Category - Special Needs

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Disability Awareness
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Pandemic Parenting: Back to School or Not?
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Mistakes Happen—What You Do Next Matters
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You Want A Child With A Disability In Your Kid’s Class
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When Your Child’s First Pet Dies

Disability Awareness

The hashtag #disabilityawareness is a curious one. I mean, if you have a disability or love someone who does, you are well aware. But alas, making others aware is the point of such social campaigns. You might think you understand what it’s like living with an intellectual or physical disability. But, unless it’s your reality, you don’t know. Not truly. Last week was the “International Day of Persons with Disabilities.” It’s a day, primarily on the internet, created as a means to celebrate differences and to educate about life with disabilities. It’s also an opportunity to discuss what it means to be ableist. As the parent of a child with a disability, I’m learning to embrace the words disability and disabled. I’m of the “special needs mom” generation. But, it turns out you can teach an old dog new tricks. Yes, I referred to myself as an old dog in this scenario. Avery’s class honoured the day by each sharing a bit about their particular disabilities. Here is what my daughter proudly shared. While you’re here, I wrote this a few years ago about why disabilities are not “special needs.”

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Pandemic Parenting: Back to School or Not?

Last August we were deciding what school backpack to buy and whether or not to sign up for the school lunch program. This year we’re deciding whether or not to send our children back to school in the midst of a contagious virus. It feels surreal (word of the year right there). This isn’t a choice anybody imagined having to make. Though everyone is saying, “Whatever your decision, we support you, no judgment,” that’s not entirely true. People are judging. Though it’s not really about other people’s choices, but about justifying and feeling secure about our own. But here’s the thing. PANDEMIC. There is no security, and the uncertainty brings out the worst in some people. Imagine a single working mom who has no option for childcare and who would absolutely keep her kids home if she could. Then imagine she scrolls through her Facebook feed and sees the following comment: “If you’re sending your kids back to school, you better update your will.” What an awful thing to say. It’s dramatic and mean. An insensitive and ignorant comment like this compounds the guilt and distress she is already feeling. If you were sitting down with this mom over coffee masked[…]

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Mistakes Happen—What You Do Next Matters

You might have the best of intentions, but you can be accidentally offensive or innocently insensitive. We’ve all done it. It’s what we do next, after the mistake or misstep, that shows who we really are. I saw this image on Instagram and wanted to share it. I traced it back to the original source—because we should always do that if we can. Giving credit where credit is due is worth a little sleuthing because creating beautiful pictures and thoughtful graphics takes work. I found the artist’s page and read what she wrote to accompany the graphic she created. I nodded in agreement with her sentiments about treating people with love and respect, and about checking our privilege and biases and just being better. Amen girl.  *Posted with permission from @ARTBYBIANCAGA If I hadn’t looked for the original content, I wouldn’t have seen the author’s EDIT. In this simple addition to her post she demonstrated her commitment to listening and learning. Isn’t this what we’ve all be vowing to do? To listen and learn and change by accepting feedback with an open mind and a gracious heart?  When we admit that we didn’t know what we didn’t know, we grow.[…]

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You Want A Child With A Disability In Your Kid’s Class

Every parent should hope there’s a student with a disability in their child’s class. Your response to this might be, “Obviously. Being exposed to differences will help my child develop compassion and empathy.” It’s a no-brainer, I agree. But not all parents feel the same. Earlier this week I sat on a bench at a playground watching my daughter. At first glance you wouldn’t know she has special needs. It’s not until you hear her speak that her differences are revealed. But while she was running with the other children she blended in and I remained undetected as the special needs mom. This is probably why the woman next to me spoke openly to her friend about her displeasure at having a “special ed kid” in her son’s class. She didn’t name the grade, but I’m assuming by scanning the playground that her kid is in fourth or fifth grade. She complained that this student was disruptive. She said it was unfair that he required so much of the teacher’s attention. I don’t know the classroom situation so I can’t comment on that except to say that yes, when a child has behavioural challenges, it can be tough for everyone involved. And now larger[…]

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When Your Child’s First Pet Dies

There are many life changing things about including a pet in your family. When you have a child with disabilities, pets can make a marked difference to their quality of life. Pets are more work in a “get off the couch and walk these ding dongs and change that litter and fill that food bowl…” sort of way, but I can’t imagine life without an animal by my side or under the covers. (Even though they should be in their crate. I know, I know…) The only true downside to pets, aside from mild annoyances like the occasional whining to go out for a pee at 5am, or fur on your favourite black yoga pants, is the ultimate downside which is of course the death of your best fur friend.  That’s the part that almost makes me never want to love an animal again. We become attached and they become family. Watching them go is hard. If you’re a pet person, you understand this completely.  Some losses are harder than others. When our guinea pig Ernie died from a seizure we were sad, but we’d had him less than a year and our connection wasn’t as deep as it was with other[…]

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