Category - Special Needs

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I Have A Few Choice Words For That Judgemental Woman
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When Your Child With A Disability Is Told, “You Can’t Play With Us!”
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Disabilities Are Not “Special Needs”
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25 Quotes About Parenting A Child With Disabilities
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A Trip To The Mall That Meant So Much More

I Have A Few Choice Words For That Judgemental Woman

My daughter is CHATTY. There’s rarely a moment of silence with her around unless— a) she has a mouthful of food. b) she’s sleeping (though she talks in her sleep a fair bit). c) I’m brushing her teeth but even then, she manages to hum. d) she’s absorbed in sending a text (which is essentially digital talking) or watching TV.  Her chattiness is amazing considering her “profound speech delay.” Perfectly formed sentences be dammed, if she makes an observation or has a question, you’re going to hear about it.  She might know what she wants to say, but finding the right words is a struggle. I’m having a similar issue at the moment. I’m forgetting the names of simple household items and stumbling over my words. Turns out this is a very real and very annoying side effect of peri-menopause. Oh hoorah, good times ahead.  Anyway, that’s to say, I get it. It’s incredibly frustrating to know what you want to say, but due to wonky wiring between the word bank in your head and your mouth, the words escape you.  As Avery’s family, we almost always know what she’s trying to say and we usually let her finish on her[…]

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When Your Child With A Disability Is Told, “You Can’t Play With Us!”

  My daughter loves playing at the park at the end of our street. She’d stay for hours if she could. But since she’s a child with a disability, she can’t go to the park by herself like her peers do—they can come and go as they please, but my kiddo has to drag her mother along. “Drag” makes me sound like an unwilling companion, but I’m usually content to supervise. Though some days, admittedly it’s inconvenient. And boring. After a few pumps on the swing and perhaps an (awkward) chin-up or two on the monkey bars, my thoughts quickly turn to, “I need to start dinner” or “I have to return that phone call by 5pm” or “I have to pee” or “I wish I brought more coffee” or “I really, really have to pee.”  But she’s a kid who needs fresh air, and climbing and swinging, and companionship, and your basic childhood fun, so I park myself at the park.  Yesterday was a beautiful spring afternoon so I was happy to spend some time warming the park bench.  Within a few minutes of arriving, the play structure filled with kids from Avery’s school. They quickly organized a game of[…]

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Disabilities Are Not “Special Needs”

It’s taken a decade of research into genetics and specific diseases and disabilities for me to gain even a fraction of understanding of my daughter’s syndrome. I still have no idea what I’m doing half the time. And I make plenty of mistakes.  Case in point—until recently I didn’t even realize that the label “special needs” was outdated and unacceptable. I’m immersed in this community, yet I was unaware. And if missed this, maybe you did too? I’m not easily offended. I curse, I make gross jokes. I try not to take what people say too seriously and I try to cut people some slack when they say the wrong thing. We all slip up. Words don’t tell the whole story. Our actions and intentions define who we are.  But, when we are told point-blank that something is offensive, we should pay attention. Isn’t it our responsibility as compassionate citizens to do no harm whenever possible? And seriously, updating our vocabulary costs us nothing. Let’s take the r-word for example. I’ve written about it quite a bit over the years. The word itself is harmless. It means late or delayed. When used appropriately, it should cause no harm. But it does.[…]

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25 Quotes About Parenting A Child With Disabilities

Parenting a child who has a disability definitely has some unique challenges. Here are a few quotes that never fail to deliver a ray of sunshine on the cloudy days. Enjoy and please feel free to add your favourites in the comments.  1. “Motherhood is about raising and celebrating the child you have, not the child you thought you would have.  It’s about understanding that he is exactly the person he is supposed to be and that, if you’re lucky, he just might be the teacher who turns you into the person you are supposed to be.” ~ Joan Ryan 2.  “One of the great things that any community can do is not teach tolerance, but live tolerance, not talk respect, but live inclusivity.” ~ Michael Pritchard 3.  “The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched- They must be felt with the heart.” ~ Helen Keller 4.  Don’t focus on what she can’t do. Focus on what she can do. Like a boss. ~ Lisa Thornbury 5.  “Parents of children with special needs create their own world of happiness and believe in things that others cannot yet see.” ~Unknown 6.  “Sometimes the things we[…]

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A Trip To The Mall That Meant So Much More

This post isn’t intended to be political, but his electoral “win” makes me worry about my daughter’s future. He who shall not be named doesn’t even try to hide his distain for people with disabilities. It makes me wonder if her life will be more difficult because he’s giving people the message that it’s okay to be intolerant and cruel. However, there’s a kindness army rising up against hatred and discrimination. Kids are being raised to believe in equity and love and compassion. We’re surrounded by it, basking in their warmth and inclusion.  My daughter’s school and neighbourhood friends treat her like the important person she is, worthy of respect and friendship.  Avery’s been asking to go shopping with friends for weeks. She doesn’t actually care about buying anything. It’s about the experience. And her purse. She brings it with her on special outings. Inside you’ll find her lip balm, her pretend debit card, her (bicycle) driver’s license and a handful of coins.  I drove my daughter and her two friends to our local mall to do some Christmas shopping.  I tried to stay in the background to give Avery the feeling of shopping on her own with her friends like[…]

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