Archive - August 2015

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It’s Las Palmas Girl!
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A Simple Formula For A Happy Life

It’s Las Palmas Girl!

You’ve seen the “Las Palmas Baby” You Tube video, right? It’s a hysterical parody of a drunkardy tourist lady (the fanny pack? Ha!) in a bar—expertly played by an oblivious apple juice swigging toddler. If you haven’t watched it yet, it’s a must-do! It’s brilliant—the clip is at the end of this post. A few weeks ago at a special family celebration, Avery unwittingly provided a moment of levity amid the emotion by channeling her inner Las Palmas. My cousin and I noticed it at the same time. “Hey look, it’s Las Palmas Baby!” she exclaimed, laughing. Despite the unfortunate absence of the fanny pack, Avery nailed it. This post reminds me of…The Time Avery Took Up Gambling

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A Simple Formula For A Happy Life

We’re just home from a few weeks away and I’m behind in basically everything—work, errands, housework. So naturally instead of facing reality, I’m cruising the internet pinning recipes I don’t have the ingredients for, bookmarking household projects I’ll never get to even if I had the tools or skills to do them, and reading quotes—nauseating inspirational preachings that actually make me think. Dammit. I don’t have time for reflection. These toilets aren’t going to clean themselves. By the way, why hasn’t anyone come up with something for that yet? Not just that blue liquid that auto-dispenses into the bowl. I mean, a toilet that actually disinfects the scunge under the seat with blue light technology or something. The lady across the street has Molly Maid in once a week to scrub her scunge. I think it might be easier to just drop some Molly and maybe if you drop it (or do you smoke it?) you won’t even notice or care how dirty your house is. Hellohhh, Molly Maid. Anyway, I was reading some quotes just now and had an epiphany—maybe the way to live life in complete harmonious balance is all in the numbers? Instead of feeding my children[…]

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