Tag - Bittersweet moments

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Nothing Says Sad Like A Soggy Sandwich
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There Will Be Tears

Nothing Says Sad Like A Soggy Sandwich

Parenting is challenging. Not exactly a newsflash. But parenting a child with special needs is challenging in ways I never expected. The love I feel for both my children is equal, but the fear and uncertainty around my daughter is more gut wrenching and harder to shake. I’m fairly certain friends and family had a betting pool about the state I’d be in today. Well, sorry to disappoint those who put their money on Train Wreck.  Turns out, this morning I was merely a titch tender.  What these gamblers didn’t know, was I got most of my tears out yesterday.  What set me off was making lunches for the kids last night. As I quartered Avery’s grapes, it hit me that I wouldn’t be there to help her.  I boo-hooed as I cut off her sandwich crusts and then sobbed when I noticed tears had fallen on her bread. I’m not exactly sure why I found that so sad. Anyway, during this melt down, my poor husband was doing the nervous eye dart, back and forth as if to say, “Holy shit. My wife has lost it. What do I do now? Anyone. Anyone??” Fortunately, an intervention wasn’t necessary. By[…]

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There Will Be Tears

Avery starts school tomorrow. Full day Junior Kindergarten, three days a week. I….am a wreck.  Many kind people have reached out to tell me, “It’s ok. It gets easier. She’ll love it. You’ll be fine.” All thoughtful and well-meaning comments. And it’s true, she will love it. And she will be fine. But will I? And will it really get easier? I felt the usual pangs and sentimental sorrow on my son’s first day of Kindergarten four years ago.  But it got easier, fast. But he didn’t stand out from his peers in a blatant and painfully awkward way. I didn’t have to meet with the school to discuss emergency procedures and ambulance protocol. He didn’t have to wear a helmet at recess to protect his curly haired head from frequent falls on the unforgiving blacktop. He didn’t have his own personal Educational Assistant shadowing his every move to ensure his safety. He didn’t wear a diaper. He didn’t receive quizzical looks from his peers or other parents. He was happy. He fit in. I didn’t worry. But this is different. Now I worry. All the time. A lot. We never thought we would see this day. Avery was never[…]

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