Tag - parenting

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I’m A Parent, No Doubt
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The Sweetest Voice
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Parenting: A Glory Story
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Her Voice
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A Bittersweet Anniversary and Post Traumatic Stress
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Wait…That May Not Be Chocolate
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I’m Lucky To Be A Stay At Home Mom

I’m A Parent, No Doubt

  Parenthood is filled with anxiety fueled I-don’t-know-what-the-hell-I’m-doing daily doses of doubt.  None of us are truly prepared to be “in charge” of another human being. We’re all just kind of thrown into this  But, when you ARE in charge of another person you need to learn to do just that – take charge.    I have two children – our youngest has special needs. I had a normal pregnancy and birth experience and it wasn’t until our daughter stopped feeding and began to fall off the growth chart that we knew something was wrong.   I took her to several doctors; all of them told me to stop worrying. One paediatrician, who I ran into several years later told me, “Women have been feeding their babies forever. You just need to relax.” That was helpful. He also advised that we just “wait and see.” Seriously? But he was the professional and presumably knew what he was talking about. So I doubted myself — but only for a moment.   Instinct told me to take action. I packed a bag and took my child to Sick Kids Hospital Emergency. We were admitted and spent nearly a month in hospital receiving the care we should have had from the start.     Taking a stand or questioning authority takes me way outside of my[…]

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The Sweetest Voice

  No matter how often I hear my children’s voices–and I hear them often since I gave birth to two chatterboxes–I’m never deaf to how sweet they are. Not the words necessarily, but the actual sound; the unique pitch and tone that make them easily identifiable in a crowd. Didn’t I read something about that and penguins? Oh nature, you rock my world. As we sorted through Christmas ornaments last week the kids sang carols, in the way kids do–loud and out of tune. My son sang in a prepubescent high pitched trill that only dogs can hear. While my daughter hummed in tone than can only be described as the lowest on the register. Granted the girl has a cold, but wow. Coupled with her inability to carry a tune we jokingly referred to her as “The Monotone Baritone.” Out of tune and off pitch, it was still music to my ears. Listening to them talk to each other, uttering phrases they’ve clearly heard from me, like mocking birds, makes me smile and reminds me that little ears hear all. *mental note: quit cursing* As I walked my girl through the school parking lot she chattered away, repeating herself,[…]

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Parenting: A Glory Story

You ponder the sleepless nights, the childish outbursts (yours AND the kids’), the emotional and financial drain, and the myriad of adjustments you’ve had to make to your life, and you wonder, “Is parenting worth the sacrifice?” The day my daughter was diagnosed with a rare genetic disorder is the day our lives changed forever. We were in the hospital at the time, our tiny girl hooked up to a feeding tube, when the doctor explained what we would be facing in the years to come. Appointments, hospital stays, and numerous therapies loomed. One parent would need to stay home to manage this hectic schedule. It was going to be me. My maternity leave was coming to an end, but I would not be returning to my job. More than a job, my chosen profession and passion. When this reality hit, I sat rocking my baby in my arms, grieving for my old life. A passing nurse peered in at a sobbing mother and soon a social worker arrived to talk to the woman in room 2C who was coming unraveled. It seems selfish looking back at how devastated I was to be losing my career. Was it really a loss[…]

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Her Voice

  We all want our daughters to have a voice. I need my daughter to have one.  I won’t always be around to speak for her – to explain to others why she may not understand, or to make her understood. Before my daughter was born, deep down I worried there was something wrong. All the prenatal testing indicated she was fine, but sometimes a mother just knows. When she was born, and I held her in my arms, I saw only perfection. I still do. We soon discovered our girl was special. In fact, she’s so unique there isn’t a name for her particular syndrome. She has come miles further than we were told she could. Her future is bright, yet shadowed by developmental and medical challenges. Our daughter doesn’t understand the rude looks or ignorant questions. A stranger’s comment about her “walking funny” results in a carefree smile. Teasing, from a neighbourhood kid earns him a giggle. One day, she will understand and feel the sting of hurtful words and actions. The most important thing I can do to prepare her is to help her to find her voice. My girl is a mess of blonde curls, big brown eyes and pouty pink lips. She’s beautiful. People want[…]

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A Bittersweet Anniversary and Post Traumatic Stress

  This story was originally published in 2010. Avery continues to do well on her anti-seizure meds and life is good. 🙂 It was an ordinary day. If you consider 40 degrees Celsius in May normal. Avery and I dropped big brother at school and went through our day like any other. It was exactly one year since her first seizure—a severe and nearly fatal episode. I never seen a war, but yet I have Soldiers Heart nonetheless. At least that’s what they used to call it. Today we know it as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. PTSD usually develops as a result of a “terribly frightening, highly unsafe or life-threatening experience.” It doesn’t make a difference whose life was threatened – yours or the life of someone you love. People who experience post traumatic stress tend to avoid places, people, or things that remind them of the event. But what happens when you live WITH the person who reminds you of the trauma IN the place where it happened? I tell you what happens; you avoid thinking about that event, ever. If you find yourself feeling any emotions related to said event, you crack a joke, call a friend or[…]

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Wait…That May Not Be Chocolate

Know what pisses me off? Running to the bathroom after filling a shriveled bladder with vast amounts of green tea only to find somebody (I won’t mention any names, but she’s blonde and lives in my house) has peed on the seat. You frantically grab a wad of toilet paper to mop up the mess so you can take your rightful spot on the throne, but your bladder has already started the downloading process. It’s that whole Pavlovian thing in action. So you wet your pants. And for no good reason. It’s not like you were having fun and laughing so hard you peed a little. Sorry. I’ve got pee on the brain, so to speak. These days our household is consumed with pee. And poop. We’re in the midst of potty training booty camp. DS was fully potty trained by the age of two. It took a week. I used a cleverly organized sticker system and Potty Champ reward chart. I was the one who deserved a reward…for super stellar parenting. Seriously? I was a fool. DS was just a good pee-er. It had nothing to do with me. At all. My daughter has made that abundantly clear. She’s[…]

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I’m Lucky To Be A Stay At Home Mom

If you’d told me that one day I’d leave my job to be a stay at home mom, I never would have believed it. I went to school to be a teacher dammit. I’ve always wanted to be a teacher. As if I’d give that up… Of course I love my kids and I want to be with them. But not like, all the time. I’d always planned to parent AND work—in perfect balance. Because that’s totally doable, right? I thoroughly enjoyed mat leaves with both my babies, but knowing I’d soon be back at work made it easier to enjoy every moment. The light at the end of the tunnel shone bright. Mid-way through my mat leave with my second child, daycare was set up, schedules were organized and I was ready to go back to the classroom I loved, to a job I was really good at, blissfully unaware that things were about to change. At 8 months, our daughter became very ill and was hospitalized. Avery was diagnosed with a rare (as in one-of-a-kind-where-in-the-hell-did-this-come-from-holy-shit) genetic condition. Doctors didn’t have much information so we had no idea what to expect. The geneticist painted a grim picture, tossing out gems like,[…]

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