special needs Archives - Page 10 of 16

Pets Are Family

May 22 2014

People say we’re nuts for having so many pets. Three isn’t “so many” if you ask me, but I’m not one to split hairs—even the ones stuck to my black pants. Is life easier without a small herd of animals to take care of? Sure. Is it as rewarding? Not for us. When our daughter was about two and a half and still not walking, one of her physical therapists suggested we find something highly motivating to her to get Avery up off the floor and walking. Avery has always been obsessed with dogs. THIS would be her motivation. My sister-in-law has her own veterinary practice and she found the perfect dog for us—a mutt, part chihuahua, part terrier and part teeny-tiny wolf. He was about three years old, housebroken, quiet, not too big, and a RESCUE DOG in need of a loving home. We would be that home. Within three months of adopting Roger, our girl was walking; then running after her canine companion. A few years later we adopted a second dog, Maya. We even hosted a dog wedding. No seriously, you can witness the Bow Wow Vows here. It can take people a lifetime to[…]

May 03 2014

This post is about how to ease the blow when your child isn’t invited to the party… My daughter excitedly joined in to sing a boisterous happy birthday to her friend at school this week. She’s all about the good times. It’s an apple-falling-not-far-from-the-tree sort of thing. She went straight up to the birthday girl (who is a sweetheart) and asked, “It’s your birthday! You having a party?” Making an awkward situation even more awkward (another apple-tree situation) my daughter continued her line of questioning with, “I can come to your party?!” Talk about putting this poor girl on the spot. She is having a small party—only one child from the class was quietly invited. This is totally cool and completely acceptable. But my party girl just couldn’t understand this and she couldn’t let it go. For the rest of the day she kept bringing it up, stuck in a loop of disappointment. Classmates began stepping in to say gently but firmly, “Avery, you’re not invited. Okay?” On the way home from school my girl burst into tears, explaining about the party and that she couldn’t go sobbing, “Why can’t I go toooooo?” sob-sob-snot-bubble-cry All parents have these dagger[…]

May 01 2014

She is perfectly able to dress herself in the morning. Well, pretty much. Buttons and zippers can still be a challenge. Yet I can’t seem to stop myself from “helping.” Since I realize she needs to learn to do things on her own, I’ve been laying out her clothes and allowing her to get dressed on her own, no matter how long it takes (and sometimes it takes forever). I need to take this a step further by letting actually her choose her own outfits. But it’s a tough one. For me, not her. She loves picking out her clothes. (This is where the control freak in me starts to really squirm.) Today I was running late so I let Avery put together her own outfit for school. Oh how I wish I had video of her jumping through her doorway out into the hall, arms overhead, legs outstretched in a victorious V-stand, grinning from ear-to-ear exclaiming, “Tah-dah! I dressed!” Halloween t-shirt, underwear on backwards and inside-out, one long black sock, one short white sock, no pants. She was ready for school. We have a strict “you must wear pants in public” rule so I suggested she put[…]

Mar 05 2014

Last year in the school yard, children repeatedly asked my son if his sister was retarded. When he finally told me about it I was ready to bang some heads together. Luckily my child is more mature than his hot-headed mother. He chose to take action by making this VIDEO to present to his peers resulting in meaningful conversations and a greater understanding about what it’s like to have a sibling with special needs. The fact is, children follow so it’s our job as adults to be kind, educated, moral leaders. When adults don’t set a good example we end up with a new generation of ignorant, intolerant adults. Out for dinner recently an adult at our table joked about something retarded they did at work. I was shocked, but I didn’t say anything. How is this still happening in 2014? If I stay silent I’m part of the problem. This frustrates me. As the parent of a child with special needs am I expected to police the internet and the world around me like an R-word detecting watch dog? I’d really rather not. You might think that retard(ed) is merely a word and that we—the people who love[…]

Feb 05 2014

My friend wrote this thoughtful post about our responsibility as mature adults to talk to our kids about…ahem, you know, the birds and the bees. (Hello 1957.) She’s absolutely right. Whether our children are educated in these matters at school or home, we need to provide them with the facts necessary for them to make safe and healthy choices—for their bodies and for their tender hearts. I remember the “talk” when I was growing up. Back then these awkward talks were isolated moments in time. Instead of slowly doling out the details as our children mature, giving them age appropriate info as needed, our parents sat us down at the age of eleven-ish and dumped the facts of life into our laps. My mum did a great job. She sat me down in our kitchen and told me what to expect as I developed. I didn’t make eye contact as she explained about a garden and some kind of complicated seed planting situation. Despite the Better Homes and (lady) Gardens metaphor, I understood. I also felt reasonably comfortable going to my mum during my teen years with questions. Luckily, I didn’t have many that couldn’t be answered by my[…]

Tag - special needs

Pets Are Family

Tears Sting Even When They’re Not Yours

All Dressed

You’re Not Still Using The R-Word Are You?

Precocious Puberty?!