Tag - worry

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Letting Our Son Care For His Sibling With Special Needs
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When We Worry Too Much And What To Do About It
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PTSD—Always There Under The Surface
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Do I look worried?
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STRESS BUSTERS FOR CHILDREN

Letting Our Son Care For His Sibling With Special Needs

Today was a Professional Development Day in our school district, so both my high schooler and middle schooler had the day off. Phew! The poor kids have been back at school for nine gruelling days. Time for a much-needed break.  I didn’t realize the kids would be home and I had a fitness class booked for that morning. A good friend was coming to try her first class and I didn’t want to miss it, so I decided to let my son look after his sister. He’s sixteen and more than mature enough to babysit for an hour. But I hesitated (understatement).  He’s fully capable. The cog in my helicopter parent propeller is the idea of putting so much responsibility on his shoulders, broad as they may be. If something serious should happen—a seizure, or choking, or a fall (all possible occurrences), it’s all on him. That’s a lot to put on a child. Okay, a man-child, but you know what I mean. I struggle with letting my son take control, letting them figure things out, and letting my daughter have a break from me breathing down her adorable neck.  Chances are high that absolutely nothing dramatic will happen. But it’s the[…]

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When We Worry Too Much And What To Do About It

I understand the parameters of reality, so why do I worry so much? It’s pointless and I know that worrying is harmful, so why do I keep doing it? I think I have an answer. The first time I recall being really worried was when I was seven years old. My dad traveled a lot and one night his plane was late. I was convinced he had crashed and I worried myself sick. Of course he was fine. I had worried myself sick for nothing.   Over the years I continued to worry about a variety of things from A to Z — some realistic, some ridiculous.  They say only eight per cent of our worries are realistic. And of those, we can actually only do something about half. This means ninety-six per cent of the things we worry about are a useless waste of time. Why do some people worry more than others?   I have a theory that we worriers have three things in common:   1. WE NEED TO BE IN CONTROL We dictate and delegate, but then end up doing everything ourselves because everyone else does it wrong. We like to organize and compartmentalize and strategize and basically orchestrate the outcome[…]

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PTSD—Always There Under The Surface

Adrenaline is nature’s way of keeping us safe in the face of danger. It serves a purpose, but when a traumatic experience causes you to live in a constant state of fight or flight it can wreak havoc on your life. PTSD can wreck you if you let it.  We’ve all experienced that jolt of muscle quivering energy that floods our bodies during scary or stressful situations. Like when the car in front of us stops unexpectedly causing us to slam the brakes. Or when a glass slips from our hands, but we catch it before it smashes. Our hearts race, but we quickly recover and move on.  But sometimes the situation is painfully serious and the recovery time is substantial. Like when your child has a medical emergency—a near fatal seizure or maybe she chokes and stops breathing. I can’t begin to describe how frightening that is. We’ve been in this horrible place a few times over the past decade. We’ve watched helplessly as our youngest lay unconscious, or unable to take a breath.   Our daughter Avery’s near fatal seizures have rendered her lifeless in my arms. I’ve seen her lips turn blue. We’ve watched paramedics bring her back to[…]

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Do I look worried?

  Disregard the furrow of my brow and fidgeting hands. Apart from that, do I look worried to you?   If you say no, you’re lying. And I love you for it.   I’ve talked before about worry and how “Karl” is riding me like a banana crazed gorilla. We all worry, but some of us take it a little farther. Further? I never know which to use, but I’m not going to worry about it.   I don’t sweat the little things like that. I focus my worry on the things I have little control over. Like death, loss, monumental screw ups caused accidentally by me. Normal things like that. So what am I doing now to do to stop worrying so much? I’m TAKING ACTION!  You fellow control freaks know what I’m talking about. We like to be in the driver’s seat. It’s not that we’re bossy, it’s just that you do it wrong. What? I may not be able to control the outcome of every situation, but if I simply DO the things that are actually within my power and leave the rest to fate, I feel much more in control and liberated from worry. For example:[…]

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STRESS BUSTERS FOR CHILDREN

Stressed may indeed be dessert spelled backwards, but it’s anything but sweet. It’s just the opposite — it’s sour. Or is that bitter? Whichever one, as my friend would say, “Stress can go suck a bag of ducks.” This handy new catch phrase was born from an Autocorrect. I have no idea what it means, but I try to use it at least once a day because it makes me laugh. And laughter is the best stress reliever, right?   I have a tendency to let stress build, but I’m working hard to learn how to manage it successfully and I’ve written about the steps I’m taking to kick my Worry Wart Ways.  Lately I’ve seen burgeoning signs of stress/anxiety/worry in my eldest child. Nothing terribly alarming, but significant enough to pay attention.  “Fifty per cent of adults diagnosed with mental illness reveal its start before the age of fourteen. It is imperative for parents, caregivers as well as teachers to recognize stress in early stages and support the child affected.”  My son seems to worry like his mother. Is this something for me to worry about? (I am aware of the irony here.) Perhaps it’s merely a phase. Either way, we’re[…]

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