MY BUCKET LIST…but not exactly


I love the idea of writing a bucket list – things you want to do before you kick the bucket. It’s not as easy as you’d think.

I tried. I really did. But them I got frustrated and wrote a Fucket List of traits to nix before I kick the bucket.

Here they are in no particular order:

1. Stop obsessing over how the weather is going to affect my hair and just go out into the elements and live my life. Do animals give a shit what their fur is doing? No. Humans are stupid. It’s only hair!

2. Stop feeling guilty about every little thing. I’m not even Catholic.

3. Quit worrying about my car, my house, my clothes. Material things DO NOT matter. I know this, I just need to believe it.

4. Stop trying to control everything (people, schedules, household tasks, life) all the time.

5. Seeking the approval of others is pointless. Suck it up ya sensitive pansy and just get on with it.

6. Envy is ugly. So what if she’s a better writer, or he’s wittier or she’s thinner or more in shape or more successful or….fucket. Does it matter?

7. As my grandma always said, “Never say anything about someone unless you’d be proud to say it to their face.” She was right. I HAVE said unkind things about people and it’s come back to bite me in the ass. Gossip is mean and it really has no place passing over my lips.

8. Let go of grudges. I’m like a pit bull who won’t let go of a bone only in this case, it’s a bone of contention.

9. I admit it. I have passive aggressive tendencies. It’s gross.

10. I’m a tad over-dramatic at times. Sometimes it’s funny. Endearing even? But mostly, it’s just obnoxious. Drama belongs on a stage, not in my kitchen.

11. I’m far from perfect so how can I judge anyone else?

12. “Don’t worry worry, until worry worries you” is an old Irish expression. I’m a worrier and I always have been. It’s exhausting. I think it has a lot to do with #2. Fucket. Ulcers are not sexy.

14. I need to quit being so superstitious! (Notice how I skipped #13?)

15. And finally, something for any Bucket OR Fucket list–stop planning for things that may never happen. Right now, today, this moment is all that really matters.



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