Category - relationships

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It’s Important To Protect Your Blog
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A Trip To The Mall That Meant So Much More
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Turn Around—”Metanoia” That Conflict
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Small Kids, Big Worries
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Goodbye Friend

It’s Important To Protect Your Blog

You might not be a Blogger (not all of us are, it just seems like it) but chances are you’ve journaled, or kept a diary or calendar of milestone moments, or made a photo album to preserve special times. That’s what this blog is for me.  Yes, I write the occasional sponsored post and get paid to heave my “digital social influence” around here and there, but this space isn’t about that. It’s personal. Personal, yet shared publicly across the internet. I started blogging shortly after our daughter was born, ten years ago. I blogged before most people knew what a blog was. I started writing about what life was like as a parent of a child with complicated medical issues and uncharted special needs. I was scared and looking for answers. Writing helped connect me with other parents going through the same thing.  It was also a way for me to keep track of significant milestones—surgeries and illnesses, and firsts, and major accomplishments, and all the feelings. It’s funny, I’ll look back at an old post and be all, “Wait what? She had Scarlett Fever? I totally don’t remember that!”  As the years passed, this blog became a way[…]

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A Trip To The Mall That Meant So Much More

This post isn’t intended to be political, but his electoral “win” makes me worry about my daughter’s future. He who shall not be named doesn’t even try to hide his distain for people with disabilities. It makes me wonder if her life will be more difficult because he’s giving people the message that it’s okay to be intolerant and cruel. However, there’s a kindness army rising up against hatred and discrimination. Kids are being raised to believe in equity and love and compassion. We’re surrounded by it, basking in their warmth and inclusion.  My daughter’s school and neighbourhood friends treat her like the important person she is, worthy of respect and friendship.  Avery’s been asking to go shopping with friends for weeks. She doesn’t actually care about buying anything. It’s about the experience. And her purse. She brings it with her on special outings. Inside you’ll find her lip balm, her pretend debit card, her (bicycle) driver’s license and a handful of coins.  I drove my daughter and her two friends to our local mall to do some Christmas shopping.  I tried to stay in the background to give Avery the feeling of shopping on her own with her friends like[…]

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Turn Around—”Metanoia” That Conflict

Conflict turns my stomach, tightens my chest, and quickens my pulse. I feel legitimately sickened by it.  I avoid arguments and negativity and pot stirring and drama as best I can. Not because I’m a high road walker—it’s more about self-preservation. I wasn’t kidding when I said conflict makes me sick.  As a sensitive over thinking soft hearted earnestly reflective people pleasing peace maker, I struggle to let it go. Why can’t I be more like Elsa?! I take hurtful words or actions to heart. I absorb them and replay them in my mind. That’s the tricky part about being a “highly sensitive empath“. It eats me up.  Instead of spitting an insult back at the insulter, I swallow it. This is not to say I swallow people’s spit. Only my own.  Somebody told me once that this makes me weak. So I slapped her hard across the cheek and kicked her squarely in the crotch. Not really. But I really gave it to her in my head. Don’t get me wrong, if you mess with one of my kids or cross somebody I love, I will lash out. A full-on hard core lashing. I’m not a wimp when I’m[…]

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Small Kids, Big Worries

Anxiety is a pain. Whether we come by it genetically or situationally, it hits all of us at various times in our lives. I’ve written about my struggle with worry—as a parent of a child with a variety of medical issues, I worried about our girl a lot. I looked too far ahead and fretted about the what ifs. I couldn’t stop the catastrophizing.  When you live in the past or in the future, you miss the present, and that’s where all good stuff happens. So I did the cognitive behavioural therapy exercises and it made a world of difference. Don’t get me wrong, I still have moments where I freak the hell out, but I know how to reign it in. This whole being mindful thing is a work in progress.  Adults coping with anxiety is one thing, but what about children with anxiety? Watching your child worry is like being poked in the stomach with a sharp stick.  I’ll unabashedly tell you about my battle with my worry monster, but sharing someone else’s story is offside. But I can say that having a sibling with disabilities can create fear and anxiety for good reason. Watching your sibling choke and[…]

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Goodbye Friend

Friends come and go. It always hurts to some degree—even when the culling was for the best. It’s funny how the memory of these relationships can just randomly pop into you head. Just this morning I thought of an old friend. I’m not sure why. I’ve known her since we were kids. I probably know her better than any of the friends she has now in her adult life. She wasn’t an easy person to get to know as she grew up. She put up walls and over-compensated for the perceived short-comings that chipped away at her self-esteem over the years. The kind, creative, brilliant friend I knew as a child became a narcissistic one-upper, obsessed with success and all the material things. But she was never like that with me. I saw the real her, hidden underneath the layers of hurt and self-doubt. I understood her history. After all, I was beside her when it was being made. We had sleep-overs and did handstands on her front lawn. We made mixed tapes from the radio and stayed up late to watch Saturday Night Live and scary movies. We were friends. Now we’re not. Somewhere along the way she put up[…]

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