Feeling My Age

I often hear other Generation Xers say things like, “I feel like a twenty year old in a forty-five year old body.” Or, “I feel like a kid inside.”

I’ve said that. I’ve felt that. But not today. For whatever reason, I actually feel years older than my age. 

Growing old is obviously a good thing, considering the alternative. I get that. But feeling old is an entirely different beast. A decrepit, dilapidated, creaking and croaking old bitch of a beast. 

Maybe it’s seasonal allergies? It’s most definitely perimenopause… aka hormone-she-hell related. I’m also getting over a bug. Whatever the cause, I’m feeling tired, unfocused, unmotivated, and weak. 

I’m a wilted shrivelled up flower. Which I’m probably allergic too ironically. 

Here are a few things making me feel older than I am. 

1. Reading glasses. I can’t read a thing without them now. I’m a slave to my specs, but I can never find the things when I need them. It’s been suggested I get a “granny chain” to suspend my readers from my neck. 

2. Granny Chains, orthotics, iron pills, magnifying mirrors, sleep aids, root concealer spray, sensible shoes… I could keep going but just writing this list of devices and supplements has just added 3-7 years to my age. 

3. Netflix and Chill? Ha, as if. I’m more Netflix and Knit. Or Netflix and Nap. Or Netflix and Lie on the floor and do the stretches prescribed for my back. I can’t pay attention to a full movie anyway and end up fighting to keep my eyes open for one episode of a show before stumbling to bed. 

4. The grey hairs I’m fairly okay with, I suppose. They’re easily concealed every six weeks. But the grey eyebrow hairs? What do we do about those? I can’t pluck them all or I’ll end up looking like Voldemort with sunspots. Why didn’t I wear a wide-brimmed hat or at least a ball cap and sunscreen growing up? I’m paying the piper now let me tell you. 

5. Gravity’s destruction of my neck is distressing. Can we actually do something to stop this or do we just wait and watch and stock up on turtle necks?

6. Perimenopause. I have no words. Well I have a few. They’re here -> Perimenopause Is A Bloodsport

7. Where did my short-term memory go? I can tell you the name of every kid in my class when I was in third grade, but I can barely remember what grade my own kids are in now. 

8. I’ve always enjoyed making lists (like this Bucket List…. of sorts…funny, I’m still working on every single item on this list from 2009!!), but now lists are more of a necessity than an amusement. No word of a lie, as I’m writing this I’m on hold with my doctor’s office to find out what time my allergy shot appointment is today (if I even remembered to make one). **It’s tomorrow, not today. 

9. I exercise 3-4 times a week and I love it. And I don’t lollygag, I bring it. So what gives with the jiggle in my middle? This wasn’t an issue a few years ago. Hey, thanks hormones. There’s a special place in hell for you, Cortisol. 

10. Time is speeding by. I never really noticed. But now I not only notice, I fully see and can’t unsee it. Weeks fly by so fast it makes my head spin. I’ve heard this happens as we get older—time seemingly speeds up. How is this fair?

Yes, this post is whiny and self indulgent. It’s really just a way to procrastinate. I have things (on my multiple lists) to do. But I’m tired and distracted and feeling old. Did I mention the old thing? Sometimes I forget what I’ve just said and repeat the same story three times. If you’re forty-ish plus, I know you feel me. 


What’s one thing that makes you feel old? Or better yet (and a much more positive perspective) what’s one thing that makes you feel or keeps you feeling young?

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