch. Of course, they were all busting with energy. My parents even brought over a new laser machine cat toy thingy for the cat. Kevin wasn’t “feline” it but our daughter was. She kept trying to look into the laser beam. Um…..no. I prefer my children have fully intact retinas. Thanks for the gift, but it had to go back. While we zombies sat on the couch with absolutely zero perceptible movement, minus the occasional eye blink, Avery pulled at my mum to go downstairs to play, while my dad struggled to get the large cat toy back into its tiny box. For some reason our son took this video of the action and you can hear my dad mumbling, “I’ll just uh….” as[…]

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Funkins…FTW!

My daughter is beautiful, inside and outside. Though I have to say, sometimes her outside is a mess. At every meal she ends up with a ridiculous amount of food on her face. We have no idea how she doesn’t feel it. And if she is aware of the loaf of bread hanging from her lower lip, how does it not drive her nuts?! But alas, this is one of the many mysteries that make our Avery unique. Left to her own devices, she would go through a dozen paper napkins in one sitting—that’s a whole pile of unnecessary waste. We tried sending Avery to school with a pair of terrycloth wristbands to wear during lunch. Her occupational therapist gave us the idea, suggesting she use them to wipe her mouth. Good idea in theory, but she didn’t like the way they felt on her wrists and the experiment failed. Without the teacher or her EA facilitating, lunchtime is when Avery has an opportunity to interact with her peers independently. And though the kids at her table group graciously try to ignore the food on her chin, we are trying to teach her to get it together. 🙂 We recently[…]

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I Made This Mess—Now It’s Time To Clean It Up

It’s not that I’m a “neat freak” exactly— I just prefer my environment (home, office, car, the world) to be orderly. Does this make me neurotic? Maybe, but my brain just functions better when the space around me is organized. Even as a kid, I made my bed every morning without being asked. I’m not talking hospital corners, but at the very least, the comforter was pulled smooth. Apart from some Barbies lying around or a few sweaters draped over my desk chair, my room was always well appointed. My brother was pretty tidy too.* And today, all grown up, his workshop is super organized—there is a place for everything. Labeled even. And don’t even get me started about his highly efficient laundry system. It’s a thing of beauty. We’re both giant weirdos, aren’t we? No response needed, thank you.  I really have no idea what our mom did to make us this way. She never nagged (not about tidying anyway… Hi mom!). We just knew that keeping our rooms neat was our responsibility, so we did it willingly and peacefully. So now that I have two children, I expect the same from them. Unreasonable? There are many who say,[…]

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