I’m Yelling Timber


I trip and fall more than the average person and for no apparent reason. I rarely wear high heels and the terrain around my house is completely flat. So what gives?

We all have our “things” I guess. My things include puns, getting lost at least three times a week (in my own neighbourhood even) and falling down.

Fyi — this is not alcohol related. I never fall after a glass of vino. In fact, pour me a glass of Pinot Grigio and I’m pretty darn graceful. I only fall over when I’m dead sober.

Coincidentally, Wii Fit pegged me at 58 years of age with extremely poor balance. The cocky little Mii asked if I tripped a lot. I laughed and nearly fell off the balance board. 

My last fall was a truly comical episode. (The kind of funny that pops into your head days later causing you to laugh out loud by yourself at the grocery store like a crazy person)

While visiting family in Michigan I was worried about slipping on the ice and breaking my bum. I was extra cautious and managed to remain completely bipedal while we played outside.

But while navigating carpeted terrain indoors, I let my guard down. Leaning in to offer my sister-in-law a chocolate biscuit from the tin I was holding, my foot snagged on the ottoman and I fell in extreme slow SLOW motion. One hand firmly holding the biscuit tin, the other clawing at the end of the couch in an attempt to avoid a fall, I was left armless, falling face first into my SIL’s lap.

The look on my family’s faces was hysterical — a mixture of horror, confusion, concern and awkward embarrassment.

“When did you become such a dork?” my brother asked.

I couldn’t answer because I was laughing too hard. My husband cleared things up by saying, “She’s always been a dork. It’s just gotten worse.”  

There are 2 kinds of people in the world.
Those who laugh first, and THEN ask if a fallen friend is hurt.
Those who express concern and only laugh once assured their horizontal friend is okay. 
Which one are you? 



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