Tag - My Movember

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Sick of It
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A *Message* (read in french accent) About Massage
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My Funny Head … Funny Weird, Not Funny Ha Ha
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Mo-Walk The Talk
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My Movember

Sick of It

  I’m sick of getting sick. It’s sickening. If I had an attack dog, I’d sick him on sickness. There have been so many germs and unwelcome viruses around here lately, it’s surprising we’re not living on a street lined with Sycamore trees. Sick-a-more. My Movember plan to be Sick-a-less hasn’t been going so well.    Pink eye, strep throat, allergies, coughs, colds and now…the dreaded flu. I used to be able to fend off these germy buggars with both eyes tied behind my back. I know that’s not a real quote but I don’t care. It makes me laugh and we flu sufferers need all the humour we can find because one look in the mirror and it’s all tears and disgust. I look hideous. But now, I seem to fall prey to every bug that blows my way.   My son caught something at school last week. Being the strapping young lad he is, he fought it off valiantly. Avery caught it next. She didn’t fare as well and was a sick little girl for several days. Then, I caught it. The chills, the shakes and fever, the sore throat and all over body ache–the flu is a[…]

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A *Message* (read in french accent) About Massage

As weird as it is to have a perfect stranger rub and squeeze me, it’s completely worth the mild awkwardness. Here’s the low down on getting a rub down: 1. Eat before. Not so much that you’re a bloated whale, but enough to spare you the worry about your tummy grumbling during your massage. A rumbly stomach is a natural thing, but for some reason I find it embarrassing and anticipating my stomach making sounds on the table stresses me out. 2. Drink water before and after your massage – something to do with helping flush out toxins or something. 3. On that note, pee right before your massage. Parts of your body will be pushed on, so it’s a good idea to go in “on empty.” 4. Be advised that the massage therapist will tuck the top sheet into the wasitband of your underwear. Unless you’re comfortable showing off your butt, you might want to trade in the thong for full-coverage briefs on massage day. 5. Couples massages are romantic in theory. However, if your partner is a Chatty Cathy (Yes, I’m looking at YOU honey) and serenity is what you’re after, book separate rooms. 6. Set the mood[…]

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My Funny Head … Funny Weird, Not Funny Ha Ha

So far Movember is going well…for my husband. His stache is filling in rather nicely, if you like the porn star look. As I sit here, wiping the sleep from my eyes, blowing my nose, and feeling an all over sense of ick, I can’t say my Movember has started off with a bang. My commitment, though made in earnest, is hobbling pathetically along, stopping frequently to pull up socks and catch its breath.  All hope of a healthy “No-phelgm-ber” have been dashed. My son, covered in a thin film of Vicks VapoRub and cold sweat, crawled into bed with me last night. He coughed and thrashed around and coughed some more. I got about eleven minutes of sleep.  I know this is a blip. We’ll rid this house of these vile germs and start fresh on Monday. I can’t give up on this, on me. I matter to people. Specifically, the little people who live in my house and the guy with the porno stache.  I made a commitment to get healthy and fit, a “commfitment” if you will. I know, I know, what’s with the lame, clearly made up terms? I can’t help it. I had a scare[…]

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Mo-Walk The Talk

I know how to talk the talk. “Oooh, I’m going to take better care of myself this month; get more sleep, eat better, exercise, blah, blah, blah.” So far my progress has been less than impressive. I posted the original “My Movember” commitment at midnight. Nice job on the whole getting more sleep vow — only the cornerstone of this entire thing. Last night I went to bed early-ish, but I tossed and turned like a sailor in a hurricane. By that lame analogy you can guess what sort of groggy state I’m in. So ask me how my exercise regime has been going. Wait, let me just unbutton my jeans—the waistband is cutting into my gut and I can’t concentrate. Okay, NOW ask me. I’ve been walking the dogs. That’s a start. Did I mention they’re chihuahuas? Not exactly a challenging trek. Also, I talk on the phone and Tweet as I’m walking. Richard Simmons would roll over in his grave if he read this. Oh wait, he’s still alive and kicking. And wearing those tight and teeny striped shorts apparently. As for my “healthy eating” promise? Stupid Halloween. So now what? I made this essential commitment to my health and[…]

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My Movember

  Every Movember dudes around the globe grow mustaches to raise funds and awareness for men’s health, specifically prostate cancer. My hairy husband participates. Last Movember he grew a handlebar stache which I found particularly annoying. Even though I desperately wanted to shave it off in his sleep, my respect and admiration for this great cause kept the razor at bay…until December 1st. This year I am participating in my own kind of Movember in support of, me. Please don’t misunderstand, I’m not being selfish. There’s no ish. This is all about self— self preservation.   Every Christmas the bleak weather, the hectic holidays, the stupid sucky stress; it all takes a toll and I become this pathetic, flimsy sack — I am the packaging that the mint condition Lisa originally came in now tossed aside, wrinkled and useless. Not this year.   I plan to properly prepare and fuel my body and soul in preparation of the dreary winter ahead.    This Movember I will support and cultivate my husband’s lip garden, while also seeking to claim mo for myself…   mo-sleep mo-water mo-exercise mo-down time mo-meditation and purposeful relaxation mo-pampering mo-saying no  mo-healthy eating (including those vitamins and[…]

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