If you’d told me that one day I’d leave my job to be a stay at home mom, I never would have believed it. I went to school to be a teacher dammit. I’ve always wanted to be a teacher. As if I’d give that up…
Of course I love my kids and I want to be with them. But not like, all the time. I’d always planned to parent AND work—in perfect balance. Because that’s totally doable, right?
I thoroughly enjoyed mat leaves with both my babies, but knowing I’d soon be back at work made it easier to enjoy every moment. The light at the end of the tunnel shone bright.
Mid-way through my mat leave with my second child, daycare was set up, schedules were organized and I was ready to go back to the classroom I loved, to a job I was really good at, blissfully unaware that things were about to change.
At 8 months, our daughter became very ill and was hospitalized.
Avery was diagnosed with a rare (as in one-of-a-kind-where-in-the-hell-did-this-come-from-holy-shit) genetic condition. Doctors didn’t have much information so we had no idea what to expect.
The geneticist painted a grim picture, tossing out gems like, “will never walk without assistance,” “may not verbalize, so start signing with her asap,” “long-term care,” “significant developmental delays,” and other equally discouraging. possibilities. As a chronic planner, for me the uncertainty was hard to handle. It literally brought me to my knees.
Years later I find myself at home with my two amazing children. I’ve definitely had my moments and the toll that stress has played has done a number on us. Our eldest child, our resilient son, has been incredible through all of this. I am so grateful for him and thankful for his compassion and giant heart.
We have an incredible support system of friends, family, therapists, teachers and doctors encircling us. We feel lucky.
This kid has surprised everyone.
I know she will continue to delight us with everything she is. And she’s a lot—a lot of attributes that make her incredibly unique. I’m her mom, but I can say without bias, that she is unlike any other human I’ve ever met. Her heart is pure—no judgement or envy or hate or doubt or anger or disbelief. She’s only smiles and happy and love and nurturing and compassion. I’m pretty sure she’ll stay that way. It’s the way she was built.
I never imagined I’d be a stay at home mom.
How lucky I am to have the privilege.