Archive - January 2013

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Sticks and Stones
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A Little Doggone Privacy Please!
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All About Pooh
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Shopping With Littles

Sticks and Stones

    As the saying going, “Sticks and stones may break our bones, but words can never hurt us.” Really? That life lesson seems a little naive, if not excessively violent. Sticks are for roasting marshmallows. Stones are for skipping over a glassy lake on a hot summer day. Of course getting a stick in the eye is going to hurt and a stone to the skull will probably leave you dizzy and in need of an ice pack. Painful granted, but usually temporary. But words? They have a way of getting under your skin and festering for awhile; stinging and burning like a painful rash. I heard my kids playing upstairs when my son suddenly said to his sister, “Where did you get that from? Did somebody say that to you??” He came down to report that Avery had called him “Dumbo Ears.” She didn’t know what it meant and was obviously only repeating what she had heard. She told us somebody said it to her at school. She couldn’t name who. Avery’s ears do stick out and it’s not the first time she’s been teased about it. The thing is, she has no idea. In the face of[…]

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A Little Doggone Privacy Please!

After the tremendous success of yesterday’s post all about pooh, it’s clear we’re all craving more explicit poop talk. What? One person really liked it and the “Pooh on my hand” bit? It killed. Well I laughed anyway. I have just one more thing to add to this log. Haha… Oh the potty humour. You gotta love it. Well, you do if you have young children. Parenting is just one endless fart joke. This is our dog Roger channelling his inner Luke Perry. He’s mastered the “shmize,” don’t you think? He can really tell a story with those bulgy chihuahua eyes of his. Roger: part chihuahua, part terrier, part weenie   He may look tough, but he’s actually afraid of his own shadow. And fireworks. And vacuums. And toenail clippers. And cats. Especially the cheeky cat who lives in the house behind us.    I’ve witnessed this brazen kitty chasing poor Roger in circles around our yard. Totally humiliating.    Yesterday I looked outside just in time to catch Roger doing his doggy business while his feline nemesis hung over the fence, squinting at him with her mocking cat eyes. How is a dog supposed to concentrate on the task[…]

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All About Pooh

  Some days are so full of crap that even when viewed through rose coloured glasses, everything still has a distinctly brown tint. When we arrived at my son’s first swimming lesson, we learned it had been cancelled due to a “pool fouling.” Um, gag. When we got home, I got down and dirty in the backyard picking up the ample evidence that we own two healthy dogs. Avery came outside to “help” but was promptly sent back inside. This kind of KP duty isn’t suited for child labour. Clearly her boot hit a land mine on her way back in, as evident by the brown smear across the kitchen floor. But alas, the sun was still shining so we headed back out to soak up some more vitamin d. Avery drove her new Powerwheels jeep to the park. She managed to stay on the sidewalk half the time. The other half, she was off-roading over people’s lawns, collecting canine fecal samples for blocks. People, just because it’s winter, this does not mean you are excused from stooping and scooping!  As I cleaned the tires mired in ick, Avery ran inside to take care of her own pressing business. Like[…]

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Shopping With Littles

  Some days I’d rather walk the plank than bring my kids shopping with me. I freely admit to having low mojo days when, if possible, I leave my youngest at home or bring her along, but strap her securely into the shopping cart, with a snack and my iphone. Does she enjoy being confined to the cart? Not for long. Once her snack runs out, she stages a loud and wriggly protest. The iphone apps don’t amuse her for long either. In fact, once when my attention was focussed on label reading, she “misplaced” my phone. I contemplated having customer service put out a loudspeaker call to find it, but instead I retraced our cart tracks and found my phone on a shelf in the bread section. I don’t have to tell you that left me feeling a little crusty. However, bringing along a pint-sized shopping sidekick doesn’t always have to spell disaster.   Here are ten points to consider when shopping with Littles: Give yourself more time than you think you’ll need. Shopping in a hurry with a child in tow is a recipe for frustration. Never attempt to shop when your child is tired or hungry. Never attempt to[…]

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