1
The Beginning
2
Boo Hoo, My Baby’s No Longer Two….
3
Do You Have Spectacula Maculas?
4
Do They Have HBO in Hell?
5
Oh. My. God. I’m. Tired.

The Beginning

  One year my husband gave me a tacky beer cozy–you know those foamy cups that insulate your bottle? “This is not the life I ordered” was written across it in neon letters. It was a silly gag gift for an occasion that I can no longer recall. Recently I dragged it out from a box in the basement and announced that from now on, I would be using it to hold all of my beverages because this is NOT the life I ordered! I lucked out in the husband department, I love my children immensely, friends and family abound. Overall my life is blessed, so I should probably clarify.  I wouldn’t trade being my daughter’s mum for anything. Maybe it’s because I love her so deeply that being her mother is all the more difficult. Avery breaks my heart a little bit, in some way, every day. Happy moments, sad ones, fearful, worrisome, desperate moments– they all have an effect on you as a parent, as a person really. When Avery was four months old we had concerns which we addressed with our family doctor. She was not gaining weight, refused to nurse or drink from a bottle and[…]

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Boo Hoo, My Baby’s No Longer Two….

Teary, Blubbery, Gloomy, Snivelly, Sappy, Sucky and Sobby The new cast of the Seven-Dwarfs? More like a perfect description of me approaching my baby girl’s 3rd birthday. Maybe I was a little grumpy or even a titch witchy? No. Not really witchy (I just used that word so I could use a photo of me as the witch from Snow White!) Really, I was more of a weepy, mush-bag. I could easily write a post wrought with emotion describing how far our little girl has come. How she’s faced obstacles and countless trips to hospitals and appointments with a smile and that giggle of hers that makes me want to laugh and cry at the same time. I could go on about how her daddy and I burst with pride every time she accomplishes a goal or does something that she was never “supposed” to be able to do. I could. But I won’t. Every parent’s child is special. Every parent bursts with pride on a daily basis. And, every parent feels sentimental on their child’s birthday. I’m no different. This year my husband, 6 year old son and our dog Roger (What? He’s totally part of the family) made[…]

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Do You Have Spectacula Maculas?

  Three nights ago I went a little bit blind. Friday Night after Cardio Boot Camp I logged onto Twitter and noticed that my fellow tweeters were making an LOT of typos–leaving out letters and even whole words. I felt smug. At least I wasn’t the only one who made “twypos”! Then I realized they hadn’t. It was me. My eyes were all wonky. It was looking through broken glass that had been smeared with Vaseline. My husband suggested it was eye strain. That sounded reasonable since I’d been on the computer a lot. As I was contemplating this, things worsened. I suddenly saw wiggly white lights flashing from the centre of my eyes, outward. I freaked out and ran upstairs. Not the smartest move in retrospect. The vision impaired should refrain from running up stairs. I went to bed, shut my eyes tight, and hoped I would see things clearly in the morning. If I had been having a stroke or some other medical emergency, ignoring these symptoms could have been well, not good. In the morning my vision was back to normal, with the exception of those annoying floaties passing across my field of vision. I reported this to[…]

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Do They Have HBO in Hell?

What do Spielberg’s Poltergeists 1, 2 and 3, White Noise starring Michael Keaton and the horror flick, The Ring all have in common? Creepy scenes involving a television! Growing up I was warned that T.V. was bad for me, but I thought that meant my eyeballs would implode if I sat too close. I had no idea that ghosts could burst out of the screen and that television was…evil. For years I ignored the warnings and lived dangerously. I watched Donny and Marie, The Love Boat and Fantasy Island. Sure, Donny and Marie’s relationship was somewhat unnatural, but it wasn’t “supernatural.” The Love Boat? Now what could be evil about an amorous ship? Maybe Doc was a little too touchy-feeling at times, but that’s not evil. Unless of course, he touched his patients inappropriately. And Fantasy Island? No wait, that show WAS evil. On so many levels. As I sprouted into a more discriminating couch potato, I enjoyed such non-evil classics as Silver Spoons, Family Ties, Growing Pains. The Wonder Years, and Roseanne. All perfectly pleasant and moral. Okay Roseanne could be foul at times, especially during that whole Tom Arnold spell, but I wouldn’t say she was evil (Though when[…]

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Oh. My. God. I’m. Tired.

Sleep deprivation and parenthood go hand and hand. I’m aware of this. But my kids are 6 and 3! Is there no end in sight to the persistent dark under eye circles, puffy lids and greyish skin tone? Not to mention the continuous state of “idiot” I seem to be in. Always forgetting where I’ve left things, trouble forming complete sentences, losing my train of um, you know, the…what was I saying? Lack of sleep turns a Yummy Mummy into a Dummy Mummy. Last night, I shut down my computer early. If you must know, my Tweetdeck crashed, so I figured the hell with it and turned in for the night. After tossing and turning for the usual hour or so, I finally drifted to sleep with soothing thoughts of how non-puffy and fresh I would be after a good night’s rest. 1:15 a.m.. The baby monitor lit up our room like a red light district. I jumped up and stumbled blindly down the hall to check on DD. Weird. She was sleeping like, well, like a baby. Back to bed. More adrenaline induced tossing and turning and then back to sleep. 2:35 a.m.. More screaming. Wailing actually and then[…]

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