special needs Archives - Page 8 of 16

Beware The Snapping Turtle

Jan 28 2015

One of the benefits of having a blog is being able to vent. I try not to hit “publish” on topics that are negative or mean spirited or just plain whiney. There’s already enough of that noise out there, I don’t want to add to it. So if you’re reading this, it would seem I found a nugget of positivity or a learning moment somewhere in here. Plus, how cute is this turtle picture? I just want to reach out and stroke him and say, “It’s okay scared turtle. Everything will be alright.” But then I remember…salmonella. So perhaps just soothing words of encouragement from a distance. Turtles may appear passive and even apathetic, but you should see them when they’re feeling amorous. The day we took the kids to “Reptilia” we got an eyeful. I tried to tell the kids that the turtles were just playing. True, if by “playing” we mean #turtleporn. I feel like a turtle some days. Not in a “Come back to my shell and party!” kind of way, but in a “retreat into my shell and hide” way. I’m not confrontational at all. I live in fear of hurting people’s feelings. I’ll often apologize[…]

Jan 22 2015

Conversations like these with my eight-year-old special girl make me want to scoop her up in my arms and then storm down to the playground, finger wagging, to kick some rude kid butt. Me: How was school today? Avery: Good. I made you a card. I did my letters. Me: Who did you play with at recess? Avery: Katie and Susanna. But Katie say, “Go play with your own friends.” Me: What?! Avery: She say to me, “Go away.” Me: Silence. Stewing. Blood pressure rising. Me: So what did you do? Avery: I want to play with Susanna, but Katie say, “Play with your own friends.” Me: So who did you play with? Avery: I just walked around by myself. Avery adores Katie (not her real name). We’ve had her over to our house a lot. But things have changed. Katie who was new to the school last year and didn’t speak English, has friends now—friends she’s not willing to share. This isn’t a post about “mean girls.” It’s old news that kids can be little a-holes. It’s also a fact that kids who are different are often excluded. Different is not “cool” in elementary school. No, this isn’t anything[…]

Jan 11 2015

2014 was a year flanked on both ends by grief. Our family lost close family members in February and December. There was also the death of a pet in the middle (insignificant in comparison, but try telling that to a sobbing child who has only just recently had his first experience with losing a loved one). I’ve written about how death has affected our children. Insecurities, anxiety and fears have been addressed by talking about our feelings honestly, but age-appropriately. For the most part, the kids are coping and moving forward. Our daughter Avery, eight years old, but cognitively closer to age four, is still struggling with the loss of her Grandie. She talks about her daily. When she’s particularly sad, she makes an “I miss you” card to add to the collection whose intended recipient will never see. Avery dreams about her Grandie a lot and the mornings following those dreams are hard. She’ll cry and ask “why?” There’s really no good answer to that. So she’ll squeeze her eyes shut like her granddad taught her and say, “Grandie is in my heart.” And of course, it breaks my heart. Avery answered the phone last week (her new[…]

Dec 11 2014

Just look at the joy on this child’s face. She LIVES to shop, but the poor kid is saddled with a mother who detests shopping. However, I have to wear clothes (in public anyway) and feed my family, so shopping is a necessary chore. I’ve tried pawning it off on my spouse, but he can’t shop himself out of a paper (or plastic, or cloth reusable) bag. I sent him to the grocery store one morning for apple juice, bread, and milk and he came home with grapefruit juice (what kid drinks grapefruit juice??), bagels, almond milk, and a pie. Close, but yet so frightfully far. I’m coming to embrace the whole grocery delivery thing. I fought against it at first, concerned it would it cost more. Turns out I spend less since I don’t end up with $50 worth of impulse purchased potato chips, too good to pass up deals, and whatever else I might have a craving for in the moment. When I’m organized and on the ball, I plan ahead and get groceries delivered. Other times, I hit the supermarket so Avery can revel in her shopping happy place. She and I both push our own carts.[…]

Nov 27 2014

We allow men of authority into our lives because why wouldn’t we? Celebrities, clergy, teachers, doctors—all intelligent, successful, well respected, and charming men—why wouldn’t we trust them? It’s hard to believe it when they turn out to be monsters. I have to wonder what happened to make them this way? You know that something happened. Somewhere along the way an incident or prolonged exposure to something dark or painful twisted them away from normal and decent. Despite what happened to them in their formative years, what they are inflicting upon others now is not okay. More than that, it’s humiliating and hurtful. It’s a hateful cycle that needs to end. All women are at risk, but our daughters with disabilities are exceptionally vulnerable. My daughter is beautiful, inside and out. She’s kind and loving and completely naive. She could easily fall prey to a monster disguised as a human man. How do I protect her online and in daily life? How do I teach her to respect and trust adults whose job it is to keep her safe at school and in activities and programs, but also council her to be cautious? How can she be wary when her eyes[…]

Tag - special needs

Beware The Snapping Turtle

When Your Child Is Shunned

Life Lessons Learned From Loss

Independence: Aisle 4

How Do We Protect Our Daughters With Disabilities From Abuse?