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A Message For My Friend
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Words…
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What? You want my autograph?
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MY BUCKET LIST…but not exactly
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Just Bitchin’
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A Fine Line Between “Boo Hoo” & “Whoo Hoo!”
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I Have No Dreams
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Taking A Stand
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The Beginning
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Boo Hoo, My Baby’s No Longer Two….

A Message For My Friend

  There are so many joyful things in life—a laugh between friends that leaves you breathless is one of them. I can always count on my friend Sarah for one of those laughs. I am thankful she is part of my life. She’s a friend, but also part of our family. Last week her dad died, suddenly and tragically, and way too soon. It’s heart wrenching to watch somebody you love having to face something so painful. Our family stayed with Sarah and her parents last summer in Nova Scotia. Her father Gene, was a warm and funny man. I called him “Gampy Gene.” After laughing hysterically, Sarah corrected me. It was “Grampy.” I liked the sound of Gampy better, so I stuck with it. Gene didn’t seem to mind. When my son heard that Gene had passed away, he was quiet. Then he said, “Gene showed me the deers in his yard. He’s the one who told me what ticks are. You hafta watch out for ticks.” He asked, “Is Sarah sad? Did she cry?” It’s funny how kids gauge the gravity of a situation by how upset adults are and if tears are involved. “Yes. She did.” I[…]

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Words…

The letter M isn’t very commanding on its own. An E flying solo has very little influence. But when united in a word, they become powerful. I’m aware that I talk more than the average person and I don’t even say half the things I’m thinking at any given moment. I suppose this is why I enjoy blogging–it’s like a shunt, releasing the pressure of the words in my head. Words are beautiful when crafted by someone with a kind heart. Words can soothe when spoken by a gentle soul. But, words wielded by the ignorant and tactless can leave behind a painful mark. Last week my daughter happily drew lines on a chalkboard in our doctor’s waiting room. A woman sitting beside me asked how old my girl is. When I told her, she said, “Awfully small for three isn’t she?” The response in my head was, “Well you’re awfully stupid for 60!” What I actually said was, “Yup. She’s our little girl.” As my daughter drew, she and I communicated using signs. The woman leaned over and asked, “Does she talk?” I explained that she has a speech delay, but is a proficient signer. This woman then told[…]

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What? You want my autograph?

Last month I had the opportunity to step out of my comfort zone (like, WAY out) and film a segment for YMC T.V. The “behind the scenes” blog is here (with a link to the video segment). If Erica had asked me to do this years ago, despite her Ninja mind tricks of persuasion, I would have flat out said, “NO FRICKEN WAY am I doing that!” But, after the recent upheavals and subsequent adjustments to the course my life has taken – I’m changed. Not dramatically. Not even detectable by most, but just enough to be able to embrace the cliche, “life is short.” Really it is. Think about how many opportunities we forgo because of discomfort or unfounded fears. I knew that there was a very strong possibility that I would fall on my face and look like a complete ass working in front of a camera. I did screw up a few times in fact and said “ok” way too much, but the world didn’t end. It turned out ok. Shit. Said it again. Don’t you hate when you latch onto a word and it becomes your security phrase when you’re nervous or tired or stunned? I’m[…]

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MY BUCKET LIST…but not exactly

  I love the idea of writing a bucket list – things you want to do before you kick the bucket. It’s not as easy as you’d think. I tried. I really did. But them I got frustrated and wrote a Fucket List of traits to nix before I kick the bucket. Here they are in no particular order: 1. Stop obsessing over how the weather is going to affect my hair and just go out into the elements and live my life. Do animals give a shit what their fur is doing? No. Humans are stupid. It’s only hair! 2. Stop feeling guilty about every little thing. I’m not even Catholic. 3. Quit worrying about my car, my house, my clothes. Material things DO NOT matter. I know this, I just need to believe it. 4. Stop trying to control everything (people, schedules, household tasks, life) all the time. 5. Seeking the approval of others is pointless. Suck it up ya sensitive pansy and just get on with it. 6. Envy is ugly. So what if she’s a better writer, or he’s wittier or she’s thinner or more in shape or more successful or….fucket. Does it matter? 7. As[…]

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Just Bitchin’

I’m a bitch, I’m a lover, I’m a child, I’m a mother ~ Meredith Brooks I’m pretty even-keeled most of time. I never yell and rarely pitch a fit. I’m generally easy going, unless I’m over-tired. Or super hungry. Throw in a few hormonal spikes and I can be… unpleasant.  At first I get quiet. Which is abnormal. Eerie even. This is a warning sign. Then comes that hyper, giddy, everything is hilarious, burst of energy you have before you crash and that, right there, is when I can become a bit of a bitch. And who is in my line of fire? Surely not my children. They’re too young and innocent to face my wrath full force. No. It’s my closest friend. My soul mate. The one who is legally bound to me until death do we part. Here are the ten things he does to drive me over the edge. Poor man, but he knew what he was in for when he married me.  1. Slurping any liquid. He’s doing it right now as I’m writing this. It’s all I can do not to wrestle that mug away from his grasp and bash him over the head with[…]

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A Fine Line Between “Boo Hoo” & “Whoo Hoo!”

I put the “mental” in sentimental on more than one occasion this week. I could easily write a sappy post about the heartbreak of watching my children head off to school this fall. It’s odd, this weird mixture of nostalgia and fierce pride watching your babies grow up before your eyes. I could lament about my son starting grade one and what a caring, big-hearted little man he is becoming. I could write about how his little sister is missing her playmate desperately and about the fear I have about my daughter, post Epilepsy diagnosis, going to preschool 2x a week. I could. But instead I am going to list the things my dear children do to annoy the living crap out of me on a daily basis—the things that enable mothers to wipe away the tears, and let out an elated “Yeee-ha!” (possibly too elated, as other parents stare, aghast, as you peel out of the parking lot) as you drop off your mini-yous at school. Here is my Top Ten List…in no particular order (though number one is a major pet peeve): 1. Mimicking my every word like a myna bird with an attitude 2. Peeing in the[…]

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I Have No Dreams

I’m not talking about hopes/aspirations kind of dreams– those died the day I had children. Kidding. My dreams aren’t dead, but rather in a temporary coma. I experience dreamless sleep these days. The thing with being sleep deprived (other than the brain numbing duh-ness and scary under eye-bags) is that I don’t dream. Or possibly I do, but I’m just too tired to recall. I used to have crazy vivid dreams every night that I loved recapping the following morning. I’ve never seen my husband laugh as hard at anything than at my “re-enactment” of the dream where I was master of a parade gone horribly wrong. I’d retell it here, but it would be lost in translation without the necessary visuals and accompanying marching song. Many of my creative ideas and quirky inspirations for inventions or organizational tools came from dreams. I’ve even had prophetic dreams and had tea with deceased relatives while dreaming. For the last few months, my sleep has been dreamless. No reverie whatsoever. Not even a simple, run-of-the-mill “running in place, not getting anywhere, while completely naked at my high school reunion as my teeth are falling out” dream. Until last night. I wish I[…]

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Taking A Stand

I’ve never considered myself a very assertive person and definitely not a confrontational one. Over the past two years we’ve worked with cardiologists, neurologists, therapists, orthotists, geneticists, pharmacists—so many people whose title ends in “ist”. There was a time when I followed a doctor’s advice without question. They were the professional – the expert. Who was I to question them? Now I question everything. I research every word. I seek second and even third opinions. I don’t care if I get glared at. I don’t care if I’m a pain. I don’t care if I’m disliked. I do care about my children. They are my priority. Last week my husband took the kids to his parent’s while I hosted a party at our house. At 11:30 p.m. he phoned home to tell me an ambulance was there to take Avery to the hospital. She was having a seizure that wouldn’t stop. I met them in the ER. The seizure eventually stopped on its own without medication. After 8 hours, they sent us home and told us to follow up with our neurologist. The following afternoon, I put Avery down for her nap. Thanks to our family, we now have a[…]

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The Beginning

  One year my husband gave me a tacky beer cozy–you know those foamy cups that insulate your bottle? “This is not the life I ordered” was written across it in neon letters. It was a silly gag gift for an occasion that I can no longer recall. Recently I dragged it out from a box in the basement and announced that from now on, I would be using it to hold all of my beverages because this is NOT the life I ordered! I lucked out in the husband department, I love my children immensely, friends and family abound. Overall my life is blessed, so I should probably clarify.  I wouldn’t trade being my daughter’s mum for anything. Maybe it’s because I love her so deeply that being her mother is all the more difficult. Avery breaks my heart a little bit, in some way, every day. Happy moments, sad ones, fearful, worrisome, desperate moments– they all have an effect on you as a parent, as a person really. When Avery was four months old we had concerns which we addressed with our family doctor. She was not gaining weight, refused to nurse or drink from a bottle and[…]

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Boo Hoo, My Baby’s No Longer Two….

Teary, Blubbery, Gloomy, Snivelly, Sappy, Sucky and Sobby The new cast of the Seven-Dwarfs? More like a perfect description of me approaching my baby girl’s 3rd birthday. Maybe I was a little grumpy or even a titch witchy? No. Not really witchy (I just used that word so I could use a photo of me as the witch from Snow White!) Really, I was more of a weepy, mush-bag. I could easily write a post wrought with emotion describing how far our little girl has come. How she’s faced obstacles and countless trips to hospitals and appointments with a smile and that giggle of hers that makes me want to laugh and cry at the same time. I could go on about how her daddy and I burst with pride every time she accomplishes a goal or does something that she was never “supposed” to be able to do. I could. But I won’t. Every parent’s child is special. Every parent bursts with pride on a daily basis. And, every parent feels sentimental on their child’s birthday. I’m no different. This year my husband, 6 year old son and our dog Roger (What? He’s totally part of the family) made[…]

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