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I Have No Dreams
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Taking A Stand
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The Beginning
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Boo Hoo, My Baby’s No Longer Two….
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Do You Have Spectacula Maculas?

I Have No Dreams

I’m not talking about hopes/aspirations kind of dreams– those died the day I had children. Kidding. My dreams aren’t dead, but rather in a temporary coma. I experience dreamless sleep these days. The thing with being sleep deprived (other than the brain numbing duh-ness and scary under eye-bags) is that I don’t dream. Or possibly I do, but I’m just too tired to recall. I used to have crazy vivid dreams every night that I loved recapping the following morning. I’ve never seen my husband laugh as hard at anything than at my “re-enactment” of the dream where I was master of a parade gone horribly wrong. I’d retell it here, but it would be lost in translation without the necessary visuals and accompanying marching song. Many of my creative ideas and quirky inspirations for inventions or organizational tools came from dreams. I’ve even had prophetic dreams and had tea with deceased relatives while dreaming. For the last few months, my sleep has been dreamless. No reverie whatsoever. Not even a simple, run-of-the-mill “running in place, not getting anywhere, while completely naked at my high school reunion as my teeth are falling out” dream. Until last night. I wish I[…]

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Taking A Stand

I’ve never considered myself a very assertive person and definitely not a confrontational one. Over the past two years we’ve worked with cardiologists, neurologists, therapists, orthotists, geneticists, pharmacists—so many people whose title ends in “ist”. There was a time when I followed a doctor’s advice without question. They were the professional – the expert. Who was I to question them? Now I question everything. I research every word. I seek second and even third opinions. I don’t care if I get glared at. I don’t care if I’m a pain. I don’t care if I’m disliked. I do care about my children. They are my priority. Last week my husband took the kids to his parent’s while I hosted a party at our house. At 11:30 p.m. he phoned home to tell me an ambulance was there to take Avery to the hospital. She was having a seizure that wouldn’t stop. I met them in the ER. The seizure eventually stopped on its own without medication. After 8 hours, they sent us home and told us to follow up with our neurologist. The following afternoon, I put Avery down for her nap. Thanks to our family, we now have a[…]

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The Beginning

  One year my husband gave me a tacky beer cozy–you know those foamy cups that insulate your bottle? “This is not the life I ordered” was written across it in neon letters. It was a silly gag gift for an occasion that I can no longer recall. Recently I dragged it out from a box in the basement and announced that from now on, I would be using it to hold all of my beverages because this is NOT the life I ordered! I lucked out in the husband department, I love my children immensely, friends and family abound. Overall my life is blessed, so I should probably clarify.  I wouldn’t trade being my daughter’s mum for anything. Maybe it’s because I love her so deeply that being her mother is all the more difficult. Avery breaks my heart a little bit, in some way, every day. Happy moments, sad ones, fearful, worrisome, desperate moments– they all have an effect on you as a parent, as a person really. When Avery was four months old we had concerns which we addressed with our family doctor. She was not gaining weight, refused to nurse or drink from a bottle and[…]

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Boo Hoo, My Baby’s No Longer Two….

Teary, Blubbery, Gloomy, Snivelly, Sappy, Sucky and Sobby The new cast of the Seven-Dwarfs? More like a perfect description of me approaching my baby girl’s 3rd birthday. Maybe I was a little grumpy or even a titch witchy? No. Not really witchy (I just used that word so I could use a photo of me as the witch from Snow White!) Really, I was more of a weepy, mush-bag. I could easily write a post wrought with emotion describing how far our little girl has come. How she’s faced obstacles and countless trips to hospitals and appointments with a smile and that giggle of hers that makes me want to laugh and cry at the same time. I could go on about how her daddy and I burst with pride every time she accomplishes a goal or does something that she was never “supposed” to be able to do. I could. But I won’t. Every parent’s child is special. Every parent bursts with pride on a daily basis. And, every parent feels sentimental on their child’s birthday. I’m no different. This year my husband, 6 year old son and our dog Roger (What? He’s totally part of the family) made[…]

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Do You Have Spectacula Maculas?

  Three nights ago I went a little bit blind. Friday Night after Cardio Boot Camp I logged onto Twitter and noticed that my fellow tweeters were making an LOT of typos–leaving out letters and even whole words. I felt smug. At least I wasn’t the only one who made “twypos”! Then I realized they hadn’t. It was me. My eyes were all wonky. It was looking through broken glass that had been smeared with Vaseline. My husband suggested it was eye strain. That sounded reasonable since I’d been on the computer a lot. As I was contemplating this, things worsened. I suddenly saw wiggly white lights flashing from the centre of my eyes, outward. I freaked out and ran upstairs. Not the smartest move in retrospect. The vision impaired should refrain from running up stairs. I went to bed, shut my eyes tight, and hoped I would see things clearly in the morning. If I had been having a stroke or some other medical emergency, ignoring these symptoms could have been well, not good. In the morning my vision was back to normal, with the exception of those annoying floaties passing across my field of vision. I reported this to[…]

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