Archive - June 2011

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C is For Cookie and Also Catastrophe
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Take A Dip In Our (Cess) Pool

C is For Cookie and Also Catastrophe

“I don’t bake, I bakery.” This is a line I use often and for good reason. My cookies crumble, my loaves are listless, my cakes are lopsided and my pies…well, I gave up on them ages ago. I “bakery” them. Thank you Costco for your behemoth pies that serve 24 people, if you indeed decide to share. *coughs and wipes pie crumbs from chin* It’s also more expensive to buy ready-made. Plus who knows what preservatives and lardy bits are hidden in store bought goodies? So, in an attempt to be more budget conscious and increasingly healthful-ish I’ve been baking. Are you laughing? You’re totally laughing. And you SHOULD be because watching me work a sifter or rolling pin is laughable. Picture flour everywhere, sink piled high with greased up cookie sheets, dough on the floor and on the dog, swearing, lots of swearing and sometimes, smoke.  However, I’m proud to say I have mastered the art of oatmeal cookies. In fact, my last batch was not merely edible, it was downright tasty. How amusing that my son was beyond excited to offer a cookie to his friend. “My mom made these,” he announced with pride. And then there’s my[…]

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Take A Dip In Our (Cess) Pool

Yesterday it was a sweltering 40 °C, so after school the kids were excited to come home and cool off. I made them virgin strawberry daiquiris with swizzle sticks and paper umbrellas and we clinked our glasses and toasted to the summer ahead. Then my sweaty children put on their swim suits, lubed up with SPF and took their slippery selves for a dip in our brand new pool!!! Exciting, I know. You were probably super jealous just reading that. You may also have been thinking, “Wow, how can they even afford this aquatic luxury on their stupidly tight budget??” Ok fine, this isn’t our pool. I don’t know these people. But I want to…  THIS is our new swimming pool. You are welcome to come take a dip with us any time, Hilly Billy style! But here’s thing, kids don’t CARE about luxury or keeping up with the Jones’. Give them a bucket, some water and a hose and they’re coolio. So move over kids, mama’s comin’ in! Cannon ball!

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